Showing posts with label Sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sex. Show all posts

Saturday, February 17, 2024

MN school district excuses Muslim families from LGBT lessons, for some reason



Not all in this post is true and should be taken with a grain of sodium chloride.

A Minneapolis area school district will allow Somali Muslim families to opt out of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) lessons, in part, because the families threatened to sue the district, and in part because they likely fear serious "repercussions," if you know what I mean.

The families said their elementary school children were exposed to LGBT characters.

The St. Louis Park Public School District said it will allow families to pull their kids out of reading books with LGBT themes such as women having sex with women; men having sex with men; men or women having sex with men or women, depending on their mood; and mentally ill gender dysphoric individuals who don't believe they are the gender in which they were born.

Somali Muslim families had threatened to sue the district, alleging that not allowing families to opt out potentially violates the Constitution and state law. Other families who did not opt out their kids are too stupid to know better.

On November 2, the families’ attorneys sent the district a letter explaining Islamic teachings around gender and sexuality and outlining the timeline of parents’ complaints about the LGBT books. It did not go into detail as to what Islam says must be done to lesbians and gays, such as kill them on the spot or simply allow them to jump from a very high place.

Some of the families’ elementary school children had been exposed to LGBT characters in picture books, which caused “significant confusion and distress,” the families’ letter said. 

Back in October, several St. Louis Park elementary schools reportedly introduced a number of LGBT books, “Our Subway Baby,” which is about two men who adopt a baby, “My Shadow Is Pink,” which is about a boy who wears dresses, and “Ho’onani: Hula Warrior,” which is about a young Hawaiian girl who wants to lead a boys hula team.

Parents claimed that they had requested their children be opted out of reading these books, but two transgender elementary school principals, Principal Honey Heather and Fanny Fani, refused.

Books such as "Billy's Penis Is Gone, Now He Is Mary," or "My Batteries Are Low and So Am I," were not part of the curriculum but may be considered in the future.


Saturday, March 11, 2023

Devout Catholic/Presbyterian/Doctor/First Lady wears Rosary while promoting abortions to Kenyans



Our "devout Catholic in Chief" Joseph Robinette Biden, has been the most pro-abortion, kill babies wherever you find them, and pro-LGBTQ+1 POTUS ever to sit [or things that rhyme with sit] in the Oval Office. And his highly decorated wife, the honorable and devout Catholic/Presbyterian/Doctor/First Lady holds the same anti-Catholic, anti-human life, pro-lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender [aka gender dysphoria], queer, plus one [whatever that is] values.

You honestly cannot make this stuff up. 

The Bidens practice of their version of Catholicism is worse than blowing one's nose in the Pope's Zucchetto on Easter Sunday in the Vatican and flipping it into the congregation like a frisbee. 

But to Joe's credit, he wasn't getting it on with a young aide in the Oval Office and stuffing a ballot box with a cigar. Sure, he was sniffing the hair of young girls and whispering things in their young ears, and he even admitted that he likes it when children sit in his lap, but other than that, he's almost a saint.

Doctor Biden was raised a Presbyterian, but she soon caught on with the Catholic-ish shtick hubby Joe does and now regularly attends Mass with her veggie at her side.

In Doctor Jill's memoir, crayoned in 2019, she wrote that  “traveling to Italy and being in a country closely tied to the family’s Catholic religion was an escape and a comfort.”

Last week in Kenya, Doctor Catholic Jill Biden wore rosary beads like a necklace, which is like treating the Virgin Mary like an accessory. Wearing rosary beads is unusual and is rather disrespectful but it's possible Doctor Jill didn't know that since she's Presbyterian.  

So what does the wife of the US President do when she's in Kenya? She went a-lecturing and spoke down to the people about artificial methods of contraception, which is contrary to conception, the latter being what Catholics support while fully against the former, but maybe she didn't study that in Doctor School.

“As part of her five-day trip to Namibia and Kenya last week, Biden participated in multiple events pertaining to the ’empowerment of women and youth,’” LifeSite News reported on Feb. 27th.

“On Saturday the First Lady stopped by the Shujaaz Konnect Festival in Nairobi, Kenya, where she dropped in on a watch party for ‘MTV Shuga,’ an African drama series that aims to promote ‘sexual and reproductive health and rights.'”

“According to press pool notes compiled by Washington Post reporter Jada Yuan, the Rosary-sporting Biden commended Kenyan youth attending the festival for their willingness to learn about and discuss ‘safe dating and safe sex.'”

As opposed to the tenets of Christian faith as well as the Jewish religion which only supports sex in the bonds of matrimony. 

Even religious Presbyterians know that. 


Saturday, January 1, 2022

AOC believes the public wants to sex with her

AOC flips off reporters with wrong finger

Alexandria Occasionally-Creepy (Socialist-NY) went on Twitter and claimed that Republican men find her so attractive that they want to date her and stuff, but Democratic men would rather Jeffrey Toobin and Brian Stelter, if you know what I mean. 

AOC may have been fishing for confirmation about her narcissistic claim from Republican men, but instead she only received a reality check: Republican men don't find 'stupid' sexy, which is why Jeffrey Toobin and Brian Stelter.

The nasal-voice socialist economics "genius" got roasted on social media after she was photographed in Miami, Florida while her city's COVID count surged in New York City. Former Trump adviser Steve Cortes, gave his input about AOC's boyfriend and his happy sandals. 

Her reply was epic and shows just how her shallow mind works:

"If Republicans are mad they can’t date me they can just say that instead of projecting their sexual frustrations onto my boyfriend’s feet," she inexplicably suggested. "Ya creepy weirdos." 

So her assuming that because one person commented on her boyfriend's footwear, that the rest of the Republican men in America are angry that we can't date her? What, is she nuts?

 Next she added, "It’s starting to get old ignoring the very obvious, strange, and deranged sexual frustrations that underpin the Republican fixation on me, women,& LGBT+ people in general. These people clearly need therapy, won’t do it, and use politics as their outlet instead. It’s really weird."


AOC does her hot, hot number 

Let me repeat myself: is she nuts? Her thinking is coming from within herself because she doesn't seem to know any actual Republicans in any meaningful way. And worse, she really thinks it's obvious how we feel about her sexually. As Billy Shakespeare once said, "Methinks she thinks too much," or something like that. 

Mary Katherine Ham, the one actual conservative on the Children's Neverland Network (CNN) sarcastically said: "I relate to AOC. Literally every criticism of me boils down to people being disappointed they can’t have sex with me. It is indeed a burden, but one we must bear." 

Even former "The View" co-host Meghan McCain got in a dig on the bubble-brain bozo: "This whole thing just seems bizarrely anti- feminist. So, anytime women's political choices are criticized we can just say it's because people want to sleep them? Can't we just disagree with your tax/climate/mask policies without being involved in this weird sex narrative?" she asked, and then deleted it.

"When we weaponise our sexuality to defend our personhood it’s just as easy for our sexuality to immediately be weaponised against us to deny our personhood. A dicey game," journalist Eve Barlow wrote. She had also written on Friday, "AOC is really out here on the last day of the year pulling the people-disagree-with-me-cos-im-hot … card. Pretty much sums up 2021."

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Of course she had her defenders, but those are probably the actual people who want to have sex with her or her boyfriend or both.

But at least AOC was able to have fun in Florida, go mask-less and drink to the point that her boyfriend's feet looked okay.

Happy New Year, guys! Thanks for reading Brain Flushings.



Saturday, October 10, 2020

Louisiana archbishop orders alter removed and burned after "demonic" sex act


New Orleans -- A priest allegedly participated in a sex act with two women on the altar of a church. The archbishop of New Orleans called the defiling of the alter a "demonic" act and ordered the altar to be removed from the church and burned.

A Louisiana lawyer representing the two women who allegedly engaged in two-on-one sex with the priest was okay with the sex act but called the actual arrest "appalling," implying that lawyers, like politicians, will say anything if it helps their cause.

“The fact that this involved a priest or took place in a church is completely irrelevant,” clueless secular attorney Bradley Phillips said, as reported by the New Orleans Advocate. 

The women, Mindy Dixon, 41, and Melissa Cheng, 23,  were accused of having sex with the then-Rev. Travis Clark, 37, in Pearl River, northwest of New Orleans.

“I understand that people may be upset by this situation, but that does not make this conduct illegal or criminal in any way,” the lawyer added, leaving off the tidbit that the church is considered public since the altar where the act allegedly took place can be seen from outside the church, which would therefore make it illegal. Public sex is illegal except in the case of dogs and other lower animals who often engage in public sex because they are animals.

A witness called police Sept. 30 after seeing Father Clark through a window in the Saints Peter and Paul Roman Catholic Church. He was in a state of almost buck nakedness on the altar, authorities have said. 


The earthly representative of the Lord was evidently getting it on with two high-heeled, corseted women while he was partially dressed in priestly attire.

The witness became suspicious when the church lights remained on late at night. He recorded the incident for his personal use later, and showed it to police.

The three were later arrested on obscenity charges for having sex within view of the public because the altar can be seen through windows and glass doors.

The threesome had set up stage lighting and appeared to be recording the encounter on a cell phone, according to the New Orleans Advocate.

Phillips said the only pertinent question was “if it took place in view of the public. Clearly, that is not the case,” only in the eyes of G_d, and anyone who looked through the windows.

New Orleans Archbishop Gregory Aymond, meanwhile, said Friday that he had burned the altar (where the alleged threesome took place) to restore its sanctity.

"His desecration of the altar was demonic," Aymond said, referring to Clark, according to the Catholic News Agency. "I am infuriated by his actions. When the details became clear, we had the altar removed and burned. I will consecrate a new altar tomorrow."

“I share your anger and feelings of betrayal,” Aymond added in a video statement. “We have many good priests, and I regret that they are embarrassed by the actions of a few.”

The priest and the women were arrested on obscenity charges. All three plan, upon their release, to vote for Joe Biden.


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Sunday, March 22, 2020

NYC Coronavirus Sex Guide is seriously funny


I don't know about you guys, but my wife and I are disappointed that the New York City Sex Guide written by a free spirit of the city government only wants us to have sex with ourselves, alone, or only with members of our own household.

Just kidding--this guide is a joke but it wasn't supposed to be. 

The advisory guide goes into some detail of the best practices for sex during the current pandemic and really seems to encourage masturbation, but warns that you should wash your hands after you're done doing the knuckle shuffle.

"You are your safest sex partner," the guide reads.

The city strongly urges people to consolidate their partners, thus they should sleep only with the people that live in your house. It says nothing about people who use their home as an Airbnb.

Additionally, it warns against "mouth to anus" action and recommends using condoms [aka: "wearing a raincoat in the shower"] during sex and oral sex, which isn't sex according to Bill Clinton.

Below is the guide. After you read it, I recommend you wash your hands.

Sex and Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19)
All New Yorkers should stay home and minimize contact with others to reduce the spread of COVID-19.
But can you have sex?
Here are some tips for how to enjoy sex and to avoid spreading COVID-19.
1. Know how COVID-19 spreads.
  • You can get COVID-19 from a person who has it.
    o The virus can spread to people who are within about 6 feet of a person with COVID-19 when that person coughs or sneezes.
    o The virus can spread through direct contact with their saliva or mucus.
  • We still have a lot to learn about COVID-19 and sex.
    o COVID-19 has been found in feces of people who are infected with the virus. o COVID-19 has not yet been found in semen or vaginal fluid.
    o We know that other coronaviruses do not efficiently transmit through sex.
    2. Have sex with people close to you.
  • You are your safest sex partner. Masturbation will not spread COVID-19, especially if you
    wash your hands (and any sex toys) with soap and water for at least 20 seconds before
    and after sex.
  • The next safest partner is someone you live with. Having close contact — including sex
    — with only a small circle of people helps prevent spreading COVID-19.
  • You should avoid close contact — including sex — with anyone outside your household. If you do have sex with others, have as few partners as possible.
  • If you usually meet your sex partners online or make a living by having sex, consider taking a break from in-person dates. Video dates, sexting or chat rooms may be options for you.
    3. Take care during sex.
  • Kissing can easily pass COVID-19. Avoid kissing anyone who is not part of your small circle
    of close contacts.
  • Rimming (mouth on anus) might spread COVID-19. Virus in feces may enter your mouth.
  • Condoms and dental dams can reduce contact with saliva or feces, especially during oral
    or anal sex.
  • Washing up before and after sex is more important than ever.
    o Wash hands often with soap and water for at least 20 seconds.
The NYC Health Department may change recommendations as the situation evolves. 3.21.20

o Washsextoyswithsoapandwarmwater.
o Disinfect keyboards and touch screens that you share with others (for video chat, for
watching pornography or for anything else).
4. Skip sex if you or your partner is not feeling well.
  • If you or a partner may have COVID-19, avoid sex and especially kissing.
  • If you start to feel unwell, you may be about to develop symptoms of COVID-19, which
    include fever, cough, sore throat or shortness of breath.
  • If you or your partner has a medical condition that can lead to more severe COVID-19,
    you may also want to skip sex.
    o Medical conditions include lung disease, heart disease, diabetes, cancer or a
    weakened immune system (for example, having unsuppressed HIV and a low CD4 count).
    5. Prevent HIV, other sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unplanned pregnancy.
  • HIV: Condoms, pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) and having an undetectable viral load all
    help prevent HIV. For more information, visit nyc.gov/health and search HIV.
  • Other STIs: Condoms help prevent other STIs. Visit nyc.gov/health and search STIs.
  • Pregnancy: Make sure you have an effective form of birth control for the coming weeks.
    Visit nyc.gov/health and search birth control.
    For more information about COVID-19, visit
    nyc.gov/coronavirus.
The NYC Health Department may change recommendations as the situation evolves.  


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This is what you get when you have Bill de Blasio as your mayor.


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Thursday, June 13, 2019

Men who support abortion are deadbeat males

When a man impregnates a woman [because transgender men can't], and suggests she kill the unborn baby, it's most often due to his unwillingness to bear his responsibilities that come after helping to create that life. The woman, on the other hand, most often wants to kill the unborn baby because he or she poses an inconvenience on her lifestyle.

Now comes the doublespeak.

Rep. Norma Torres (D-CA) implied in a speech in the House of Representatives on Wednesday that Republican men who oppose abortion do so because they are "sex-starved males."

She could not offer any proof for this non sequitur because it seems as if the opposite is more likely than her conclusion. Sex-starved males would more likely support a procedure that would allow them to have sex, accidentally impregnate their partner, and be able to waltz away after the mother of their child killed the baby. Men who oppose abortion and are willing to help raise the child seem less sex-starved and more adult in the matter.

Roll Call reported that "Torres, one of the newest members of the House Rules Committee, clearly broke House Rules — members cannot personally impugn their colleagues on the floor. The abortion fight came amid routine debate on a rule for further amendment consideration of a four-bill appropriations package. Work on amendments was set to drag into the wee hours, and final passage isn’t expected until next week."

"Mr. Speaker, it is tiring to hear from so many sex-starved males on this floor talk about a woman’s right to choose," Torres improperly said.

Rep. Rob Woodall (R-GA) called out Torres for her obtuse remark. He addressed her in a polite manner and asked if she would change what she said. "Mr. Speaker, I would just like to ask my friend if she would like to change her last statement."

Torres replied: "Mr. Speaker, if it pleases my colleague on the other side, I will withdraw my statement about sex-starved males on the floor."

"I will put it in different terms, it is tiring to be here on this floor or in committee as a woman — to continue to be counseled about what types of affordable — whether it is family planning conversations that rightfully I deserve to have with my own doctor, choosing when women want to have a family and to avoid pregnancies before they become pregnancies," Torres continued. "It is unfortunate that, that is something that continues to be denied to American women day in and day out on this floor."

The issue isn't about what is being denied to American women, it is what is being denied the unborn.

Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL) responded to Torres' comments on Twitter:
"Wasn’t it the left that called for a #SexStrike? @Alyssa_Milano? Now pro-life men are accused of being 'sex-starved' on the floor of Congress? So weird. How about we just secure the border instead? #OpenGaetz."
Interestingly, according to The Daily Caller, a study found that Republicans actually have sex more often than Democrats, so about those sex-starved Republicans, it looks like Torres got it wrong even in that respect.


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Thanks





Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Hillary allegedly paid for illicit sex with men AND women


The National Enquirer in an incredible 9-page report, sparked by a former Clinton family operative, claims that Hillary Clinton is a "secret sex freak who paid fixers to set up illicit romps with both men AND women."

Holy carp fish, Batman--I knew it, I knew it! I see the way she and Huma eyeball each other.

The former family operative is breaking ranks with Bill and Kill, his one-time bosses, and divulged:"I arranged a meeting for Hillary and a woman in an exclusive Beverly Hills hotel," the man said. He was hired by the Clintons through a Hollywood executive, to cover up their scandals.

"She had come to the studio to see the filming of a movie in 1994," he said. "While I was there, I helped her slip out a back exit for a one-on-one session with the other woman. It was made to look casual, leaving quietly [rather] than being caught up in the melee . . . but really it was for something presumably more sordid."

But the man claimed that it wasn't only with women that he helped "fix" for her. The former fixer-upper confessed to The Enquirer that he helped her to cover up her affair with married lover Vince Foster.

Hillary apparently redefines the notion of "pay to play."

I don't generally believe The National Enquirer reportage, but I find this kind of behavior from Hillary Clinton too credible not to believe may have occurred. But the idea of Hillary having sex with anyone, male or female, makes me throw up in my mouth.



Monday, January 26, 2015

Kobani Taken Back

Kurdish fighters, assisted with US-led airstrikes, kicked the Islamic State's butt and pushed them out of Kobani, a key Syrian town. The orthodox Muslims of the Islamic State thought it would be a cake-walk, or in their case a hummus-walk, but they underestimated the Kurds and paid heavily for their mistake. 
 A Kobani airstrike by US-led coalition

The only question now is whether Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi will execute those ISIS soldiers left alive from the battle who retreated. He did it before, he might do it again because that's just the way the dude rolls. What a leader.

Imagine how angry Abu must've felt seeing the Kurdish enemy removing the black ISIS flag and replacing it with theirs on the hill that overlooks the town. He probably beat one of his wives just to get out his anger.

The American coordinator of the US-led coalition predicted the Islamic State would get the crap kicked out of them in Kobani, and he was right, stating that ISIS would "ìmpale itself" on Kobani. This is a major success for the Kurds and the coalition.

Last September, Islamic State Muslim fighters began the capture of around 300 Kurdish villages near Kobani and entered the town itself, occupying about half of it. This caused thousands of refugees to flee into Turkey, just across the border.

By the following month, ISIS controlled so much of the town that they made a propaganda video of John Cantlie, a British photojournalist, to show just how badass they were. No goats were harmed in the making of that video.

Because Kobani was a strategic border crossing with Turkey, it was essential that the coalition hold it. Even the immoral John Kerry said that it would be `morally very difficult" not to help Kobani. That's ironic, isn't it? Good thing Kobani isn't Israel.

Airstrikes are great at softening targets. Serious carpet bombing softens them even more. But unless we're talking nukes, and we aren't, there must eventually be ground troops to clean up the trash.

Military analysts say the arrival of "gunned-to-the-teeth" Kurdish peshmerga  fighters from Iraq are the reason for success.

 I agree and would add that having women fighters scares the crap out of these religious Muslims. They believe that being killed by a woman, a "thing" that should be used merely for cooking and sex to bear more jihadis, would take away their chances of getting into Paradise where they could have all the sex they want with lots of virgins.

And they call it a religion, a religion of peace, no less. What a joke they've tried to play on us, but all they fooled were our leaders and our liberals.


Tuesday, September 11, 2012

To Avoid Injury, Don't Do Push-ups After Taking Cialis

Sandra Fluke (pronounced Fluck) is too polished to be a random spokesmoron for the left.  While she sounds like a person speaking with a paper pooper, she does so with a certain professionalism that is just too practised to be a novice.

I believe Fluke is a hand chosen extremist, tapped on the shoulder by our President to represent a "faux woman" invented by the left to effectively yell "squirrel" to the voters and hope they're paying attention to this non-issue.

Abortion is not prohibited by our laws.  Women are not being denied anything they need to prevent pregnancy while playing, and anyone who can afford what Ms. Fluke was wearing at the DNC Convention, (even her shiny necklace of what looked like beer can pop tops rings), can afford birth control.  
Touching Hands

What conservatives want is the termination of partial birth abortions.  The reason being is that conservatives believe that humans have inalienable rights even if they cannot speak, walk, or crawl.  They have these rights even if they're too young to vote (although I suspect Obama would reconsider his position of allowing partial birth abortions if the victims could vote for him).  And to kill these people after they made it through the birth canal in spite of the attempt on their life, just doesn't seem fair, and it certainly doesn't sound humane.  What it sounds like is convenient for the mother of the unwanted life in her life.  I believe adoption, not abortion, is the better alternative.  I also believe that Sandra Fluke is the essence of bimbo-hood and should either change her name to Sandra Flake or Sandra Fluck to dispel any doubts as to where she is coming from.


My latest novel, Jihad Joe, is about terrorism and suspense.  In it I challenge the precepts of the religion through my protagonist, Zed Nill, a journalist who is captured by terrorists and who is to be killed if the American President refuses to release three Gitmo prisoners.  Of course, giving in to terrorist demands is against American policy, and for Zed, the clock is ticking.



Jihad Joe Soft Cover           



Sunday, December 18, 2011

Freudian Islam: the Shame of Veggies (Peas Be Up In Him)

Phil the Happy Phallus
For you and me, a European cucumber, a pair of apples, and throw in some sprouts, we have some of the makings of a salad. For Saudi Arabian Muslims, we have a very large penis, pink testicles, and pubic hair. For us, a banana, for them a phallus. For us, a banana split, for them, well, you get it. An article in el-Senousa News featured this guy, a Muslim cleric, in a recent article about fruits and vegetables and how they can be, well, sexually stimulating to men with minds that get sexually stimulated over the removal of a bandaid.

Sex Orgy
No kidding--an Islamic cleric living in Erurope gets turned on when Muslim women, even those shrouded in complete burqas, touch these items with their naked hands. Knowing what it does to him, he is concerned that all Muslim men are susceptible to the fruitful caresses of women when they go shopping. The cleric sees phalluses everywhere, and they become his phallus when women make salad. And Allah forbid they have to cut them up to serve--it hurts so bad--so they must have their husband, brother, or son do the job, because this cleric believes that all Muslim men are like him, and this would cause them to "go zucchini." 

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Bill Clinton, Sex Consultant

Herman Cain has his hands full with problems being hurled at him by anonymous women who claim he has been sexually inappropriate with remarks and/or demonstrations, or that they just made them feel uncomfortable, or whatever. Mr. Cain blames the Perry campaign for spreading these lies, and the campaign denies it totally, just as Cain denies the allegations.  A third anonymous woman has also come forward, and claimed a similar occurrence happened to her, but she never reported it and is reluctant to give her name. Justin Beiber is also having similar problems with a woman who claims he fathered her child in a bathroom after a concert he gave, and he too denies this claim and plans to continue giving good concert.

Maybe Bill Clinton can come (no pun intended) to their rescue, just like he did with Anthony Weiner when he got snagged with his Weinerish body photos on Twitter. Maybe Bill can also help Julian Assange, the Wikileaks leader, with his sexcapade allegations. Cain, Beiber and Assange can then have bumper stickers that say, "I'm a friend of Bill's." 


Justin Beiber
On a funnier note, Occupy Everything But a Job is still going fast and furious. Oakland's mayor, Jean Quan, who originally gave the protesting bagovonds her blessings, soonafter took those blessings away and replaced them with teargas and police muscle. However, she had a change of heart, a wont for liberals to have, (when it's a conservative, it's called 'flip-flopping'), and she allowed the mob of slimeballs to return to the park, repitch their greasy tents where they could have sex with abandon, and protest things they cannot even spell.


Hey baby, whas your name?

In the wild and wacky world of terrorism, Viktor Bout was convicted of trying to sell weapons that would be used to kill Americans. Bout had little to say to the press and will likely be spending the rest of his days in the slammer.  On a more serious note, Linday Lohan is also going to jail where she will likely get better treatment than Viktor Bout, as she had no inclinations to kill Americans, just perhaps, her career. This is her 5th jail sentence and she will report on November 9th. It's expected she will not serve much time in the hoosegow because of prison overcrowding. Lohan will likely spend about a day or less in the slammer, which, hopefully will not interfere with her glamorous life. She has a photoshoot for Playboy, psychotherapy for her substance abuse problems to attend, and then plans to rendezvous with Bill Clinton when she's a free woman. Wait, that isn't true.
Viktor Bout mugging camera


Solyndra, Sun Power, Beacon Power, green jobs, Fanny & Freddie, OWS and Obama. Can things get more screwed up? Just saying.

 

Thursday, May 26, 2011

How Woody Allen and Muhammad Are Similar

It occurred to me that some things never change. Women are the softer sex and boys will be boys. If you're offended by the first statement, you might be a liberal, but what follows should not offend you any further.

Woody? Perhaps
You might remember the Woody Allen-Mia Farrow scandal back in the '90s when she found some naked photos taken by Woody of her adopted daughter, Soon-Yi Previn.  Soon-Yi was adopted by Mia when she had a previous relationship with Andre Previn, separated from him, and hooked up with Woody around 1980 or so. They never married but, heck, what's in a marriage anyway, other than a statistically better situation for the children, and they did have children from this relationship.  Anyway, in 1992 after Mia found the photos, she and Woody were, as they say, 'splitsville.'  But that wasn't the end to Woody and Soon-Yi, who was 22 at the time and Woody 56. They subsequently "did the right thing" and got married, and they remain married to this day, so far. Woody's biological son, Ronan, had this to say about this union: "He's my father married to my sister.  That makes me his son and his brother-in-law. That is such a moral transgression. I cannot see him. I cannot have a relationship with my father and be morally consistent . . . I lived with all three adopted children, so they are my family. To say Soon-Yi was not my sister is an insult to all adopted children."

So how is this situation similar to that of the prophet of Islam, Muhammad? Let me 'splain.
Muhammad's first wife was Khadijah, a wealthy, older woman who took a fancy to Muhammad after he worked for her as a salesman and really raked in the shekels for her. Muhammad stayed married to her until she died--he only had her as his wife. Once she kicked, he went a bit viral on the women--but I'm getting a bit ahead of myself. I need to mention that Khadijah had a slave named Zayd whom she freed before she died and Muhammad adopted him as his son. In time, Zayd married Zaynab bint Jash, a pretty hot looking lady they say. One day Muhammad come calling on his son but he wasn't home. Guess who was--yes--Zaynab and she wasn't wearing her veil. Women without veils were akin to naked photos of Soon-Yi, making Muhammad even hotter than the desert sun was doing. On his way out the door he made a comment to Zaynab--we don't know exactly what it was, but I suspect something like, "You look hot." Well, Zaynab just couldn't keep a comment like that to herself and she ended up telling Zayd what his father said to her. Zayd recounted this to his dad, Muhammad, who said "keep her, she's yours." But Zayd thought about it and decided to divorce Zaynab so Dad could have her, which is what happened. 

So how is this like Woody Allen? There's more . . .



Muhammad marries Zaynab but now that Khadijah's gone, he decides, "Hey, why stop at one wife when I'm the prophet of Islam, peace be upon me, yo." So what does he do now that he's 50 years old and hot but not from the desert sun? He sees a 6 year old child named Aisha. She's playing with her dollies and something about her catches Muhammad's eye and tickles his fancy (he later tickles hers too). He asks Aisha's dad if he can marry the little girl and dad says "Sure, but can you hold off consummating the marriage?" So Muhammad, being who he is says, "Sure, I can wait." And he waits until Aisha is much older--9 to be exact--and you know what he does to her. Both Muhammad and Woody were no less than 3 full decades older than their wives, Woody 3 Muhammad 4 decades. Both men married women who, while not blood related, were at least spiritually related, which did not seem to bother either man. Both men were relatively neurotic and narcissistic and both men are registered Democrats--buzzungah--kidding, sorta.

 
If you are interested in terrorism and suspense, I have provided 2 links (below) for a hard copy (soft cover) edition and an eBook edition of my latest novel, Jihad Joe.  It's a story about Zed Nill, a New York based reporter, taken hostage by Islamic terrorists.  He must escape, or be beheaded the following day . . . the clock is ticking.
click here for softcover Jihad Joe                     

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