Trump Declares Victory, Then Offers Iran a Shopping Spree

President Donald Trump has apparently discovered a bold new doctrine of foreign policy. First, bomb the regime into next Tuesday. Then invite it to become America's newest agricultural customer.

Speaking Thursday evening during a dinner with American farmers in the White House Rose Garden, Trump insisted America now holds all the cards.

"We knocked the hell out of them, and now we're negotiating from a position of pure strength," Trump said. "Pure strength. They know that."

Nothing says "maximum pressure" quite like immediately sitting down at the bargaining table with the people you just spent weeks calling the world's leading state sponsors of terrorism.

Trump assured supporters that Iran is desperate. "They want to make a deal with us very badly," he said.

Perhaps, or perhaps Tehran has simply learned that Washington has an irresistible habit of declaring military victories before offering diplomatic consolation prizes.

The president again promised that Iran would never be allowed to acquire nuclear weapons.

"They will not have a nuclear weapon," Trump said. "And they've agreed to that." [LOL]

That's encouraging. Of course, Iran has agreed to plenty of things over the last twenty years, usually right before inspectors discover another suspicious facility buried under a mountain.

Trump also celebrated that the Strait of Hormuz remains open, a welcome development after weeks of global concern over shipping lanes.

Then came the sales pitch.

According to President Trump, Iran could soon become a lucrative export market for American farmers. His administration, he said, would use Iranian money to purchase "wheat, soybeans and corn" as the Islamic Republic struggles with food shortages.

Conservatives who applauded a hard line against the ayatollah may be wondering exactly when "America First" became "Ayatollah Approved Farm Subsidy Program."

For years Republicans argued that every sanctions waiver, every cash infusion, and every economic lifeline merely helped keep the regime alive. Now the pitch appears to be that the mullahs can skip straight from "Death to America" chants to filling shopping carts with Midwestern grain. 

Holy moley.

It's an unusual negotiating strategy. Win the fight. Declare overwhelming strength. Then reward the losing side with access to American markets.

The only people happier than Iran's negotiators might be the State Department officials who suddenly discovered that "maximum pressure" apparently includes a frequent buyer discount.

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