Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Nouri al-Maliki and His Job Market Woes

Nouri al-Maliki, the Iraq Prime Minister, is no longer supposed to be in power but he refuses to leave office even after they took his computer offline and cut off his phone. In fact, he actually refuses to leave the building.

"Where will I go? What will I do?" al Maliki asked. "Sell kulfi on the street?" Kulfi is a form of Middle East ice cream and it's rather tasty--Nouri could do worse.

Haider al-Abadi is slated to take over as Prime Minister but Nouri is having the toughest time letting go. Meanwhile, nothing is being done about the Islamic State, (formerly known as ISIS, which I refuse to explain any longer) and people are being slaughtered and some punk-ass jerk with a beard is warning us, Big Satan, that they're coming to behead us where we live.

Al-Maliki doesn't have many options if he is forced to leave the building. He is never going to win on "The Bachelor" because he looks too much like Mr. Potato Head or Henry Waxman. Women don't go for that look, I am told. Nouri can't dance, don't ask him. And he has no other talents such as arts and crafts.

Wait. Maybe he can become a community organizer. Yeah, that's the ticket.

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