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Oh, sweet land of liberty, where even the twangy troubadours gotta tiptoe around the thin blue line lest they end up crooning for crickets. Enter Zach Bryan, the Oklahoma-raised, Grammy-grabbing country sensation who's now sweating bullets faster than a steer at a branding iron, all because he dipped his cowboy boots into the anti-ICE swamp with a song snippet that's got his red-state fans fixing to rope, throw, and drag him into irrelevance.
Earlier this week over at RedState, Bryan teased fans with a gritty minute of his upcoming ditty "Bad News." And folks, in that hot second, he didn't just step in it, he belly-flopped. Picture this: lines slamming cops as "cocky motherf**k***s" while he wails about the "fading of the red, white and blue."
Fading? Listen up Bryan, with Trump back in the saddle nine months strong, Old Glory's shining brighter than a Fourth of July bottle rocket show. But no, his beef wasn't with the flag, it's the feds at ICE who got his panties in a twist.
Cue the chorus that's got conservatives (you know, the backbone of his beer-swillin' audience) hollerin' for a refund: "ICE gonna bust down your door / Try to build a house no one builds no more / But I got a telephone / Kids are all scared and all alone."
Talk about a tone-deaf hoedown.
Cue the chorus that's got conservatives (you know, the backbone of his beer-swillin' audience) hollerin' for a refund: "ICE gonna bust down your door / Try to build a house no one builds no more / But I got a telephone / Kids are all scared and all alone."
Talk about a tone-deaf hoedown.
Now the only one's spooked is Bryan himself, scrambling to outrun the stampede of backlash before it turns him into the next Dixie Chicks footnote or Bud Light punchline. Dropping an Instagram Story plea headlined "pls f***n read this," our hero confesses he's "embarrassed" and straight-up "scared" over the uproar. But let's call this what it is: the classic "sorry you got your panties in a bunch" non-apology, where he points fingers at the pitchfork mob instead of his own half-baked haymakers.
"This song is about how much I love this country and everyone in it more than anything. When you hear the rest of the song, you will understand the full context that hits on both sides of the aisle," Bryan wrote. "Everyone using this now as a weapon is only proving how devastatingly divided we all are. We need to find our way back."
Yeah, Zach, maybe start that trail back by not demonizing the badge-wearin' good guys who are yanking kids out of cartel clutches and human-trafficker hellholes. Pot, meet kettle; you're the one slinging sob stories that paint ICE as the big bad wolf instead of the sheepdog. "I served this country, I love this country and the song itself is about all of us coming out of this divided space," Bryan said.
"I wasn't speaking as a politician or some greater-than-thou ahole, just a 29-year-old man who is just as confused as everyone else," he continued. "To see how much s* *t stirred up makes me not only embarrassed but kind of scared."
"Left wing or right wing, we're all one bird and American. To be clear, I'm on neither of these radical sides. To all those disappointed in me on either side of whatever you believe in, just know I'm trying my best too, and we all say things that are misconstrued sometimes."
Fair play, Chief, Bryan did put in his time, logging Navy stints in Bahrain and Djibouti before getting that honorable send-off to chase the honky-tonk dream. And credit where it's due: last year's Nebraska twisters had him out there with a shovel, no cameras crashing the cleanup party. The man's got a heart bigger than his hits sometimes.
Heck, who's to say the full track doesn't flip the script with a pro-ICE bridge, all kumbaya and balanced like a seesaw in a windstorm? Maybe that's the magic in the unreleased reel, bridging the chasm he’s so poetically pining over.
But spare us the "misconstrued" balderdash when your rap sheet reads like a greatest-hits of grievance. Remember that 2023 dust-up where he jawed back at the cops during an obstruction beef? Or how he wagged his finger at fans for "insulting transgender people" right as Bud Light was busy boycotting itself into the bargain bin? And don't forget the show-stopping scold on slinging F-bombs at Sleepy Joe: "I told people if I heard it, I would stop it immediately," Bryan told the New York Times. "Don’t come to my shows and start it."
So no cussin' the commander-in-misery at your gigs, but go ahead and belt out ballads about "cocky motherf*****s" in uniform. That isn't confusion, Zach; that's chasin' the coastal cachet while your heartland herd heads for the exits. Sing your truths, but don't cry foul when the echo bites back.
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"This song is about how much I love this country and everyone in it more than anything. When you hear the rest of the song, you will understand the full context that hits on both sides of the aisle," Bryan wrote. "Everyone using this now as a weapon is only proving how devastatingly divided we all are. We need to find our way back."
Yeah, Zach, maybe start that trail back by not demonizing the badge-wearin' good guys who are yanking kids out of cartel clutches and human-trafficker hellholes. Pot, meet kettle; you're the one slinging sob stories that paint ICE as the big bad wolf instead of the sheepdog. "I served this country, I love this country and the song itself is about all of us coming out of this divided space," Bryan said.
"I wasn't speaking as a politician or some greater-than-thou ahole, just a 29-year-old man who is just as confused as everyone else," he continued. "To see how much s* *t stirred up makes me not only embarrassed but kind of scared."
"Left wing or right wing, we're all one bird and American. To be clear, I'm on neither of these radical sides. To all those disappointed in me on either side of whatever you believe in, just know I'm trying my best too, and we all say things that are misconstrued sometimes."
Fair play, Chief, Bryan did put in his time, logging Navy stints in Bahrain and Djibouti before getting that honorable send-off to chase the honky-tonk dream. And credit where it's due: last year's Nebraska twisters had him out there with a shovel, no cameras crashing the cleanup party. The man's got a heart bigger than his hits sometimes.
Heck, who's to say the full track doesn't flip the script with a pro-ICE bridge, all kumbaya and balanced like a seesaw in a windstorm? Maybe that's the magic in the unreleased reel, bridging the chasm he’s so poetically pining over.
But spare us the "misconstrued" balderdash when your rap sheet reads like a greatest-hits of grievance. Remember that 2023 dust-up where he jawed back at the cops during an obstruction beef? Or how he wagged his finger at fans for "insulting transgender people" right as Bud Light was busy boycotting itself into the bargain bin? And don't forget the show-stopping scold on slinging F-bombs at Sleepy Joe: "I told people if I heard it, I would stop it immediately," Bryan told the New York Times. "Don’t come to my shows and start it."
So no cussin' the commander-in-misery at your gigs, but go ahead and belt out ballads about "cocky motherf*****s" in uniform. That isn't confusion, Zach; that's chasin' the coastal cachet while your heartland herd heads for the exits. Sing your truths, but don't cry foul when the echo bites back.
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