6 Ideas on How to Talk to a Liberal and Dump Obama

Life isn't always pleasant--there are times when we must do things that make us cringe, but we know it must be done if we want a country that isn't heading down the road to socialism.  In order to assure that the direction we now seem headed makes a turnaround, and that we don't become a nanny state, we must secure a win in next November's election.  However, if we want to win, we need at least some liberals to actually think and grow, thus changing the way they robotically vote for candidates who they believe represent their superior  views of America. Liberals want candidates who are against the big corporations, like those on Wall Street and the banking industry. You might know them as the guys who funded Obama's campaign, as well as the other guys he bailed out with billions of your tax dollars. But most liberals don't acknowledge these facts, and if you tell try to discuss them, they will become enraged (they never just get angry) and you'll never sway their vote.

A Liberal in Thought

We may want to avoid dealing with liberals, knowing that they don't listen to reason, they don't verify their information (which is why Ronald Reagan brought up the topic in the first place, I believe), and they do not use their brains to assist in their decisions--they use the unverifiable faux facts of friends, teachers, and functional retards like Chris Matthews. So how do we convert them to the right? Below, I have listed several ways you might want to engage with a liberal, create a rapport, and have them see things in conservative terms. I am using the masculine pronoun to facilitate my thesis, but the feminine can just as easily be substituted. So don't be insulted when I say 'he' instead of 'she.' It's no big deal--unless you're a liberal.

"Down with soap"

1. To break the ice with your liberal, tell them you hope nobody else gets hurt at the "Occupy Everything But a Job" demonstrations and that you know the protestors really mean well. Sympathize with the fact that the weather will soon be getting much colder and you hope their 'issues' get resolved before they suffer frostbite.  At all costs, avoid being confrontational, even if you have to distract yourself by pulling out a curly short hair south of the equator, to keep yourself from telling this liberal that he has the mind of a thistle. (Remember, most liberals think of themselves as highly intelligent and superior over conservatives. Chris Matthews exemplifies this delusion, but don't say that out loud or you will surely lose your liberal and a vote against Obama.) Always remember to smile when speaking.

2. Let your liberal know that you see nothing wrong with college courses that teach subjects like Bolivian flower studies, Profiles in Honest Dissent, Italian Ice Sculpting, and that you wish there were more positions available to employ people who have majored in these important topics.

I love them vegans

3. Inform your liberal that your conservative candidate is a vegan but doesn't want to make it public in order to avoid insulting the meat industry.  A recent analysis showed that veganism actually kills more animals than being a meat eater due to animal deaths associated by farming for vegetables, but don't tell that fact to them--remember, you're trying to have them ally with you, so keep confrontational facts out of the conversation.


4. Convince your liberal target that your candidate "means well" because that is really all they care about; results don't count, meaning well is everything. In light of this, tell your liberal that you voted for Obama in '08 but due to the fact that he worsened the economy, did nothing for job growth, received more money from Wall Street than any other president then threw them under the bus with the Occupy Poopy Pants Protest, he isn't really as liberal as he pretends to be.  In fact, you might want to let on that you know for a fact that Obama watches Fox News to find out what's really going on in the country, but he pretends to hate Fox.


5. If your liberal is Jewish, and many Jewish people are liberal, you will get nowhere by telling him that Obama threw Israel under the bus, since many Jewish liberals have done the same thing. (That's because they are only Jewish in name, but liberal in religion). But you might try explaining how Israel is a strategic ally in the Middle East and is important to our own security. Unfortunately, most liberals don't actually understand anything about national security and don't see terrorism as the fault of the terrorists, but of the USA's. In fact, many liberals see 9/11 as our fault. These liberals also go by another name, which is the same as a body part below the waist and above the knees.

6. Convince your liberal that you like Obama but you think he would be able to do more good back in public life, perhaps as a commie, I mean community organizer.

If any of these methods can convince your liberal to vote conservative, you will have that sense of incredible accomplishment, because the chances of you actually being able to convince a liberal of anything that requires using his brain, is as likely as running into three people with your same last name at Times Square as you each get hit by a falling satellite. Good luck.

If you are interested in terrorism and suspense, I have provided 2 links (below) for a hard copy (soft cover) edition and an eBook edition of my latest novel, Jihad Joe.  It's a story about Zed Nill, a New York based reporter, taken hostage by Islamic terrorists.  He must escape, or be beheaded the following day . . . the clock is ticking.

click here for softcover Jihad Joe                     

click here for ebook version  


Tweet