GM's New Green Rocket Inspired Auto--Obama's Baby

Bagavond design 1

 General Motors, the company we taxpayers have bailed out because, hey, Obama wanted us to bail them out, is developing an incredible new automobile.  This "super car," tentatively called The Bagavond, is using early childhood developmental technology and incorporating it in an innovative package with sleek stylish looks, practically guaranteed to be a chick magnet, and a water-based technology that has propelled this auto to speeds that touch 20,000 meters an hour.  (For Anglophiles, that's 20,000 metres per hour). 

Bagavond Presidential model

Here's how this baby works.  Remember those water rockets you may have played with as a kid?  Perhaps you're too young, but if so, ask your dad about these amazing projectiles.  You fill the rocket about 3/4 full of water and pump in air to increase pressure in the tank.  The rocket sits on a hand-held launcher that holds it in place and seals the exhaust, until you pull the trigger and Wooosh! off it goes, almost 50 feet into the sky.  The pressurized water is the propellant and there are no nasty fumes to pollute the air and give your offspring airborne diseases and cancer.  Well that's the way the Bagavond works.  Of course, it's more complicated than that, because you don't have a launcher, per se, and the water must be refilled in a place other than the kitchen sink.  Also, a pressurized air tank must be used to give that H2O a kick so your rocket car can take off.

How often must a Bagavond be refueled?  Well, it varies, but on average it's good to go about every three to four blocks, depending on whether there's traffic in front of you when you take off.  It's not a good idea to stop, once you're hauling oats, if you know what I mean.  But think of the advantages this car has over the Chevy Volt--no need to recharge the battery, just refill the water tank.  And if the Bagavond should somehow catch on fire, like the Chevy Volt, the fuel will actually help put the fire out . . . unless it's an electrical fire caused by a battery problem.

When Volts go bad

On the downside, GM is still working on the problem of water exhaust dispersion.  For now, it can be a very jarring experience to drive behind a Bagavond as the water shoots out the rear end in a highly pressurized stream.  Engineers are working on this problem and will try to redirect it so that it can be used to clean the streets, thus making it even greener when it's used, than when it sits at a fire hydrant.

It is estimated that the water charge to fill the rocket car will only be about $10.00 and a pressurized atmosphere charge will only be $15.00 per charge, so while the cost may exceed that of using traditional fuels, think of all the good things this car will accomplish. Birds will drink, streets will be cleaner, and your children will have a better chance of dying from an Iranian nuclear weapon than automotive fumes.  Now doesn't that make you feel better?

Finally, the cost of the Bagavond is projected to be $67,000 US and will also be available in Russia and Saudi Arabia, where water itself, might be hard to find.  President Obama is pushing hard for this car, stating that this is the wave of the future and he will not allow GM to fail.  He will be offering purchasers of the Bagavond a rebate of $2,000 in cash or food stamps, whichever comes first to his mind.


Wooosh!

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