Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Everything is Our Fault, Not Obama's

The sequester, while it was the brain child of Barack Hussein Obama, is not his fault. It is the fault of Republicans because, well, it just is, so there you go. Because of the cutbacks ordered by the sequester, the Blue Angels, the Navy's precision flying team, cannot perform, the White House cannot remain open for public tours, cancer patients cannot get the chemotherapy drugs they need and might therefore die, over a million federal workers will have to take unpaid furloughs, and James Clapper, the Director of Intelligence, warned that the sequester will leave us more vulnerable to terrorism. (I used to think that our not calling it Islamic terrorism or identifying the real cause of terrorism made us more vulnerable to it). 

In fact, due to the sequester, all fun things you can think of that is under the auspices of the federal government is cancelled until we on the right of Obama's leftists, give in to his demands.  What's next, flushing toilets? But what isn't next are Obama vacations and golfing, and Biden spending about half a million dollars a day for his hotel stays with his staff.


Benghazi was not the fault of Obama--he was too busy with other matters when he heard about the attack. It was the fault of that video guy--you know, the guy who made that horribly accurate, albeit crummy video, about the prophet of Islam . . . you know who I'm talking about . . . starts with the letter M, but if you say his name without adding some Arabic mumbo jumbo, you might get killed on YouTube. So Benghazi definitely wasn't Obama's fault--he went back to sleep knowing he had people that would handle it. You can't hold someone responsible for something that happened when they were asleep when it happened.

Solyndra, that solar panel company that went bankrupt after Obama gave them hundreds of millions of our tax dollars, wasn't his fault. It was our money so it must be our fault--simple math.

Fast and Furious, where our government supplied guns to Mexican drug cartels, wasn't Obama's fault, nor was it the fault of Eric Holder, the head of the DoJ. You remember Holder, he's the man who did nothing to indict the New Black Panthers for keeping white voters away from the polling place in Philadelphia. No, Fast and Furious was something that George W. Bush did first, (although not the same way, nor did the guns walk away, but that doesn't count), and GW is a Republican, so it's the fault of the GOP--not the fault of Obama. It's never his fault because rock stars can do no wrong.

The economy is definitely not Obama's fault. He has only been president for a little over one term and it takes a long time to straighten out what that guy, George W. Bush did to this country. The unemployment numbers have improved if you don't count those losers who gave up looking for a job, and if push comes to shove, Obama can just print more money. The only problem is that we may soon run out of material to make the actual physical money: linen and cotton; but maybe if that happens, we can just go to paper until we run out of trees.


The Chevy Volt gets a couple of miles on an overnight charge, and less if you're in a hurry. But don't blame Obama for saving GM, blame us for not buying the car that is so green it will save the planet (if you don't count the fact that the electricity it takes to charge it comes from generators that run on coal and other fuels that aren't so green).

Obamacare isn't Obama's fault, he says, and nobody can challenge that claim because nobody fully understands it. Just don't get sick.

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