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Monday, September 28, 2015

Obama addresses the UN as Putin shivers in his Cossack boots

After schooling the pope this week on what real Christianity is all about, Barack Hussein Obama went on to school the United Nations General Assembly about the threat of terrorism in the world.

Of course, for the most part, he was preaching to the choir, as there are 57 Islamic nations in the UN, and they are all quite familiar, as is Obama, with the Koran and its bellicose writings.

Nevertheless, Obama appealed for global cooperation in dealing with terrorism and gave his negotiating position on Syria before Vladimir Putin got his shot at the podium.

Obama, being careful not to use the words Islamic or jihadist, warned the UN of the "dangerous currents" threatening the modern world. He cited "brutal networks of terror" [not Islamic networks of terror, mind you] that have filled the vacuum in fragile states which have created a refugee crisis of "epic scale" proportions [which, of course, had nothing to do with his failure to get involved].

Obama, always the gentle kitten, urged the nations of the world against imposing order "by force," [that's the job of ISIS].

"If we cannot work together collectively, [a la Karl Marx] we will all suffer the consequences." the socialist leader said, implying that Russia ought to ease up and relax.

Obama said the US is willing to work with Iran and Russia to resolve the Syrian civil war but added that the world cannot see a "return to the pre-war status quo" in Syria. 

"Let's remember how this started," Obama told the Alzheimer afflicted UN delegates. "[Bashar] Assad reacted to peaceful protests by escalating repression and killing."

But that's kind of what dictators do when being threatened at the loss of power.

Putin, however, spoke and said that he supported the Assad government because it is only that chinless lisping leader who is fighting against terrorists. [He too forgot that they are Islamic jihadists and do not see beheadings, immolation, and stonings as terrorism, but acts of religious duty.]

Obama and Putin are planning to speak off mic at the annual gathering of world leaders.