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It occurred to me that some things never change. Women are the softer sex and boys will be boys. If you're offended by the first statement, you might be a liberal, but what follows should not offend you any further.
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| Woody? Perhaps |
You might remember the Woody Allen-Mia Farrow scandal back in the '90s when she found some naked photos taken by Woody of her adopted daughter, Soon-Yi Previn. Soon-Yi was adopted by Mia when she had a previous relationship with Andre Previn, separated from him, and hooked up with Woody around 1980 or so. They never married but, heck, what's in a marriage anyway, other than a statistically better situation for the children, and they did have children from this relationship. Anyway, in 1992 after Mia found the photos, she and Woody were, as they say, 'splitsville.' But that wasn't the end to Woody and Soon-Yi, who was 22 at the time and Woody 56. They subsequently "did the right thing" and got married, and they remain married to this day, so far. Woody's biological son, Ronan, had this to say about this union: "He's my father married to my sister. That makes me his son and his brother-in-law. That is such a moral transgression. I cannot see him. I cannot have a relationship with my father and be morally consistent . . . I lived with all three adopted children, so they are my family. To say Soon-Yi was not my sister is an insult to all adopted children."
So how is this situation similar to that of the prophet of Islam, Muhammad? Let me 'splain.
Muhammad's first wife was Khadijah, a wealthy, older woman who took a fancy to Muhammad after he worked for her as a salesman and really raked in the shekels for her. Muhammad stayed married to her until she died--he only had her as his wife. Once she kicked, he went a bit viral on the women--but I'm getting a bit ahead of myself. I need to mention that Khadijah had a slave named Zayd whom she freed before she died and Muhammad adopted him as his son. In time, Zayd married Zaynab bint Jash, a pretty hot looking lady they say. One day Muhammad come calling on his son but he wasn't home. Guess who was--yes--Zaynab and she wasn't wearing her veil. Women without veils were akin to naked photos of Soon-Yi, making Muhammad even hotter than the desert sun was doing. On his way out the door he made a comment to Zaynab--we don't know exactly what it was, but I suspect something like, "You look hot." Well, Zaynab just couldn't keep a comment like that to herself and she ended up telling Zayd what his father said to her. Zayd recounted this to his dad, Muhammad, who said "keep her, she's yours." But Zayd thought about it and decided to divorce Zaynab so Dad could have her, which is what happened.
So how is this like Woody Allen? There's more . . .
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Muhammad marries Zaynab but now that Khadijah's gone, he decides, "Hey, why stop at one wife when I'm the prophet of Islam, peace be upon me, yo." So what does he do now that he's 50 years old and hot but not from the desert sun? He sees a 6 year old child named Aisha. She's playing with her dollies and something about her catches Muhammad's eye and tickles his fancy (he later tickles hers too). He asks Aisha's dad if he can marry the little girl and dad says "Sure, but can you hold off consummating the marriage?" So Muhammad, being who he is says, "Sure, I can wait." And he waits until Aisha is much older--9 to be exact--and you know what he does to her. Both Muhammad and Woody were no less than 3 full decades older than their wives, Woody 3 Muhammad 4 decades. Both men married women who, while not blood related, were at least spiritually related, which did not seem to bother either man. Both men were relatively neurotic and narcissistic and both men are registered Democrats--buzzungah--kidding, sorta.
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