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Thursday, April 24, 2014

4 Ways to Tell a Conservative from a Leftist

America was once called "the melting pot," because it became home to people from all over the world. They "melted" into the culture that was America and were proud to be known as Americans. Today, America is less of a melting pot and more of a smoke some pot, kind of nation. We are divided mainly by two philosophically opposed poles, conservatives and leftists.

Sometimes it isn't obvious as to which pole a person positions him or herself, but hopefully the information below will help sort it out for you.

1. American exceptionalism: President Obama told the world in a Tele Prompter speech that America is exceptional just like countries in Europe are exceptional. No more, no less. 

Conservatives believe that America is exceptional and goes above and beyond any other country in the world. It is not egotistical banter, nor is it simply bragging, because it`s true--at least conservatives believe so.

Leftists don`t believe America is exceptional in a good way--they see America as a nation of bullies who staunchly believe in a 200 year old document that has outlived its usefulness, the US Constitution. They believe the president has the power to override the Constitution at those times when a leftist president is in office. 

Insofar as other countries are concerned, leftists believe that we are no better than Russia, Iran, Afghanistan, or China. In order for us to peacefully coexist with these nations, we must have an open and honest dialogue, shake hands, and show cooperation. Leftists believe that if we could just all sit around a camp fire, belt out a round of Kumbayah, and roast marshmallows, the world would get along. They even have the feelings to prove it.

2. Military: Conservatives believe that "God made man, but Samuel Colt made them equal." They believe in a strong military as a deterrent to tyrants like Vladimir Putin, Hitler and Ed Schultz. (More on him later.) 

Conservatives worry that Obama's military cuts will weaken our national strength and make us look weak to the Putins and Hitlers of the world, while being just right for the Ed Schultz's. 

Bullies are usually afraid of real strength, and this goes for our enemies. 

Leftists, on the other hand, believe the military is populated by knuckle-dragging cretins. They wince when conservatives call soldiers and marines returning from Afghanistan, "heroes." To leftists, the real heroes are basketball players and media darlings who come out of the closet and admit they're gay. How brave to be seen by the left as "cool." 

3. Power: Conservatives make no secret that they want the GOP in power, and some would like to see the Tea Party rise to power and reduce the federal government. In order to win elections, the party members hand out fliers, knock on doors, and air TV ads.

Leftists do the same, but they take it a step farther. Not only do they run TV ads, hand out fliers, and visit houses, they go to cemeteries and visit graves where some of the best registered voters' remain remain. (Try using "remain" in tandem like that, eh.)

Conservative principals are dictated by the successes from the past and some go as far back as the Founding Fathers and the aforementioned Constitution.

Leftists principals are dictated by emotional processes that go back to what the media tells them it should be, and to unproven beliefs that often fly in the face of facts.

Where a conservative might say: "I may not believe in what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it;" a leftist might say: "I do not agree with what you say, but will work tirelessly to get you fired for saying it."

4. Income equality: Conservatives believe that income should be performance-based. A fully competent person working at a company for 10 years is more valuable to the company than a fully competent person working for the same company in the same position for ten days. Now if that newbie turns out to be more valuable to the company for whatever reason, the free market will dictate to the company (without even really dictating) that he or she should be compensated more than someone with less value.

Leftists want to see everyone making the same income for the same job, regardless of intrinsic value to the company. It's the "everyone gets a trophy" attitude, and it's putting a pin in the balloon of ambition and drive.

The reason leftists believe this way is because honest competition scares the crap out of them. Rarely are they the ones who came in first in suicide dodge-ball or soccer. If they lose at something, they define themselves as losers. 

Conservatives have less fear of competition. They know how it has driven America to be first to the moon, for example. They know how hard work pays off. 

Leftists know how hard work is.