Friday, November 13, 2015

Poor poor ISIS folks

Well, two things that suck is being Jihadi John or trying to get a decent cup of ISIS coffee.

In the first instance, if you were Jihadi John, you'd be a smithereen because that's what he was blown to, according to the Pentagon, who says they're 99% sure he's toast.

In the second case, it seems that Westerners who left the comfort of civilization are now bitching about life with ISIS.

The 'poor dears' can't even get a decent cup of java because Starbucks is a gun-free zone and will not get caught dead in the Islamic State caliphate. And no decent barista would serve a man with a gun or sword.

And getting a decent cell phone connection is next to impossible, the scumcrumpets are now saying on social media. Some poor ISIS folks have to go up to the roof of the church they destroyed just to get a decent signal.

For the hijab clad chicks, the help at the "beauty" salons is rude. "I ain't touchin' your dirty head o' hair--it stinks from your hijab. When was the last time you took that ugly thing off and washed your hair, bitch?"

Their internet is slower than dial-up, their restaurants suck so badly that some of the jihadists go foraging for vermin rather than eat at one of those "greasy fingers." The Westerners who signed up to kill for Allah are having second thoughts. Some wanna go home to their mommies and lay down their bloody swords.

"ISIS champions its state as the only place in which Muslims can fully adhere to their faith and enjoy sharia-complaint Islamic life," reads a MEMRI report introduction obtained by Fox News.

ISIS women are disillusioned by the way they're treated--much like sex objects, pack animals and shoe scum. It isn't personal, claims ISIS, it's just religion.

I don't mean to be callous but I find it difficult to sympathize with anyone who has signed up to be part of this barbaric group of lunatics.


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