Country Crooner Zach Bryan: From Navy Vet to Woke Whiner, Dodging the Bud Light Buzzsaw After ICE-Bashing Ballad Blowup

Oh, sweet land of liberty, where even the twangy troubadours gotta tiptoe around the thin blue line lest they end up crooning for crickets. Enter Zach Bryan, the Oklahoma-raised, Grammy-grabbing country sensation who's now sweating bullets faster than a steer at a branding iron, all because he dipped his cowboy boots into the anti-ICE swamp with a song snippet that's got his red-state fans fixing to rope, throw, and drag him into irrelevance.

Earlier this week over at RedState, Bryan teased fans with a gritty minute of his upcoming ditty "Bad News." And folks, in that hot second, he didn't just step in it, he belly-flopped. Picture this: lines slamming cops as "cocky motherf**k***s" while he wails about the "fading of the red, white and blue."

Fading? Listen up Bryan, with Trump back in the saddle nine months strong, Old Glory's shining brighter than a Fourth of July bottle rocket show. But no, his beef wasn't with the flag, it's the feds at ICE who got his panties in a twist.

Cue the chorus that's got conservatives (you know, the backbone of his beer-swillin' audience) hollerin' for a refund: "ICE gonna bust down your door / Try to build a house no one builds no more / But I got a telephone / Kids are all scared and all alone."

Talk about a tone-deaf hoedown. 

Now the only one's spooked is Bryan himself, scrambling to outrun the stampede of backlash before it turns him into the next Dixie Chicks footnote or Bud Light punchline. Dropping an Instagram Story plea headlined "pls f***n read this," our hero confesses he's "embarrassed" and straight-up "scared" over the uproar. But let's call this what it is: the classic "sorry you got your panties in a bunch" non-apology, where he points fingers at the pitchfork mob instead of his own half-baked haymakers.

"This song is about how much I love this country and everyone in it more than anything. When you hear the rest of the song, you will understand the full context that hits on both sides of the aisle," Bryan wrote. "Everyone using this now as a weapon is only proving how devastatingly divided we all are. We need to find our way back."

Yeah, Zach, maybe start that trail back by not demonizing the badge-wearin' good guys who are yanking kids out of cartel clutches and human-trafficker hellholes. Pot, meet kettle; you're the one slinging sob stories that paint ICE as the big bad wolf instead of the sheepdog. "I served this country, I love this country and the song itself is about all of us coming out of this divided space," Bryan said.

"I wasn't speaking as a politician or some greater-than-thou ahole, just a 29-year-old man who is just as confused as everyone else," he continued. "To see how much s* *t stirred up makes me not only embarrassed but kind of scared."

"Left wing or right wing, we're all one bird and American. To be clear, I'm on neither of these radical sides. To all those disappointed in me on either side of whatever you believe in, just know I'm trying my best too, and we all say things that are misconstrued sometimes."

Fair play, Chief, Bryan did put in his time, logging Navy stints in Bahrain and Djibouti before getting that honorable send-off to chase the honky-tonk dream. And credit where it's due: last year's Nebraska twisters had him out there with a shovel, no cameras crashing the cleanup party. The man's got a heart bigger than his hits sometimes.

Heck, who's to say the full track doesn't flip the script with a pro-ICE bridge, all kumbaya and balanced like a seesaw in a windstorm? Maybe that's the magic in the unreleased reel, bridging the chasm he’s so poetically pining over.

But spare us the "misconstrued" balderdash when your rap sheet reads like a greatest-hits of grievance. Remember that 2023 dust-up where he jawed back at the cops during an obstruction beef? Or how he wagged his finger at fans for "insulting transgender people" right as Bud Light was busy boycotting itself into the bargain bin? And don't forget the show-stopping scold on slinging F-bombs at Sleepy Joe: "I told people if I heard it, I would stop it immediately," Bryan told the New York Times. "Don’t come to my shows and start it."

So no cussin' the commander-in-misery at your gigs, but go ahead and belt out ballads about "cocky motherf*****s" in uniform. That isn't confusion, Zach; that's chasin' the coastal cachet while your heartland herd heads for the exits. Sing your truths, but don't cry foul when the echo bites back.

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U.S, troops at Syrian base hit by deadly drone attack

Six Kurdish soldiers were killed late Sunday at a base in eastern Syria where U.S. troops are stationed. The drone attack targeted a training ground at al-Omar base in Syria's eastern province of Deir el-Zour, the U.S.-backed Kurdish-led Syrian Democratic Forces (SDF) said in a statement on Monday.

According to the statement, the attack struck an area where the forces' commando units were being trained. No U.S. troops were killed or injured in the attack, they said.

This was the first attack in Syria or Iraq since the Biden administration launched a perfunctory response over the weekend against Iran-backed militias. Assaults on U.S. troops and civilians in the region has been going on since the outbreak of the October 7 Israel-Hamasshole war.

The SDF initially blamed "Syrian regime-backed mercenaries" for Sunday's attack, but after investigating the attack, they accused "Iran-backed militias." These militias aren't too worried that the U.S. will do anything too untoward in response because Biden has mumbled it nearly clear that he doesn't want to start a war and that his son died in both Iraq and Normandy, in 2014 and 1918 respectively.

The Islamic Resistance, an oxymoronically named [they're not resisting anyone, they're initiating the conflict] umbrella group of all Iran-backed Iraqi militias, claimed responsibility for the Sunday attack and released a video they claim showed them launching the drone used in the attack.

U.S. Central Command forces said Sunday they conducted a "self-defense" strike against a Houthi land attack cruise missile at approximately 5:30 a.m. Sanaa time. CENTCOM forces have their hands tied because the Biden administration will not meet aggression with a powerful response.

[Symbolically, if the Houthis was the guy on the beach who kicks sand in the face of the U.S., the latter would respond immediately with, "Please cut that out. You kicked sand in my face."]

Later, at approximately 10:30 a.m., U.S. forces struck four anti-ship cruise missiles in Houthi-controlled areas of Yemen, which they determined "presented an imminent threat to U.S. Navy ships and merchant vessels" in the Red Sea. The anti-ship missiles died in complete agony and promised never to blow up our vessels again.

Sunday’s strikes also came a day after the U.S. and U.K. launched a wave of strikes against 36 Houthi targets, meant to degrade their capabilities and tell them in no uncertain terms, "Hey, there you go again, kicking sand in our faces."

Houthi rebels rolled their shoulders, grabbed their nutsacks and vowed "escalation" in reaction to the strikes, with a spokesman for the group vowing to continue its own attacks "no matter the sacrifices it costs us."

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Still no apology: Anheuser-Busch blames mysterious ad agency for Dylan Mulvaney partnership

Still refusing to apologize to their customers (you know who you are, you fratty, out of touch men and women out there) Bud Light's parent company Anheuser-Busch is now pointing their manicured, nail polished fingers at a "third-party ad agency" for their partnership with misogynistic cross-dressing Dylan Mulvaney. 

The boycott butt-light Mulvaney inspired cost the woke company over $5,000,000,000 in losses.

But rather than saying "sorry," the company sought to distance itself from the backlash by announcing that they're cutting ties with the unnamed "third-party ad agency" responsible for the collaboration with the giggly not jiggly Audrey Hepburn wannabe. It's their attempt to make amends with vendors pissed off over the brand's ruined reputation and so far it isn't working.

Anheuser-Busch sent a letter to angry distributors claiming they fired the marketing firm [as opposed to firing Alissa Heinerscheid, the vp marketing executive who they 'put on leave'] that was responsible for the Mulvaney fustercluck. 

Mulvaney said he was sent a can of the brew with his face printed on it as part of an ad for the company's March Madness contest as a way to celebrate his full year of "girlhood." 

In the letter, the company reportedly claimed that the beer can at the center of the controversy with Mulvaney’s face was not produced by the Belgian-based company or in any of its facilities, blaming the ad agency entirely for the collaboration, distributors said. 

In other words, management has no idea what's going on within their own company, or are lying to us. Perhaps they're taking their cues from the same ad agency that's responsible for the new US Navy recruitment that features a drag queen sailor to enlist woke gay men.

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BAHDAHBING! Russian navy sinks warship--their own

If your memory sucks, you need to take notes and keep them handy--ask Joe Biden, he'll tell you [in a whisper]. In this case the Russian navy should have taken notes as to the whereabouts of their sea mines in the waters near Mariupol because one Russian naval captain did a Joe Biden and ran right into one of those babies in the Black Sea.

A landing craft is reported to have become scrap metal when it hit a Russian sea mine. The crew is said to have survived the incident, but let's face it, the Russian military commanders have become the Keystone Kopps of the Sea. If it isn't a missile doubling back on its launcher and making mince meat of the launch crew, it's the navy forgetting where they put their mines.

"Near Mariupol, a landing craft of the Black Sea Fleet D-106 blew up on a mine," a Telegram channel related to the Russian navy said.

'Waiting for a confirmation of this suicidal goodwill gesture,' said the Twitter account English Luhansk, mocking Russia's previous withdrawal statements.

Yes, it's a veritable clusterfrack, the likes of which should make Russian President Vladimir Putin put his shirt back on to hide his pectoral blush.

For Putin's part, he will probably tell the Russian press that it's a new high-speed submarine conversion system.

It looks like the Moskva, another Russian warship that went down April 14, will have company. That was the ship that approached Snake Island, told the Ukrainian military on the island to surrender and was told to "go f**k yourself" by the brave Ukrainians. 

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The one thing you can believe is to not believe one thing unless you painstakingly check it out and/or wait for more information.

But let's not kid ourselves--Ukraine is getting hurt and this war can drag on until drag is not longer being performed in libraries for children.

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Navy vet hit with more charges in ricin case

William Clyde Allen III, a 39-year-old Navy veteran, was arrested earlier this month after authorities intercepted envelopes containing ground castor beans addressed to President Trump. Federal prosecutors in Utah have also filed charges against Allen after intercepting additional letters that were addressed to FBI Director Chris Wray, Defense Secretary James Mattis, and Chief of Naval Operations Adm. John Richardson. Most recently, authorities intercepted envelopes that were addressed to CIA Director Gina Haspel and Air Force Secretary Dr. Heather Wilson.

Allen has pleaded not guilty to seven charges, including threatening to use a biological toxin as a weapon (castor beans are the basis for ricin, a highly deadly toxin) mailing a threat against the president and mailing threatening communications to an officer of the United States.

Allen also is alleged to have told investigators that he bought hundreds of castor beans on eBay to "defend our nation" if "World War III broke out." Yes, the country could count on him to save us.

All the letters tested positive for ricin but, fortunately, no one was hurt.

Allen served in the Navy from 1998 to 2002 and has a criminal record in Utah including attempted aggravated assault and child abuse.

To be fair, Allen also has a history of sending threatening emails to then-President Barack Hussein Obama, the U.S. Air Force and the state of Utah.

A judge denied Allen a request on Monday and decided to keep him in jail ahead of trial. He said he's needed at home to care for his wife who has a spinal condition and uses a wheelchair. She also has bad judgment as she married him.

Allen faces up to life in prison if convicted on the ricin charge. A count of mailing a threat against the president carries up to five years in prison, and five counts of mailing a threat to a U.S. officer are each punishable by a maximum of 10 years.

Allen's trial is scheduled to begin the day after Christmas. Hope he doesn't need to return any gifts.

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POTUS sending B-52s to S. Korea

U.S. military leaders are preparing to send B-52 Stratofortress bombers to the Korean peninsula as tensions mount after Kim (aka 'Lardbod') Jong Un carried out a series of missile launches in defiance of the weak-kneed United Nations.

The B-52 is a long-range, subsonic, jet-powered bomber capable of carrying 70,000 pounds of weapons and has a typical combat range of over 8,800 miles without aerial refueling. The current YB-52 has eight turboprop engines and was built to carry nukes for Cold War-era deterrence missions. Thus far, in combat, the B-52 has only dropped conventional (dumb bomb) munitions in combat. The official name Stratofortress is rarely used; informally it has become commonly referred to as BUFF, a military sobriquet whose last "F" cannot be printed here, but the first three letters in the acronym stand for "Big Ugly Fat".

"Uh oh"

Earlier this week, Corpulent Kim fired off four ballistic missiles into the seas less than 200 miles off Japan's coast. For this, President Trump is sending in B-1 and B-52 bombers to show he's fed up with Kim's shenanigans.

The annual Foal Eagle military exercises with U.S. and South Korean troops are currently taking place, another stern warning to Kim. About 300,000 South Koreans and 15,000 U.S. personnel are taking part in the operation.

Secretary of Defense James Mattis said the U.S. "remains steadfast in its commitment" to defend South Korea, according to Pentagon spokesman Navy Capt. Jeff Davis.

"He further emphasized that any attack on the United States or its allies will be defeated and any use of nuclear weapons will be met with a response that is effective and overwhelming," Capt. Davis said.

The Korean Times reports that the Trump administration is also expected to deploy a series of strategic assets from Guam and Japan. Also, the USS Carl Vinson, a Nimitz-class super-carrier will join the Foal Eagle exercise as it rendezvous from San Diego.

The USS Carl Vinson will carry 24 F/A-18 Super Hornet fighters, 10 air tankers, six SH-3H Sea King helicopters, four EA-6B Prowler jamming aircraft, 10 S-3 Viking anti-sub aircraft and four E-2 Hawkeye early warning aircraft.

It will be accompanied by the USS Lake Champlain (CG-57) a guided-missile cruiser, and two Arleigh Burke-class guided-missile destroyers.

The U.S. Marine Corps in Japan will deploy F-35B stealth fighters. 

"An F-35B is capable of evading anti-aircraft radar and making preemptive strikes," a military spokesman said.

According to Pyongyang's Korea Central News Agency, Kim has stressed "a need for preparation for a fight."

I don't think he'd get past the first minute of the first round.



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US Navy ship changes course

Strait of Hormuz -- Several fast-attack Iranian vessels of the Revolutionary Guard Corps came close to a U.S. Navy ship on Saturday and rather than blowing them out of the water, the U.S. ship changed course.

The official, speaking on condition of anonymity in spite of President Trump's admonishment of media who use anonymous sources to attack him, said the IRGCN boats came within 600 yards of the USNS Invincible, a tracking ship that wasn't, and stopped.

The Invincible was being accompanied by three ships from the British Royal Navy and the little dirtbags forced the formation to change course in a game the Iranians like to call Halal Chicken.

The official, who remains anonymous still, said the Navy vessel tried to contact the Iranians via radio, but they got no response and rather than kill every last one of them decided that discretion is the better part of valor as they put their wet tails between their legs and got out of the way.

But the Navy got the last laugh when they said the interaction caused by the Iranians was "unsafe and unprofessional."

That should make them think twice next time.

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Navy vet gets HS diploma at 90

He dropped out of high school to fight for his country in World War II after persuading his mother to allow him to enlist before he graduated. She agreed to let him go and he never looked back.

Lou Schipper became a US Navy Seabee in the Pacific and last Friday, he got his high school diploma at the tender age of 90.

"I could have become a high school grad sooner," Schipper told The Onion. "The thing was, I wasn't good at algebra so I kept skipping the final exams year after year. But I got disgusted with myself and said, 'Lou, you gotta do it this year. You gotta do it while you're still changing oxygen into carbon dioxide'--I was always good at biology. So I took the exam and boom, I'm a high school graduate . . . finally."

The graduation ceremony was held at a senior living residence in Cincinnati. 

Tony Schad, a representative from St. Xavier, began choking with emotion as he presented Schipper with his long overdue diploma.

"Mr. Louis Schipper, on behalf of your classmates from St. Xavier High School class of 1946, the faculty, staff and administration, I'm happy to officially welcome you to the long blue line, St. X," Schad said.

George Wood was an old classmate of Schipper's and told the school about him. "He was the only freshman in the class who was interviewed with callouses on his hands because that farm boy knew how to do a day's work," Wood told the media.

Dottie Schipper said that Lou was initially reluctant to get his diploma. "He said, 'What the hell do I need with a diploma? I'm 90 years old. Do you want me to get a resume and go to work now?'" she told the paper. "He didn't act like he was really excited, but he was really excited."

After the Navy discharged him, Schipper became an electrician making more money than most liberal arts college grads who majored in Bolivian Transgender Studies and the like. He worked until he was nearly 60.

Now the young 90-year-old would like to go to college and get a degree in "Micro-aggressions and How to Spot Them."

Yeah, sure he would.


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Trump invents a new word and accuses China of theft

As previously blogged, the Chinese Navy has literally stolen one of our underwater drones in the international waters of the South China Sea. President-elect Donald Trump weighed in on the situation Saturday.

He spoke of the seizure of the drone with a tweet that accused the Chinese of stealing it and ripping "it out of water." In the tweet, he creatively made up a new word in the English language: 'unpresidented.' No, he did not mean 'unprecedented,' he meant exactly what he created, 'unpresidented,' suggesting that never before had any president, nor president-elect have to deal with such blatant theft from another country.

Mr. Trump is asking that all Americans, everywhere, refuse to eat at Chinese restaurants until the drone is returned, and a heart-felt apology delivered by the Chinese government with a promise not to do it again.

China steals United States Navy research drone in international waters - rips it out of water and takes it to China in unpresidented act.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 17, 2016

The tweet was sent at around 7:30 a.m. Saturday. Due to pressure from his staff, he was forced to correct 'unpresidented' to 'unprecedented' in spite of his intention to create a new word in the English language.

Some see this latest outrage by the Chinese as one of the most significant disputes between our two countries. Others see it as yet another example of the impotence of a lame duck who the Chinese see as a Peking duck ready to hang in the window of a Mulberry Street restaurant window.



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Breaking: 10 U.S. sailors being held by Iran

Nine males and one female U.S. sailor are being "detained on Tuesday by Iranian Revolutionary Guard forces," according to FoxNews.com. The report they put out said that their boats apparently became disabled in the Persian Gulf, but this has not been confirmed.

The timing is perfect for the Iranians--President Obama is about to give his State of the Union speech outlining the wonderful job he has done over the past 7 years, but it looks like Iran has thrown in a monkey wrench to the gears of balderdash.

The original report said that the sailors would be released "promptly," but now Iran is saying that they want to wait until morning--they don't want to release them in the middle of the night. This must be in accordance with the Revolutionary Guard Union regulations stating that no Guard is to work beyond 5:00 p.m.

No surprise, Obama isn't arguing this detail and will wait. Kerry may or may not believe Iran, but he doesn't actually count.

This latest insult of our power by Iran occurred near Farsi Island in the Gulf. The Pentagon reports that one of the two small craft had mechanical trouble, which caused one or both to run aground. Iran then picked up the sailors and brought them to the island but their whereabouts is not known at this time.

The boats were moving between Bahrain and Kuwait when the trouble occurred and contact was lost with the crews.

Now is John Kerry's chance to shine. [LMAO]

Obama pom-pom girl, Jen Psaki, told reporters that the president will not be addressing this latest crisis because, she likely believes, it isn't a big deal like gun-control and stuff. The president will also not be addressing the other four hostages whose release he failed to negotiate for, but he will talk about his most excellent term in office.

If we're lucky, perhaps he'll shed another tear over gun control issues.

Fox News was told by a senior Obama official that Iran has assured the U.S. that the sailor's safety and well-being" is being attended to, and that they "will promptly be allowed to continue their journey," and they still want the $150 billion.


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Marines will hitchhike to the shores of Tripoli

We've hitched rides with the Russians to get into space because we've pretty much ended our government space program. Now we may need to have Uncle Sam's Misguided Children (USMC) hitch rides on foreign warships because our Navy has downsized due to budget cuts.

How utterly embarrassing.

What if the Marines needed to land on a beach somewhere, say in Iran, for example, and they hitched a ride with the French, for example. What if the French decided that, like my dear departed Uncle Harry, that they didn't want any trouble with Iran and refused to allow the Marines to land?  What would happen?

Of course, in Uncle Harry's case, he didn't want any trouble with New York City so he continued purchasing a yearly dog license for Parfait, his dead French poodle. The critter died when he accidentally walked it  into a moving car.

 He kept getting notices in the mail saying he needed to buy the damn license, so he did because he didn't want any trouble from city, as he said.

Uncle Harry was the family idiot, just like the Obama administration is the country's bumpkins.

Rep. Duncan Hunter, R-Calif., said that, "Ceding our amphibious ships to other countries--it's almost silly and I can't believe it is even an option for the Navy." Hunter was a Marine who served in Iraq, unlike President Obama who has no military or business experience and got elected because the country's voters wanted to be part of history by electing the first black, community organizer, socialist president. (The socialist part was only discovered after it was too late.)

"Now we are going to have to ask other countries, much less financially stable countries than America, to loan us their ships so that we can base our Marines on their ships. It's almost embarrassing."

Almost embarrassing? Almost silly? Hunter needs to can the qualifiers and say it like it is: it's damn silly and damn embarrassing to have to put out our hand for help to other nations.

The Navy, with its 30 amphibious transport ships, is 8 ships short of what they need if they need to deploy to North Africa. The way the current budget is written, by 2028 it still will not reach that number.

Even the left wing Democrats like Sen. James Webb, said that "We are a maritime nation, and we communicate across the world through our sea services, and . . . the size of the Navy right now is way too low."

Webb. like Hunter, was a Marine who served in Vietnam and was a decorated officer. He was appointed Navy secretary under Ronald Reagan and why he isn't a conservative is a mystery.

Marines have been shipboard since George Washington got his first wooden tooth and there are thousands at sea right now, ready to land on some beach, kick some ass and take dog tags.

Right now, the plan is to put 100 Leathernecks aboard allied warships, along with three or four Osprey tilt rotor aircraft.

I hope the Navy already asked what's left of our allies if this idea floats for them. I wonder if our allies even trust us anymore.




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Obama the Movie

Hasta la vista, baby--the immortal words of Arnold Schwarzennegger in Terminator Two, Judgment Day, may have been the catalyst that vaulted him into politics as governor of California. They may have even been the words that Maria Shriver said to him when he was outed as the father of his housekeeper's child. Who knows? What's important is that the media has incalculable power to influence the masses and people like Barack Hussein Obama know this.  Of course, anyone who can be influenced by a movie without really knowing the facts, is gullible or simply wants to be influenced.


A movie is being made about the heroic Navy SEALs operation that took down Osama bin Laden at his complex in Abbottabad, Pakistan. This movie is scheduled for release on October 12, 2012, just weeks before the presidential election in which the hero of the movie, Barack Hussein Obama, will be vying for re-election and will somehow be depicted as the mastermind of the mission. Anyone in the movie industry would tell you it's virtually impossible to predict the release of a movie so far in advance, so it's without question that this is a political propaganda movie for Obama, and it's shameful--a strong president would not have waited 16 hours before giving the "go ahead," as Obama did--they may have waited 16 seconds. He is indecisive, fearful of making obvious mistakes, and shows us that he lacks true leadership.  He leads from his behind.

But if you remember the photograph of the administration in the war room, when Obama, Clinton, Biden, and the military leaders of the operation were watching what enfolded, you might recall our mousey president sitting like a child after an adult told him to eat his peas.  Joe Biden, a man you will never run into at a Mensa meeting, looked more presidential than Obama, and Hillary looked like she was the person in charge.  Yet somehow I know that Obama is going to be depicted like JFK in the movie PT 109.  JFK, who had a new prostitute to quench his sexual thirst, almost every night, and whose drug habit would have put him in prison if he weren't the president. The real stories are never told. It's the men you don't hear about who are the real heroes 99% of the time. The men who do the actual fighting, who risk their lives, and who quietly accept their heroism because they believe defending America is more important than personal accolades.


And what about the "kill photos" of Osama bin Laden? We were not allowed to see these photos because this may have angered the Islamic world, and we never want to anger or offend these people because that would justify them killing you and your children and you wouldn't be allowed to say anything about it because you would be wrong since you asked for it by angering them in the first place. 

But if Obama doesn't want to show us the kill photos, why is he having a movie made about the kill? Wouldn't that really piss off a bunch of imams and their loyal terrorists? Wait . . . I just realized why he'd make the movie--he would do or say anything, break promises, sell out his friends, lie, cheat, and probably kill, just to get re-elected to a job that he has taken that has proven the merits of the Peter Principal.


The most frightening thing about this movie is that it just might work to get our worst president re-elected. People need heroes and Obama will play one in this movie--at least an actor playing Obama. I hope they can find someone who is both eloquent and stupid at the same time, having big ears to listen, but never does.

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