Legal analyst and Zoomturbator, Jeff Toobin had offered cash to abort his son after he got his co-worker's daughter pregnant

Jeffrey Toobin, a legal analyst for the Comedy News Network and renown Zoom chicken choker, recently gave commentary on the network about former president Donald Trump's hush money trial. And while he tried to come off as a virtuous, 'holier than thou' analyst and paint Trump as a sexually immoral person, Toobin's past is not only checkered, but it's also a hot mess and his name has become a verb: 'to Toobin.'

In 2020 he was fired from the New Yorker  for 'taking matters into his own hands' during a Zoom call with the organization’s senior staff. [H/T New York Post.]

There is also a second woman who reportedly claimed Toobin came onto her with course sexual advances at a party, which she rebuffed. 

Toobin, 63, has no moral ground to stand on when attacking Trump as his past shows us. While Trump allegedly tried to buy Stormy Daniels' [aka Stephanie Clifford] silence regarding an affair she claims they had, Toobin once tried to pay for a lover's abortion in an attempt to keep their relationship secret. The woman in question is the daughter of Toobin's coworker.

The hot and cold relationship Toobin had with Casey Greenfield, the daughter of Jeff Greenfield, was reported by the Daily News in 2010. The paper cited sources saying that the baloney bopper offered her "money if she had an abortion" after she became pregnant in 2008. Toobin was married at the time and still is.

When Greenfield refused to kill her unborn baby, Toobin became livid.

“When Casey wouldn’t have an abortion, Jeff told her she was going to regret it, that she shouldn’t expect any help from him,” another source told the tabloid. He sounds like on hell of a guy but CNN hired him back anyway. 

Toobin, is an abortion advocate who would have happily killed his unborn son, and is 13 years Greenfield’s senior. The reprehensible banana-beater only agreed to pay child support after being ordered to do so by Manhattan Family Court.

Toobin is married to and has cheated on, Amy McIntosh, a one-time executive at Verizon and the Zagat Survey, with whom he had two children that he did not kill.

CNN kept Toobin off the network for a year before he was ultimately welcomed back as they believed the viewing public has a short memory. Now the boxer of the one-eyed champ has a gig bashing former President Trump and discusses his legal troubles with women.

What a guy. What a network. What a world.

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Comedy News Network screws up New Year's Eve countdown again

"I don't know if I spilled my drink or peed myself"

Another year, another CNN clusterfrack. It seems they can't get anything right, even the countdown to the New Year. Either they're too drunk or too distracted to do what they came to do: take their viewers seriously.

As the clock struck midnight, Don LeMon and his fellow celebrators in New Orleans were dancing and twerking to Juvenile's "Back That Azz Up," in the spirit of "Wet A** Pu**Y" by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion rather than doing their job: celebrating the start of 2023 with toasts, maybe some resolutions, predictions, and kisses.

The professionalism they showed on New Year's is the same they bring every day, which is to say they have their heads up their nether regions when it comes to being professional. The only reason Don LeMon would sing and dance to "Back That Azz Up" is because he needs to remove his head from it.

"CNN has redeemed itself by ringing in the new year in New Orleans with ‘Back That Azz Up’ and not acknowledging the stroke of midnight in any way," Timothy Burke tweeted.

"As the clock ticked over, Lemon is seen throwing beaded necklaces into the dancing crowd, only moments later seeming to realize that the countdown and announcement had been missed," Business Insider reports.

It would have been perfect if the network could have arranged to have gotten Michael Avenatti out of the slammer and Jeffrey Toobin to dance with him, while Kathy Griffin comes on to Anderson Cooper and Brian Stelter sings WAP as the Times Square glass ball came down.

If it isn't booze with CNN hosts, its something else.

Anyhow, Happy New Year! Stay safe and I wish you all health and happiness.

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Aug. 21, 2022 RIP Reliable Sources

Sunday, August 21, 2022 was Brian Stelter's last day on the Compromised News Network, aka CNN. His show, Reliable Sources is gone and Stelter is now unemployed, but if he plays his cards right, he might just find a spot with the ladies of  The View.

To his credit, in all of his time at CNN, starting in 2013, he never was accused of having an inappropriate sexual encounter, not with a man nor a woman, and not even with himself, as his colleague, Jeffrey Toobin had done on a Zoom call.

His words were powerful and clearly annunciated, and also quite humorous:

 "I believe America needs CNN to be strong, I believe the free world needs CNN to be strong, and it will continue to be because all of us are going to help make that happen. The free world needs a reliable source. So, for ‘Reliable Sources,’ for the last time, I'm Brian Stelter, thanks for being with us." 

America needs CNN like a blowfish needs a cigarette. His show, Reliable Sources, was an oxymoron. His so-called 'sources' were often anonymous and anything but reliable. Stelter was an extremely far-left potato whose journalistic integrity was nonexistent.

During his last show, he thanked his wife, who presumably is female, and several others involved in the progressive programming behind the scenes. He also thanked his former boss and CNN president, Jeff Zucker, who, like Toobin and Chris Cuomo, had to leave CNN due to sexual improprieties.  He even thanked the guy who fired is wide angle butt, Chris Licht.

"Thank you to Jeff Zucker for believing in me, for having the back of this organization for so many years, for having my back through everything, even through the death threats," Stelter said without mentioning Zucker's inappropriate sexual behavior to certain staff.

He added that while it "might sound weird," Stelter thanked Licht for "letting us say goodbye." And he blew Licht a kiss off camera, my reliable sources tell me.

At the outset of the show, Stelter mentioned that Licht was making big changes to CNN and that he was sad that he would not be around to cover it. He was joined by Carl Bernstein who said that Stelter's exit from the network was "bigger than Watergate," and that Brian would be sorely missed, adding, "We won't have Trump to kick around anymore."

"That is the watch word here. Accountability," Stelter jokingly said. "We need to have room for media criticism and debate and discussion, and we will. So much of the media ecosystem in 2022 is garbage, but so much of it is spectacular. The hard part is sorting out the treasure from the trash. These are thorny complicated things. I know I never had all the answers. I didn’t even always have all the questions. But it was the gift of a lifetime to get to confront these issues on international division with the backing of CNN."

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Stelter's final words were that the media "is the people," but much like his reliable sources, he was lying to the people. As far as he is concerned, the media is for leftist ideology and the leftist messages they want the people to hear.

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Stelter and Acosta might get booted from CNN's new reign

Communist News Network's (CNN) hosts Jim Acosta and Brian Stelter may be on the chopping block as the network plans to attempt a nonpartisan approach to news, a change that will likely cause whiplash as they turn from the left, under the leadership of alleged sex offender Jeff Zucker, to the middle. 

Supposedly, the new regime has high hopes of restoring some semblance of credibility with a less Trump-centrist, hard-left approach, as their new chairman and CEO Chris Licht takes the helm. He told staffers that he would "double down on what's working well and quickly eliminate what's not." This led both Acosta and Stelter to worry about their futures, but at least neither of them have been outed as sexual predators like Zucker, Cuomo, Lemon (allegedly), or as video masturbators like Jeffrey Toobin.

Axios reported on Tuesday that "three sources familiar with the matter" regarding future plans said that Licht is evaluating if staffers can adjust to the less polemic approach, and anyone who doesn’t fall in line "could be ousted" so they don’t continue to hurt CNN’s reputation of fake news.

"To conservative critics, some on-air personalities, like Jim Acosta and Brian Stelter, have become the face of the network's liberal shift," Axios’ Sara Fischer wrote, using Stelter as an example of the network's hosts who could be out on their butts. She had previously been a guest on his Sunday "Reliable Sources" political comedy show.

Stelter, who is an allegedly straight cis gender man, did not immediately respond to a request for comment by Fox News because they are conservative and do not go along with his far-left values except where he and capitalism are concerned.

Acosta's serious face

A CNN leaker pointed out that Fischer merely noted that Stelter and Acosta are targeted by non-leftist media, and they aren’t identified as being targeted for termination at this time.

Acosta’s inclusion was unsurprising, as the staunchly liberal host has long been considered one of the more partisan, obnoxious and narcissistic personalities at the failing network.

Acosta became famous for shouting questions at Trump, strong-arming a young woman when she was instructed to take his microphone from him when he refused to allow Trump to answer a question, and for being a total bickering ass on the telly. 

Acosta is the embodiment of fake news and he really isn't very bright.

And while Licht " doesn't want to necessarily shy away from personality programming, especially in prime time," Fischer wrote, he wants to see the numbers rise and doesn't want leftist views to dominate in ways that will cause intelligent viewers to change the channel to the "Cooking Show."

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Licht said he would "reimagine" [a pretentious word that means 'imagine'] CNN's morning show where co-host Brianna Keilar would be obnoxious with conservatives and would speak over them. Whether or not she remains is still a mystery, but if she does, then there you go again.

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CNN's Jeffrey Toobin defends child porn offenders while showing his hands

Jeffrey Toobin smiling for some reason

Having Jeffrey Toobin talk about child porn is like having a meth head discuss the benefits of pharmaceuticals. In any case, the disgraced legal analyst for the Comedy News Network (CNN) defended Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson's lenient sentencing of child porn offenders in her Senate confirmation hearings.

Toobin now speaks on camera in the style of Nancy "Dancing Hands" Pelosi, gesturing with his hands to show that he isn't "petting the cat," so to speak. As you may have heard, he has a reputation for masturbating in mid-conversation.

Last Tuesday, during the hearings, Sen. Josh Hawley (R-MO) asked Judge Jackson about her extremely lenient sentencing record of child porn and sex offenders.

Toobin Appeared on CNN’s "At This Hour with Kate Bolduan." He agreed with Jackson's reasoning that today's child porn sentences have yet to be adapted for a "post-internet" society. In other words, since it's easier for scumbags to get child porn online, they shouldn't have to face tough sentencing. 

How does that make sense to the children being abused?

"I remember, when I was an assistant U.S. Attorney back in the ’90s is that when those sentencing guidelines were written for those cases, that this was a time when the people who committed these crimes would order individual photos and get them usually through email, and then they would be sentenced based on the number of photos they possessed. This was all pre-internet," Toobin explained. "So once the internet came in and people got access to hundreds and then thousands of photos, the sentencing guidelines would reflect hundreds and then thousands of photos. Federal judges have been struggling with the issue of how do you create a fair system that was designed pre-internet, yet you have to sentence people post-internet."

"It wasn’t like she was letting these people go, but they were somewhat less than the guidelines because the guidelines had not been adapted for the internet era," Toobin said, implying that a 3-month sentence as opposed to a 10-year sentence was sufficient because the scumbag got the porn easier than his predecessors. 

What does that have to do with the act of promoting child pornography and sexual abuse?

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Toobin attacked Hawley for even asking the question saying that the reason he asked the question of Jackson's light sentencing was to appeal to the QAnon audience. "This is about appealing to the QAnon audience. This cult that is a big presence is Republican Party politics now where Senator Hawley is trying to ingratiate himself and run for president with their support."

Yeah, and Russian collusion.

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BREAKING: Younger, dumber brother of former Gov. Cuomo fired from CNN

Chris "Fredo" Cuomo, the younger brother of former Gov. Andrew "Handy Andy" Cuomo, is going to have more time to pump iron in his basement and get buffed for the chicks he likes to grab, like a true Cuomo.

Somehow, the "news" network just learned new revelations about how closely Fredo has been with the situation involving his brother and his political woes with women accusers.

“This is not how I want my time at CNN to end,” Cuomo said in a statement issued by a representative.

He was hoping to end his time with the Comedy News Network with a spinoff to his show, which featured his bromance with comedian Don LeMon. There was nothing cooler on CNN than their humorous handoffs between their respective shows seen by everyone waiting for their flights who could not change channels.

“But I have already told you why and how I helped my brother,” he blathered on. 

It wasn't that he helped his brother; that's commendable. It's that he tried to dig up dirt on Andrew's accusers using his position, and that is unethical and immoral. 

Fredo had previously been suspended by the network and has been warned to stay away from boats on lakes.

CNN confirmed the firing in a statement, and said that Fredo had been “terminated … effective immediately.”

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An outside law firm will continue to investigate “his involvement with his brother’s defense.”

It's rumored that he is currently seeking employment as a bouncer while Andrew may be seeking work in politics but at a higher level than governor of a failed state.

Jeffrey Toobin has been seen sitting in Fredo's chair in the studio.

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Jeffrey Toobin still at CNN wants Justice Breyer to not stay on US Supreme Court

Online bishop beater and Corrupt News Network (CNN) contributor Jeffrey Toobin is frustrated that Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer wants to remain on the job and refuses to listen to leftist liberals to go away and let a younger leftist take his seat. 

Coming from a guy whose sexually inappropriate behavior should have gotten him permanently removed from the public eye [because nobody wants to see what he does to himself when he thinks nobody is watching], Toobin has proved himself to be the epitome of hypocrite. In fact, his surname has become synonymous with public masturbating, but CNN still took him back when they thought the story about his Toobining had blown over.

In a "New Day" segment flagged by the Media Research Center, the worm burper declared that, although Breyer "does have all his marbles" and can choose when to retire, he was "gambling with the future of the Supreme Court." 

In reality, Breyer wasn't gambling on anything--he was merely remaining on the Court and doing the job he was appointed to "for life." Hopefully he will remain there until 2024 when Donald Trump once again assumes the presidency, or another Republican.

In a new interview this week with CNN, Breyer said he had not decided when he would retire, but it certainly would not be influenced by a guy like Toobin. "Can you imagine that," Breyer began, "a guy like Jeffrey Toobin is telling me I should retire after what he got caught doing to himself. Let him retire."

"As usual, Stephen Breyer is playing checkers and Mitch McConnell is playing chess," Toobin told co-hosts John Berman and Brianna Keilar because he couldn't come up with an original cliche. "The idea that he is somehow preserving the court by pretending that politics has nothing to do with the Supreme Court is just delusional. But he’s in charge of whether Stephen Breyer retires, and he is in good health. He does have all his marbles."

Of course the truth is, politics shouldn't be part of the Supreme Court but the Democrats have made it so. Rather than doing an honest interpretation of the U.S. Constitution, the left consistently stretches the boundaries of its words.

Toobin, a man who publicly masturbated on a Zoom call, predicted, based off historical trends, that Republicans would win back the Senate in the 2022 midterm elections and that Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, (R-KY), would not hold a vote on a Democratic Supreme Court nominee if he becomes majority leader, which is the smart, strategic thing to do when the Republicans take back the Senate and hopefully the House.

The Zoom call that beats them all

"The window for him to leave is extremely small to assure a Democratic replacement. Maybe he’ll leave next year. But who knows what the story will be next year before the midterms," Toobin, a flagrant banister polisher said. "He is gambling with the future of the Supreme Court and Ruth Ginsburg lost that gamble. We’ll see what happens with Stephen Breyer."

"What other job do we say that 82-year-olds shouldn’t retire? I mean, come on! 82 is not the new anything. 82 is old. He’s been on the court since 1994. No one’s shoving him off prematurely," Toobin said. "What is it with these justices that they can’t say, you know what, I’ve been here for 20 years, 30 years. It’s time to go."

Toobin seems to be upset that he isn't the only person in the public spotlight who expiration date is long past due but gets to stay on the job. But at least he makes no bones about being a staunch Democrat supporter like the legacy media in general.

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Toobin fired by New Yorker for "Toobining" on Zoom call

They waited until all the evidence was in that staff writer and legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin was indeed masturbating during a Zoom conference call before firing him. Yes, he was indeed choking the chicken and now he is gone.

Toobin, whose name has become a verb for manual override or marching the penguin, was suspended last month. This week The Daily Beast obtained a memo stating that he was indeed fired.

Indeed.

“I am writing to share with you that our investigation regarding Jeffrey Toobin is complete, and as a result, he is no longer affiliated with our company,” read the memo.

“I want to assure everyone that we take workplace matters seriously. We are committed to fostering an environment where everyone feels respected and upholds our standards of conduct,” read the internal memo, referring to Toobin's use of a wicked hand gesture.

In a statement, Toobin acknowledged that he had been fired, but said he'd continue to read the magazine [in the hopes of finding interesting Victoria's Secret ads] and said that he will miss his colleagues, [but not the ones who turned him in]. 

Toobin's status as a CNN analyst is not clear but when you consider who they still have on staff, you can imagine that Toobining could be an accepted behavior.

The far-left garbage outlet Vice, citing two sources and reported last month that Toobin had been caught “masturbating on a zoom video chat” during the juncture of an election simulation.

One thing for sure, he wasn't fantasizing a Republican woman and many believe it was Hillary or Nancy he was seeing in his mind's eye. The fact is, however, Toobin was apparently on another video call.

The two sources described a juncture in the election simulation when there was a strategy session, and the Democrats and Republicans went into their respective break out rooms for about 10 minutes. At this point, they said, it seemed like Toobin was on a second video call. The sources said that when the groups returned from their break out rooms, Toobin lowered the camera. The people on the call said they could see Toobin touching his penis. Toobin then left the call. Moments later, he called back in, seemingly unaware that his colleagues had been able to see him with his hand in the cookie jar, and the simulation continued.

Toobin publicly apologized to his wife, family, friends and co-workers in a statement to Vice, and called the incident an “embarrassingly stupid mistake,” and he promised to never masturbate on camera again.

“I believed I was not visible on Zoom. I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me. I thought I had muted the Zoom video,” he said, oblivious to the idea that even when though he believed he wasn't being seen, turning on the weed wacker wasn't the right thing to do in any circumstance during a Zoom call or even while on Twitter.

Will you miss Jeffrey Toobin if he is booted from CNN? Do you even watch the Compromised News Network?

C'mon, man, gimme a break. You know you want to follow Brain Flushings--it's free and worth every penny. And remember, every time you click on an ad, an angel gets its wings and a liberal sheds a tear. C'mon.

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More on Jeffrey Toobin's "exposure"--a chicken may have paid the ultimate price

Toobin in the Now

It was initially reported that the Comedy News Network's legal Anal ist, Jeffrey Toobin was suspended from the New Yorker after he unwittingly exposed himself on a Zoom call to the magazine and WNYC radio staff. 

The report has now been updated.

It turns out to be false. Toobin was not exposing himself, according to those who saw what he was doing on camera--he was apparently "choking the chicken," or "charming the cobra," as it were. Yes, this overpaid pea-brain law school graduate was masturbating and did not know he left his computer camera on.

Even some on the left would say that "beating the bishop" during a Zoom call, whether or not one was sending it out over the internet, was unprofessional and somewhat gross. Everyone on the right would agree.

The matter is being "investigated" said a spokesperson for the New Yorker, and one can only imagine the difficulty one would have trying to maintain a professional demeanor, [keeping a straight face] while looking at the video in this so-called investigation.

"Jeffrey Toobin has been suspended while we investigate the matter,” a spokesperson for the New Yorker solemnly confirmed to Fox News.

Vice later reported a very salacious update.

The call, which was described as an "election simulation," featured Toobin's New Yorker colleagues including Jane Mayer, Masha Gessen, Andrew Marantz, Jelani Cobb, Evan Osnos, Sue Halpern, and Dexter Filkins playing various roles in potential 2020 outcomes including President Trump, Joe Biden, "establishment Republicans," 'establishment Democrats," and "the military." Toobin was playing "the courts." while playing something else.

According to two sources, Toobin was seen "flicking the bean" in what was supposed to be a 10-minute "strategy session" along party lines, but that it "seemed like Toobin was on a second video call."

"The sources said that when the groups returned from their breakout rooms, Toobin lowered the camera. The people on the call said they could see Toobin touching his homeboy. Toobin then left the call. Moments later, he called back in, seemingly unaware of what his colleagues had been able to see, and the simulation continued," Vice reported. 

Vice updated their original report: "This piece has been updated with more detail about the call and the headline has been updated to reflect that Toobin was masturbating."

Prior to the reported "double clicking," Toobin, one of CNN's biggest leftists, offered a feeble apology for his "embarrassingly stupid mistake" and attempted to explain what led to the incident.

“I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera. I apologize to my wife, family, friends and co-workers," Toobin said in a statement to Motherboard. “I believed I was not visible on Zoom. I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me. I thought I had muted the Zoom video."

So the mistake was that he was visible to Motherboard, not that he was "celebrating Palm Sunday." Interesting. 

According to a CNN statement obtained by The Washington Post, "Jeff Toobin has asked for some time off while he deals with a personal issue, which we have granted.”

Yeah, he wants to spend more time with his family, yadda yadda.

C'mon, man. You know you want to follow Brain Flushings--it's free and worth every penny. And remember, every time you click on an ad, an angel gets its wings and a liberal sheds a tear.

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New Yorker suspends Jeffrey Toobin for showing his junk on Zoom

Toobin has been exposed.

Honestly, you can't make this stuff up. The New Yorker, a liberal magazine, has suspended ace reporter Jeffrey Toobin due to him exposing his member during a Zoom call last week. The only folks who got to see "Little Jeff" were members of the New Yorker and WNYC radio [who generally only hear about that stuff because, well, it's radio]. 

[H/T Vice]

Toobin said in a statement to Motherboard: “I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera. I apologize to my wife, family, friends and co-workers.”

“I believed I [and my pishy] was not visible on Zoom. I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me. I thought I had muted the Zoom video,” he added, without explaining why he thinks that it's okay to release the chihuahua while on a call, even if people could not see it.

New Yorker spokesperson Natalie Raabe said: “Jeffrey Toobin has been suspended while we investigate the matter.” She plans to investigate the matter personally and in private "to be discreet, if you know what [I] mean."

Toobin’s Conde Nast email has been disabled and he has not tweeted since October 13. He did, however, appear on the Comedy News Network, flag at full mast, as the network’s chief legal analyst, on Saturday. 

CNN did not respond to requests for comment to every sentient reporter who requested one.

FUN FACT: The reason why over 90 percent of all men who give their penis a name is because they don't want a stranger making all their decisions.

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CNN's Toobin wants Roe v. Wade to remain intact: he allegedly gave his mistress money for an abortion

"Elections have consequences" --Barack Hussein Obama

The Compromised News Network's (CNN) legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin is freaking out since Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy announced his impending retirement. Toobin, a big fan of killing babies in the womb, is particularly panicked over the fate of the Roe v. Wade situation.

As soon as Toobin heard the good news about Kennedy, he nearly wet himself in panic and began sounding the alarm saying that "abortion rights" as we know it are effectively "doomed" in our country.

The leftist lawyer stressed on CNN that Roe v. Wade will be on its deathbed if Trump gets his SCOTUS nomination confirmed.

"You are going to see 20 states pass laws banning abortion outright. Just banning abortion," the shaking Toobin whined. "Because they know that there are now going to be five votes on the Supreme Court to overturn Roe v. Wade."

So at worst, if this does come to pass in the future, women who want to kill their unborn babies will have to travel to a state, like California or New York, that allows for abortions. This might actually give those women time to think over what they're about to do and change their minds, to the benefit of the babies.

"Roe v. Wade is doomed. It is gone because Donald Trump won the election and because he's going to have the chance to appoint two Supreme Court justices," Toobin added.

The New York Daily News reported that Toobin has very personal reasons for being pro-abortion. He is alleged to have offered his paramour, Casey Greenfield, money to have her unborn baby murdered.

Sorry, but that's what abortion factually is, and if enough people start calling it out for what it is, perhaps one potential mother will become one actual mother.

"Greenfield, now 36, was in her 20s when she fell for Toobin, now 49, even though he was wed to Amy McIntosh, the Harvard sweetheart he'd married in 1986 and who gave him two children," the New York Daily News reported in 2010.

"In 2008 when Greenfield became pregnant, and when she told Toobin the news, he offered her 'money' if she'd have an abortion,' says a source. He also allegedly offered to pay for her to have another child later via a sperm donor."

What a wonderful guy.

Casey Greenfield turned out to be a much better person than Toobin and had the child, a son. A paternity test confirmed Toobin, a full-blown scumquat, was indeed the biological father.

The NY Daily News added that "When Casey wouldn't have an abortion, Jeff told her she was going to regret it, that she shouldn't expect any help from him," according to their source.

Eventually, Toobin agreed to some form of child support because he's such a magnanimous piece of work, and allowed the child to visit him and his family on weekends, according to an article in The New York Times.

Aren't you glad you aren't Jeffrey Toobin?



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