Trump Warns Iran That Every Attacked Ship Means One Destroyed Bridge Or Power Plant

In a clear and direct ultimatum President Donald Trump announced on Wednesday that the United States will respond to every Iranian attack on ships in the Strait of Hormuz by bombing one Iranian bridge or power plant.

Targets near or inside Tehran itself are now on the table according to the president.

Trump’s post read: “From this point forward, any time the Islamic Republic of Iran shoots at a ship in the Strait of Hormuz, whether it be by Missile, Rocket, Drone, or any other device or weapon, the United States will bomb and destroy ONE BRIDGE OR POWER PLANT, including those located next to, or in, the Capital City of Tehran,”

The warning came after the United States finished its eleventh straight night of strikes against Iranian military sites and facilities.

Diplomatic efforts have produced no visible progress while Iran keeps attacking ships and keeps the crucial waterway largely closed. Those of us who know about taqiyya are not at all surprised. Iran has been stalling for time and have no intentions of curtailing their nuclear ambitions.

That strait once carried a fifth of the world’s traded oil and gas during normal times. Iranian leaders may soon find themselves short on bridges to cross rivers and short on power plants to keep the lights on.

Trump has simply spelled out the price of continued aggression in terms even the regime in Tehran should understand. This approach marks a sharp break from the endless talks and empty warnings that achieved nothing in the past.

Unfortunately, I believe it's highly unlikely Iran will end the hostilities. Terrorists in suits are still terrorists and will never change.

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Civilization Is Once Again Asked Whether Aggression Carries Consequences

Two American service members were killed Saturday in an Iranian strike on Jordan, according to U.S. Central Command. A third American remains missing. It is a grim reminder that the Iranian regime continues to conduct itself as it has for decades, treating violence not as a last resort but as a preferred instrument of statecraft.

These are the first confirmed American combat fatalities resulting from Iran's attacks on Jordan this week. Four additional U.S. troops were evacuated to Jordanian hospitals for treatment and have since been released. CENTCOM stated that the names of the fallen will not be released until 24 hours after their families have been notified.

The attacks extend well beyond Jordan. In recent days, Iran has struck America's partners throughout the region. Kuwait reported that an Iranian attack hit a power generation and water desalination facility, igniting a fire and forcing critical infrastructure offline. A child in Qatar was injured by shrapnel. Bahrain also came under attack. This is not the behavior of a nation seeking stability. It is the behavior of a revolutionary regime that has spent decades exporting instability wherever it can.

The United States has responded by intensifying strikes against Iranian military targets, particularly around Bandar Abbas, the regime's principal strategic port on the Strait of Hormuz. The city is not merely a commercial center. It houses Iran's naval headquarters and serves as a vital hub for the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps and the regime's military operations.

CENTCOM also confirmed the destruction of the surveillance tower at Chah Bahar Shahid Kalantari Port on July 16, an installation with clear operational significance.

"The destruction of the tower directly degrades IRGC’s ability to coordinate attacks on innocent civilian crew members," CENTCOM said.

The statement reflects a simple military reality. Modern conflicts are won not only by destroying weapons but by dismantling the command structures that direct them. Surveillance and communications infrastructure are force multipliers. Removing them limits an adversary's ability to wage war.

Secretary of War Pete Hegseth reinforced that message by sharing images of American troops and declaring that "Iran does not control the SoH," referring to the Strait of Hormuz.

Meanwhile, the consequences of the conflict are increasingly being felt inside Iran itself. Reports indicate that the regime's Energy Ministry has instructed residents to reduce electricity consumption during peak hours after attacks on energy facilities disrupted the power grid across southern provinces. As so often happens under authoritarian governments, ordinary citizens are left to bear the costs of decisions made by leaders who remain insulated from the suffering they create.

The latest escalation follows Tehran's announcement that it would no longer honor its interim peace agreement with the United States. That decision has brought predictable consequences. History offers few examples of regimes abandoning diplomatic commitments while simultaneously escalating military aggression without inviting a forceful response.

President Trump summarized the strategic dilemma in stark terms during a July 14 interview.

"The only way you can negotiate with these people is through strength," Trump said. "And the only strength is military strength."

Whether one agrees entirely with that formulation or not, recent events have reinforced an uncomfortable truth. Peace cannot be sustained by wishful thinking alone. It requires the credible willingness to confront those who believe violence carries no meaningful cost.

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POTUS warns that starting tonight, Iran can expect shock and awe

The game is over. The talks are done. It is time to clean up the mess, or at least try to, because negotiations with what is left of the Iranian Revolutionary Guards have been a total failure. It is not shocking. These are terrorists and you can trust them like you can trust the scorpion carrying a frog across the stream.

After weeks of messing around with whatever is left of Iran’s government, Trump said enough. He ordered new airstrikes, a complete blockade, and announced that the United States will now charge tolls for passage through the Strait of Hormuz.

On July 13, 2026, during an interview with Hugh Hewitt on Salem Radio, the President said the U.S. would strike Iran hard that night and the next day. Media outlets and commentary have framed his remarks using the dramatic phrase “hell will rain down” or “all hell will rain down,” echoing similar tough rhetoric he has used before regarding Iran.

Trump stated: “We’re going to hit Iran very hard tonight and we're going to hit them hard tomorrow, and there's not a damn thing they can do about it.”

He described the Iranian regime and remnants of the Revolutionary Guards as “stone-cold crazy people,” “cuckoo,” “sleaze bags,” and “extremely unreliable.” He noted that a prior memorandum of understanding or test deal had failed because Iran did not honor it. He also referenced watching Iran’s nuclear situation closely and mentioned the possibility of striking sites like “Pickaxe Mountain,” a fortified underground complex near Natanz.

The U.S. has been conducting airstrikes on Iranian military targets. U.S. Central Command reported that a third consecutive night of strikes began at 4:45 p.m. ET on July 13, targeting Iranian forces to degrade their capabilities. Over 300 targets have reportedly been hit in recent days.This follows the breakdown of an earlier ceasefire reached around April to June 2026.

Trump has said the ceasefire is over. Key flashpoints include control of the Strait of Hormuz, Iranian actions against shipping, and concerns over Iran’s nuclear program and regime behavior.Trump notified Congress of the new military actions. Additional measures include a U.S. blockade of the Strait of Hormuz and charging tolls for passage.This fits a pattern of escalatory warnings from Trump throughout 2026.

In April 2026 he issued 48-hour deadlines tied to reopening the Strait of Hormuz. In June 2026 he warned that “all hell will rain down” if Iran pursued nuclear weapons during ceasefire talks. Strikes are already underway as of the evening of July 13.

The situation remains fluid, with ongoing military action, negotiations reportedly continuing in some form, and high tensions over energy routes and regional stability. Oil prices and markets have been volatile amid the developments.For the most up-to-date official information, check sources like White House statements, CENTCOM releases, or major news outlets. Developments can change quickly in this conflict.

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Trump Announces America Will Start Collecting Toll Booth Money From World's Most Expensive Shipping Lane

WASHINGTON, D.C. — After spending weeks reminding Iran that the U.S. Navy is considerably larger than a collection of speedboats with delusions of grandeur, President Donald Trump has apparently decided it's time for the rest of the world to start chipping in [see NATO].

Why should American taxpayers foot the bill for keeping one of the planet's most important shipping lanes open while everyone else sails through like it's Costco handing out free samples?

On Monday, Trump announced that the United States will begin charging a 20% fee for cargo passing safely through the Strait of Hormuz while officially resuming America's blockade of Iran. The message was simple: if Uncle Sam is providing the security, Uncle Sam expects to see the receipt.

Trump explained the new arrangement on Truth Social, the baby brother of X.

"The Hormuz Strait is OPEN, and will remain OPEN, with or without Iran. We are reinstating the THE IRANIAN BLOCKADE, so named because it is only stopping Iran’s ships or customers from entering or leaving. All other countries will have fair and open use of the Strait."

That distinction is important. According to Trump, the blockade isn't aimed at the rest of the world's commerce. It's aimed squarely at the regime that keeps trying to turn international waterways into its own personal hostage situation.

He then unveiled what might be history's first "Freedom Isn't Free" surcharge for global shipping.

"The U.S.A. will be, from this point forward, known as 'THE GUARDIAN OF THE HORMUZ STRAIT,' [aka GOTHS] but as such, and as a matter of FAIRNESS, will be reimbursed, at the rate of 20% on all cargo shipped, for any and all costs necessary to do the job of providing safety and security to this very volatile section of the World. The process and formation will begin immediately."

Some foreign governments reportedly reacted with horror after learning that military protection, unlike climate conferences, does not come with unlimited complimentary snacks.

Meanwhile, economists spent the day debating the long-term implications of a global toll booth, while American taxpayers reportedly asked the obvious question: "Wait, we're actually making other countries pay for something instead of us?"

Iran condemned the announcement as illegal, provocative, and deeply unfair, which is roughly the diplomatic equivalent of a shoplifter complaining about anti-theft cameras.

At press time, sources said the first cargo ship entering the Strait had been greeted by a U.S. sailor holding what looked suspiciously like an EZ-Pass scanner and asking, "Cash, card, or freedom?"

UPDATE: The following day, Trump did a reverse on the 20% toll, so forget the above.

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Iran attacks commercial vessels in the Strait of Hormuz, US strikes back once again

Iran appears determined to test President Donald Trump's patience, and the U.S. military responded accordingly, as in shock and awe, Saturday night.

U.S. Central Command announced that American forces launched a third round of strikes against Iran after accusing the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps of attacking a commercial vessel transiting the Strait of Hormuz. The latest escalation follows repeated warnings from Washington that attacks on civilian shipping would carry serious consequences.

According to CENTCOM, the IRGC targeted the Cyprus-flagged M/V GFS Galaxy, leaving one civilian crew member missing. The attack also sparked an onboard fire and caused extensive damage to the engine room, forcing the ship to abandon its voyage.

The strikes came as Tehran once again declared the Strait of Hormuz effectively closed after a vessel traveling what Iranian officials described as an "unauthorized route" was hit with a warning shot. That declaration only adds to growing concerns over the security of one of the world's most important maritime trade routes.

CENTCOM noted that Iran had been given another opportunity to comply with the Islamabad Memorandum of Understanding after previous attacks on commercial shipping but "has again failed." The military said the latest strikes were designed to further degrade Iran's ability to threaten civilian mariners and disrupt international commerce.

The operation was carried out at the direction of President Trump, whose administration has made clear that freedom of navigation through the Strait of Hormuz is not open for negotiation. U.S. officials continue to monitor Iran's response while maintaining an elevated military posture throughout the Middle East.

At this stage, the administration appears to be following a familiar strategy: respond with force when Iran escalates, while leaving the door open for Tehran to reverse course. Whether Iran's leadership chooses deterrence over further confrontation remains the question.

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IRGC Boldly Warns World to Stay Out of Its Strait of Hormuz, Denounces Big Bad American 'Adventurism'

AI generated

TEHRAN—In what military analysts are calling "peak Persian tough-guy theater," the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps took to the airwaves Thursday morning to flex its nautical muscles over the Strait of Hormuz, reminding everyone that the world's most critical oil chokepoint now belongs to them and their speedboats.

Iran’s Revolutionary Guards Navy warned Thursday that foreign powers have “no stake” in the Strait of Hormuz and said U.S. involvement in determining traffic routes through the key waterway would draw a “crushing response.”

In a statement, the IRGC Navy accused Washington of “adventurism and interference” as tensions rise over commercial shipping in one of the world’s most important oil corridors. Because nothing says "legitimate maritime power" like a theocratic regime that treats international waters like its personal driveway.

American bases in the region would be targeted if what the IRGC called “U.S. aggression” is repeated, according to state media. This threat lands with all the intimidating force of a guy yelling at clouds while hiding behind his mullah.

The IRGC also claimed Iran had increased vessel transit through the strait over the past two weeks, but said recent U.S. actions had seriously disrupted the process of reopening the route. Transit capacity under Iran's supervision had recovered to about 50% of pre-war levels over the past two weeks, the IRGC claimed, adding that transit capacity was only being expanded for vessels granted permits to use routes designated by Iran. Translation: "Please ignore the burning tankers and our history of piracy. We're very good at this."

The warning comes as the U.S. and Iran trade strikes and threats over maritime security in the Gulf, with Washington saying its military operations are aimed at protecting commercial vessels and civilian mariners. You know, that crazy outdated concept called "freedom of navigation" that used to matter before we decided strong countries aren't allowed to act strong anymore.

Tehran has since taken effective control of the strait, allowing it to force a stalemate in its confrontation with the world's most powerful military. Nothing quite like a regime that can't feed its own people lecturing the U.S. Navy on naval strategy."The U.S. has yet to learn that bullying and breaking its commitments no longer come without a cost. Let me be clear: If you strike, you will be struck back," Iran's top negotiator, Mohammad Baqer Qalibaf, wrote Wednesday night on X."The Strait of Hormuz will be reopened only under Iranian arrangements, not through U.S. threats."

Meanwhile, the U.S. military continues polishing its very large arsenal, wondering if the mullahs have ever seen what happens when America stops pretending these threats are serious.

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Iran attacks commercial ships in Strait of Hormuz, US launches 'powerful strikes' in return

The world's leading sponsor of "peace through someone else's surrender" has once again discovered that attacking international shipping comes with consequences.

On Tuesday, the U.S. Central Command (CENTCOM) announced that American forces had begun delivering what can only be described as a long overdue reality check to Iran after the regime attacked commercial vessels carrying innocent civilian crews in one of the world's most important waterways.

Apparently, the mullahs mistook American restraint for weakness. That tends to happen right before they learn the difference and experience an FAFO alert.

"U.S. Central Command forces have begun launching a series of powerful strikes against Iran to impose heavy costs for targeting and attacking commercial shipping crewed by innocent civilians in an international waterway," CENTCOM wrote on X. "The U.S. strikes are in response to Iranian attacks on three commercial vessels that were transiting the Strait of Hormuz."

It turns out that when President Donald Trump says freedom of navigation matters, he is not talking about a strongly worded letter or another United Nations group therapy session. He's talking about making sure terrorists and rogue regimes understand that attacking civilian shipping is not a risk free hobby.

CENTCOM left little room for diplomatic spin.

"Iran’s demonstrated aggression was unwarranted, dangerous, and a clear violation of the ceasefire."

Imagine that. Iran agreed to a ceasefire and then violated it. Who could have possibly predicted such an unprecedented plot twist, besides everyone who has watched the regime operate for the past four decades?

The message from Washington appears refreshingly simple. If Iran wants to menace international commerce and threaten innocent lives, America is fully capable of introducing the regime to the bill for its behavior. 

Free passage through the Strait of Hormuz remains a vital American interest, and under Trump, those who threaten it should not expect another lecture. They should expect consequences.

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Iran Tells America to Stop Being Mean Before It Agrees to Another Deal

Araghchi gets caught picking nose, pretends to be scratching it

One of the more amusing traditions of modern diplomacy is watching the world's leading state sponsor of terrorism lecture the United States about proper etiquette. It is a bit like being scolded on table manners by a burglar climbing through your kitchen window.

Iranian Foreign Minister Abbas Araghchi took to X on Tuesday to announce that "negotiations on a final deal will not commence" if the United States continues making military threats. Apparently, the regime that has spent decades funding terrorist proxies, chanting "Death to America," and pursuing regional domination has suddenly become very sensitive about harsh language.

Araghchi insisted that "Para 13 of the Memorandum of Understanding (MoU) is clear. Negotiations on final Deal (sic) will not commence if threats continue."

Then came the wonderfully indignant command: "Honor your signature."

There is something almost poetic about hearing representatives of the Islamic Republic lecture America about honoring agreements. This is, after all, the same regime that has treated international commitments as Dad jokes whenever they stood in the way of its ambitions. But now Washington is expected to speak softly while Tehran pockets concessions.

Paragraph 13 of the memorandum states that the United States and Iran are committed to implementing a ceasefire, lifting the blockade of the Strait of Hormuz, waiving sanctions, and unfreezing restricted assets before broader negotiations begin.

It adds, "The United States of America and the Islamic Republic of Iran will start negotiations regarding the final deal exclusively on the other paragraphs."

The timing of Araghchi's warning was hardly mysterious. He appeared to be responding to President Donald Trump's remarks on Monday when Trump reminded Tehran that America still possesses both patience and overwhelming military power that can 'bomb the crap' out of Iran if we so choose.

"We're going to make a deal, or we're going to finish the job," Trump said.

That is called leverage. It is also what happens when the world's strongest military negotiates with a regime that has spent years mistaking Western weakness for virtue.

Araghchi attempted to project confidence by declaring, "Millions of proud Iranians rallied in unity to honor Grand Ayatollah Khamenei and his legacy. Neither they nor our Brave Armed Forces are moved by any threats."

U.S. Democrat mourns Khamenei's untimely death from above

Governments that are truly unafraid rarely feel compelled to announce it. History has a funny way of exposing the difference between confidence and propaganda.

America should remember a lesson that has too often been forgotten. Peace is preserved not by pretending tyrants are misunderstood partners. Peace comes when America's adversaries understand that our promises mean something, our patience has limits, and our strength is more than a talking point. 

If Tehran finds that intimidating, perhaps the problem is not the tone coming from Washington. Perhaps it is finally realizing that the era of endless American apologies has come to an end. 

The reality is that while the regime leaders and the IRGC continue to turn oxygen into carbon dioxide, this conflict will never end. 

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Iran Declares World's Busiest Shipping Lane Now Subject to "Supreme Leader's HOA Rules"

Iran's ruling mullahs apparently woke up Sunday and decided that one of the world's most important shipping routes now belongs to them.

An Iranian lawmaker announced that Tehran intends to keep a firm grip on the Strait of Hormuz, confidently informing the rest of the planet that everyone else will simply have to obey. It is the diplomatic equivalent of the neighborhood bully claiming ownership of the public sidewalk.

"We unequivocally support the ever-victorious Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps' decisive action against the American enemy and the assertion of Iranian sovereignty over the Strait of Hormuz," Ebrahim Rezaei, spokesperson for the Parliament's Foreign Policy and National Security Commission, wrote in a post on X.

Apparently, "ever-victorious" now means repeatedly picking fights with countries that possess aircraft carriers, stealth bombers, and a habit of responding when provoked.

Rezaei doubled down on the fantasy by declaring, "The Strait of Hormuz will not return to its previous state, and others have no choice but to submit to Iran's directives in the Strait."

The statement was widely interpreted as Iran's version of posting a handwritten "My Pool, My Rules" sign on an international waterway.

The bravado came after President Donald Trump warned on June 27 that the U.S. military would "complete the job" if Tehran failed to honor the ceasefire agreement. History suggests that when Trump starts talking about "completing the job," Iranian officials suddenly become very interested in underground architecture.

The interim Memorandum of Understanding between Tehran and Washington includes provisions governing the Strait of Hormuz intended to guarantee toll free passage for commercial vessels during a 60 day period.

Whether Iran plans to honor that agreement or simply continue issuing royal decrees over waterways it doesn't own remains to be seen. Fortunately for the world's shipping industry, international law has traditionally carried a little more weight than an angry post on X.

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Trump Gives Iran One Last Chance to Stop Poking the Bear Before Bear Remembers It's a Bear

The Iranian regime apparently mistook a ceasefire for a free trial of consequence free terrorism.

Moments after President Donald Trump hinted that Tehran might soon discover what "find out" really means, the United States Central Command announced a round of precision strikes against Iranian military targets. Somewhere in Tehran, government officials were reportedly shocked to learn that repeatedly launching attack drones at cargo ships is not considered a recognized form of diplomacy.

According to CENTCOM, "U.S. aircraft struck Iranian missile and drone storage locations and coastal radar sites after Iran hit M/V Ever Lovely on June 25 with a one way attack drone. The Singapore flagged cargo ship was exiting the Strait of Hormuz along the Omani coast at the time of Iran’s attack."

Apparently the ayatollahs interpreted "ceasefire" to mean "fire a little less often."

"The unwarranted aggression against commercial shipping by Iranian forces clearly violated the ceasefire. Furthermore, Iran’s dangerous behavior undermined freedom of navigation as commerce increasingly flows through the vital international trade corridor," the statement continued, adding that the American "military remains present and vigilant to ensure all aspects of the agreement with Iran are adhered to, obeyed, and in full force and effect."

In other words, we wrote the rules down. Iran immediately tried eating the rulebook.

CENTCOM also emphasized that American forces continue escorting commercial vessels through the Strait of Hormuz while making sure Iran remembers that agreements generally work better when both sides pretend to follow them.

Trump appeared thoroughly unimpressed by Tehran's latest performance.

"Well, you'll find out," he told reporters in the Oval Office after an event highlighting the Trump administration's Religious Liberty Commission report.

"I don't like the fact that they took a shot yesterday, actually four, we knocked down three at a ship, not an allied ship, but a ship, a very expensive ship, and it was fine, but it took a little beating. They shouldn't be doing that, so you'll find out," he added.

For students of Trump diplomacy, "you'll find out" ranks somewhere between "wrong move" and "FAFO" on the international relations scale.

Earlier Friday, Trump posted on Truth Social that the attack amounted to "a foolish violation of our Ceasefire Agreement."

"The Islamic Republic of Iran shot at least four One Way Attack Drones at Ships transversing the Strait of Hormuz," he wrote. "One of the Drones solidly hit the upper deck of a large and very expensive Cargo Carrying Ship. Damage was done, but the Ship was able to proceed on its way. We knocked down three other Drones."

The strikes came only days after Washington and Tehran signed a memorandum of understanding intended to cool tensions. Iran celebrated the agreement by immediately testing whether anyone had actually read it.

Following a meeting with Republican senators earlier this week, Trump sounded optimistic about negotiations.

"Iran is being very nice they're agreeing to everything I want, and they have to. Otherwise we just go back and do what we have to do."

As it turns out, "what we have to do" was not left open to much interpretation.

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Trump Declares Victory, Then Offers Iran a Shopping Spree

President Donald Trump has apparently discovered a bold new doctrine of foreign policy. First, bomb the regime into next Tuesday. Then invite it to become America's newest agricultural customer.

Speaking Thursday evening during a dinner with American farmers in the White House Rose Garden, Trump insisted America now holds all the cards.

"We knocked the hell out of them, and now we're negotiating from a position of pure strength," Trump said. "Pure strength. They know that."

Nothing says "maximum pressure" quite like immediately sitting down at the bargaining table with the people you just spent weeks calling the world's leading state sponsors of terrorism.

Trump assured supporters that Iran is desperate. "They want to make a deal with us very badly," he said.

Perhaps, or perhaps Tehran has simply learned that Washington has an irresistible habit of declaring military victories before offering diplomatic consolation prizes.

The president again promised that Iran would never be allowed to acquire nuclear weapons.

"They will not have a nuclear weapon," Trump said. "And they've agreed to that." [LOL]

That's encouraging. Of course, Iran has agreed to plenty of things over the last twenty years, usually right before inspectors discover another suspicious facility buried under a mountain.

Trump also celebrated that the Strait of Hormuz remains open, a welcome development after weeks of global concern over shipping lanes.

Then came the sales pitch.

According to President Trump, Iran could soon become a lucrative export market for American farmers. His administration, he said, would use Iranian money to purchase "wheat, soybeans and corn" as the Islamic Republic struggles with food shortages.

Conservatives who applauded a hard line against the ayatollah may be wondering exactly when "America First" became "Ayatollah Approved Farm Subsidy Program."

For years Republicans argued that every sanctions waiver, every cash infusion, and every economic lifeline merely helped keep the regime alive. Now the pitch appears to be that the mullahs can skip straight from "Death to America" chants to filling shopping carts with Midwestern grain. 

Holy moley.

It's an unusual negotiating strategy. Win the fight. Declare overwhelming strength. Then reward the losing side with access to American markets.

The only people happier than Iran's negotiators might be the State Department officials who suddenly discovered that "maximum pressure" apparently includes a frequent buyer discount.

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Trump Grants Iran 60-Day Oil Hall Pass After Regime Promises To Behave This Time

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a heartwarming display of international trust rarely seen outside kindergarten classrooms, the Trump administration announced Monday that it will temporarily allow Iran to produce and sell oil after the Islamic regime reportedly promised to keep its hands to itself and play nicely in the Strait of Hormuz.

Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent revealed that the administration has issued a 60-day license authorizing Iranian oil sales while negotiators work toward a broader peace agreement. Officials expressed cautious optimism that a government famous for sponsoring terrorism, threatening its neighbors, and chanting "Death to America" may finally be turning over a new leaf.

“In line with the ongoing productive talks in Switzerland, Iran has committed to free and open transit in the Strait of Hormuz and to permit International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) inspectors into their country,” Bessent wrote on X.

Diplomats reportedly celebrated the breakthrough after Iran allegedly looked everyone directly in the eye and promised it was being totally serious this time.

“As part of the framework, Treasury has issued a temporary 60-day general license authorizing the production, delivery, and sale of Iranian oil,” he continued.

To ensure the arrangement remains above board, the license specifically prohibits buyers in North Korea, Cuba, and Crimea from purchasing Iranian oil, effectively preventing what experts described as "the world's least trustworthy governments from forming an even more suspicious customer loyalty program."

Vice President JD Vance said the negotiations successfully established a mechanism to keep the Strait of Hormuz open and prevent disagreements from spiraling into a larger conflict.

Administration officials praised the agreement as a significant diplomatic achievement, noting that if all goes well, future negotiations could include additional confidence-building measures such as Iran pinky-swearing not to build nuclear weapons and signing a note promising not to fund terrorist proxies during recess.

At press time, international observers reported that several barrels of Iranian oil had already begun flowing toward global markets while diplomats eagerly waited to see whether the phrase "trust but verify" could survive another encounter with the Iranian regime.

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Trump Announces Free Trial of Strait of Hormuz, Says Subscription Fees May Begin Later

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump shocked international bureaucrats, energy traders, and several confused college professors Saturday by announcing that there will be absolutely no tolls charged in the Strait of Hormuz during the current 60-day ceasefire with Iran.

"There will be NO TOLLS in the Hormuz Strait for 60 days during the Cease Fire Period," Trump wrote on Truth Social, immediately triggering panic among global elites who had already prepared seventeen think tank papers explaining why America should continue protecting international shipping lanes for free forever.

Trump later clarified that tolls would also remain off the table after the ceasefire ends unless negotiations collapse, at which point the United States may decide it would like to receive something in return for safeguarding one of the most dangerous waterways on Earth.

And the chance that the negotiations will not collapse is about the same as getting hit by a freight train in Antartica on a Sunday.

The president explained that any future tolls would simply reimburse America for decades of acting as the Middle East's unpaid security guard, babysitter, emergency response team, and occasional missile interceptor.

"Imagine expecting your neighbor to mow your lawn, fix your roof, guard your house, and fight off burglars for fifty years without ever sending a bill," said one administration official. "Actually, don't imagine it. That's basically been U.S. foreign policy."

Trump emphasized that any future tolls would reimburse America for decades of serving as the Middle East's unpaid "Guardian Angel." Administration officials clarified that this does not mean original Guardian Angels founder Curtis Sliwa will be stationed in the Strait of Hormuz armed with a whistle, a flashlight, and an overwhelming sense of civic duty.

The Strait of Hormuz remains one of the world's most critical shipping chokepoints, handling a substantial portion of global oil exports. Experts noted that without American protection, many nations would be forced to confront the terrifying possibility of paying for their own security.

At press time, several European leaders were reportedly drafting a strongly worded statement demanding that American taxpayers continue funding global stability while being accused of imperialism for doing so.

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Hezbollah Shatters Ceasefire Within Hours, Confirming the Nature of the Conflict

There are moments in the Middle East when reality cuts through diplomatic fantasy with remarkable speed. The latest ceasefire between Israel and Hezbollah appears to be one of them.

Less than a day after a ceasefire agreement was announced, Hezbollah launched more than 50 projectiles at Israeli Defense Forces personnel operating in southern Lebanon. According to the IDF, the attack constituted a "blatant ceasefire violation," exposing once again the gulf between international hopes for peace and the conduct of an Iranian-backed terrorist organization that has repeatedly demonstrated its contempt for such agreements.

Israel responded by targeting Hezbollah operatives and infrastructure throughout southern Lebanon, including rocket launch positions, weapons depots, and command centers. The IDF emphasized that it remains committed to the ceasefire while making clear that it will continue to "remove any threat posed to the State of Israel and IDF soldiers."

The episode raises an obvious question that far too many observers continue to avoid: what exactly is a ceasefire worth when one side regards it as a tactical inconvenience rather than a binding commitment?

Israel's Arabic-language military spokesperson, Col. Ella Waweya, stated that calm could be restored if Hezbollah ceased its hostile activities and stopped violating existing agreements. She noted that Israel's security presence in southern Lebanon is intended to dismantle terrorist infrastructure and eliminate threats to Israeli citizens, not to target civilians.

Yet Hezbollah's own statements leave little room for ambiguity. Earlier Saturday, the organization acknowledged targeting Israeli soldiers and declared that it would "not hesitate to confront any attempt by Israel to seize land in Lebanon" despite claiming a continued "commitment to the ceasefire."

The contradiction is revealing. One cannot simultaneously violate a ceasefire and profess fidelity to it. Yet this sort of doublethink has become commonplace among groups that understand that much of the international community is willing to overlook actions that would be condemned without hesitation if carried out by a democratic state.

A senior Hezbollah official told Reuters that the group would not allow Israel "freedom of movement" in what it described as "occupied Lebanese territory." Such rhetoric is familiar. It serves not as a path toward stability but as a justification for perpetual confrontation.

Meanwhile, the Lebanese Army accused Israel of carrying out "brutal attacks" designed to prevent stability from returning to Lebanon. The statement, posted on social media, claimed Israeli operations had caused casualties, property damage, and the death of a Lebanese soldier.

This narrative has become equally familiar. Hezbollah launches attacks. Israel responds. International attention then shifts rapidly from the original act of aggression to criticism of the Israeli response. The sequence repeats so often that many observers no longer seem to notice it.

Lebanon's state news agency reported that at least ten people were killed in Sidon following Israeli airstrikes targeting multiple sites in southern Lebanon. As always in such conflicts, the human cost is tragic, yet any serious discussion of that cost must begin with the organization that chose to violate a ceasefire almost immediately after it took effect.

The broader regional implications are equally concerning. Iranian officials reportedly linked their decision to close the Strait of Hormuz to developments in Lebanon, while Iran's General Staff threatened missile strikes against Israel if what it called Israeli "aggression against Lebanon continues."

Such threats underscore the reality that Hezbollah is not merely a local Lebanese actor. It remains a central component of Iran's regional strategy, operating as an extension of Tehran's influence and military ambitions.

The ceasefire itself had only just been announced. An Israeli source confirmed that an agreement had been reached between Israel and Hezbollah, while a senior American official told Reuters that the arrangement would take effect Friday afternoon. According to reports, American and Qatari negotiators helped broker the deal with assistance from Iran.

Whether that agreement survives Hezbollah's actions is now an open question.

What is not in question is the lesson once again provided by events on the ground. Peace agreements can be signed in conference rooms, celebrated in diplomatic circles, and praised by international mediators. But they remain meaningless if one side views them as optional.

As an IDF spokesperson observed Friday, "Recent events have made one thing clear: IDF soldiers must stand between Hezbollah and Israeli civilians."

The events of the past twenty-four hours have done little to challenge that assessment.

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Iran Mines Own Nuclear Site So Nobody Can Steal Uranium It Definitely Wasn’t Using For Nukes

TEHRAN, IRAN-- Authorities in Iran reportedly collapsed tunnels and planted mines around their bombed Isfahan nuclear complex this week in what officials described as “a completely peaceful effort” to stop American troops from confiscating uranium the regime insists is only intended for “totally normal civilian apocalypse prevention.”

According to intelligence sources cited by CNN, the Iranian regime deliberately turned the nuclear site into a live-action level of Call of Duty after President Donald Trump reportedly considered sending in forces to seize Tehran’s stash of highly enriched uranium.

Analysts say the move has complicated negotiations between Iran and the United States, mainly because it’s difficult to verify nuclear material when it’s buried beneath several tons of rubble, land mines, and decades of Islamic revolutionary paranoia.

“The fate of the enriched stockpile is one of the key issues in an emerging potential deal between Iran and the US to end the war,” officials confirmed, apparently while trying not to laugh at the phrase “potential deal with Iran.”

Former nuclear official Scott Roecker warned that the regime could now conveniently claim some uranium is impossible to recover.

“If negotiators ‘require that Iran bring the entire stockpile to a central location for verification and ultimately to remove or downblend the material,’ that would place the onus on Tehran to access and ‘provide the full inventory’ of enriched uranium,” Roecker told CNN.

But, “in this scenario, I would worry that Iran would claim that some portion of the HEU was irretrievable,” Roecker said. “We wouldn’t have full confidence that Iran couldn’t retain access to it at some point in the future.”

Experts say this would mark the first time in history Iran has hidden something underground and then acted shocked when nobody trusted them.

Meanwhile, a U.S. official insisted the developing agreement “leads to” Washington obtaining Iran’s enriched uranium stockpile.

“We provide in the agreement that this material would be destroyed on site, and then taken out of the country,” the official said, in comments interpreted by Tehran as “quick, hide the glowing barrels.”

Iran continues to deny it seeks nuclear weapons despite enriching uranium to near weapons-grade levels while regularly chanting for the destruction of Israel, threatening America, and behaving exactly like every Bond villain nation ever written.

Last month, an Israeli military official warned that failing to recover the uranium would make the entire war “one big failure,” a statement immediately condemned by Western academics who clarified that the real failure would be hurting the feelings of Iran’s Supreme Leader.

The broader conflict has already rattled global markets after Iran blockaded the Strait of Hormuz and began harassing commercial shipping while charging tolls like a heavily armed E-ZPass lane run by jihadists.

In response, the U.S. blockaded Iranian oil exports, causing panic among European leaders who briefly considered switching from electric vehicles back to bicycles and emotional support candles.

The U.S. military also announced Saturday that American forces had “downed” several Iranian drones targeting commercial ships in the Strait of Hormuz.

“Iran launched multiple one-way attack drones in an attempt to strike commercial ships transiting the Strait of Hormuz,” U.S. Central Command posted on X.

CENTCOM further insisted that the strait “remains open for transit,” provided ships don’t mind dodging missiles, drones, mines, pirate states, and CNN fact-checkers, which is an oxymoron.

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Trump Blasts Iranian Media Reports, Tells Tehran To Get Its Act Together Or Else

President Trump listens in the Oval Office of the White House on June 11, 2026. (Jacquelyn Martin/AP)

President Donald Trump on Friday ripped Iranian media reports about a potential deal to end the war, adding that the regime in Tehran better “get their act together.”

“The terms that Iran leaked out to the Fake News have NOTHING to do with the terms that were agreed to, in writing. What they said, including their weak and pathetic statement on having a deal, bears no relation to the truth,” Trump wrote on Truth Social.

“Very dishonorable people to deal with. With them, there is no such thing as dealing in good faith. AMAZING! Also, their totally rebuffed Drone attack last night against Indian Ships leaving the Hormuz Strait is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE. They better get their act together, and FAST!” he added.

In classic form, the ayatollahs’ state-run propaganda machine immediately began leaking terms that sounded suspiciously like they came from a regime that still thinks it’s 1979 and Jimmy Carter is in charge. Iranian state media earlier Friday shared purported details of the possible memorandum of understanding that could be signed with the U.S., according to Reuters.

It cited the IRNA news agency as saying that under the agreement, Iran would make no commitment regarding the transfer of the management of the Strait of Hormuz.

Instead, the future administration of the Strait reportedly would be decided through dialogue and joint decision-making between Iran and Oman, a country in close proximity to the area.

The IRNA news agency added that discussions about the future of Iran’s nuclear program would take place within a 60-day period after the agreement is signed, Reuters added.

Of course, because nothing says “peace deal” like letting the world’s leading sponsor of terrorism keep control of the most important oil chokepoint on Earth while they quietly restart their nuclear hobby in the background. 

Trump, never one to suffer fools or mullahs gladly, made it crystal clear that America isn’t falling for the same old sand-dune shenanigans. The mullahs can either shape up, or the deal is deader than their economy under decades of glorious revolutionary management.

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Trump Pauses Iran Strikes, Believes A Deal is Imminent

WASHINGTON, D.C. — After spending the morning threatening to turn Iran’s military infrastructure into a parking lot, President Trump abruptly announced Thursday afternoon that peace was back on the menu and the whole thing was “all wrapped up,” proving once again that Middle East diplomacy now operates like a New York real estate negotiation conducted entirely through Truth Social posts.

“We have a deal,” Trump reportedly told aides moments after allegedly green-lighting, canceling, then re-green-lighting a plan to seize Iran’s Kharg Island before finally deciding he preferred making headlines instead.

“Based on the fact that discussions with the Islamic Republic of Iran have been brought to the highest level of Iranian leadership and approved, I have, as President of the United States of America, cancelled the scheduled strikes and bombings against Iran this evening,” Trump posted on Truth Social.

“Discussions and final points have been, in both concept and great detail, approved by all parties involved, including the United States, Israel, Saudi Arabia, UAE, Qatar, Turkey, Pakistan, Bahrain, Kuwait, Jordan, Egypt, and others.”

Sources inside Washington confirmed several Pentagon officials were informed of the cancellation only after seeing the president’s post sandwiched between advertisements for gold coins and pillows.

The agreement reportedly includes reopening the Strait of Hormuz, renewed nuclear negotiations, and what experts are calling “the annual Middle East ceasefire that lasts somewhere between four hours and two weeks.”

“It’s pretty much all wrapped up,” Trump told The Post in a phone call that insiders say lasted roughly the same amount of time as one of his golf putts.

The sudden diplomatic breakthrough came just hours after Trump warned Iran he would strike them “VERY HARD TONIGHT” and floated plans to take over Kharg Island and “assume total control of their Oil and Gas Markets.”

“At some point in the not too distant future, we will be taking Kharg Island, and other oil infrastructure points, and assume total control of their Oil and Gas Markets, much like we have with Venezuela,” Trump wrote earlier Thursday morning, causing cable news producers nationwide to begin hyperventilating into paper bags.

Trump later explained that conquering the island remained his preferred option.

“We ⁠are talking ⁠to them, and all, but you know, ⁠look, my preference has always been — take ⁠Kharg Island … my preference would be that,” he said on “Fox and Friends.”

“⁠I don’t know that America has the stomach for it.”

Political analysts immediately translated the statement to mean, “Trump still wants the win, but he also remembers Americans get cranky when their sons are deployed to defend democracy in places they can’t find on a map.”

Meanwhile, Iran appeared to respond to the agreement with the traditional diplomatic strategy of denying the agreement exists at all.

“An informed source told FNA Iran has not approved any draft agreement or initial memorandum with the US, contradicting President Donald Trump’s claim that Tehran agreed to a finalized text,” Iran’s Fars News Agency posted to X.

Observers noted this marks approximately the 38th time Trump has declared an Iran deal “close,” though supporters insist that unlike previous administrations, at least this time America bombed something before negotiating.

At press time, CNN was reportedly preparing a seven-part special explaining why peace in the Middle East is actually bad news for democracy.

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