In North Korea, If You Snooze, You Lose

What is the sound of no hand clapping?

North Korea's defense chief, Hyon Yong Chol, must have been tired after a long previous day and he fell asleep during a meeting held by Dennis Rodman's best friend in the whole wide world, Kim Jong Un.

But instead of waking up the sleepyhead, Kim had him put to sleep forever. It didn't help Chol that he answered Kim back for something he said at the meeting.

Anyway, this information was obtained by South Korea's spy agency who reported the execution to the country's lawmakers. How they got this information is not known, but guess what, I find it difficult to believe that a guy who was described by such a great basketball player, who got to know Kim up close and personal, could do such a horrific thing. Oh wait, I forgot--Kim also had his uncle killed for supposedly being a spy so maybe it's true.

The offices of lawmaker Shin Kyoung-min (as opposed to Shin Kyoung-maj) as well as that of Lee Cheol Woo both received similar intelligence from the National Intelligence Service (NIS), so there's a fairly good probability that the information is true.

The NIS didn't reveal to Shin and Lee how they got the information but said that it came from several reliable sources and they believed it to be accurate, Shin said.

North Korea most likely told a fib (using a Dennis Rodman-ish term), claiming that Chol was killed by anti-aircraft fire at a shooting range at Pyongyang's Kang Kon Military Academy (which is not connected to the King Kong Military Movie Academy) in late April.

Hyon Yong Chol, the dead guy, had been named armed forces minister last year and was a vice marshal of the Korean People's Army as of July 2012, but was demoted to a four-star general later that year, possibly due to a bout of severe flatulence at another meeting held by Kim and Dennis.

Last month, spy leaders told lawmakers that Kim executed 15 senior officials accused of challenging his authority. 

Our own State Department spokesman, Jeff Rathke said the U.S. cannot confirm the execution of any North Korean officials, but added that President Obama had just learned of these heinous acts from the media, same as the rest of us folks.

Dennis Rodman was not available for comment.


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