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| Toobin in the Now |
It was initially reported that the Comedy News Network's legal Anal ist, Jeffrey Toobin was suspended from the New Yorker after he unwittingly exposed himself on a Zoom call to the magazine and WNYC radio staff.
The report has now been updated.
It turns out to be false. Toobin was not exposing himself, according to those who saw what he was doing on camera--he was apparently "choking the chicken," or "charming the cobra," as it were. Yes, this overpaid pea-brain law school graduate was masturbating and did not know he left his computer camera on.
Even some on the left would say that "beating the bishop" during a Zoom call, whether or not one was sending it out over the internet, was unprofessional and somewhat gross. Everyone on the right would agree.
The matter is being "investigated" said a spokesperson for the New Yorker, and one can only imagine the difficulty one would have trying to maintain a professional demeanor, [keeping a straight face] while looking at the video in this so-called investigation.
"Jeffrey Toobin has been suspended while we investigate the matter,” a spokesperson for the New Yorker solemnly confirmed to Fox News.
Vice later reported a very salacious update.
The call, which was described as an "election simulation," featured Toobin's New Yorker colleagues including Jane Mayer, Masha Gessen, Andrew Marantz, Jelani Cobb, Evan Osnos, Sue Halpern, and Dexter Filkins playing various roles in potential 2020 outcomes including President Trump, Joe Biden, "establishment Republicans," 'establishment Democrats," and "the military." Toobin was playing "the courts." while playing something else.
According to two sources, Toobin was seen "flicking the bean" in what was supposed to be a 10-minute "strategy session" along party lines, but that it "seemed like Toobin was on a second video call."
"The sources said that when the groups returned from their breakout rooms, Toobin lowered the camera. The people on the call said they could see Toobin touching his homeboy. Toobin then left the call. Moments later, he called back in, seemingly unaware of what his colleagues had been able to see, and the simulation continued," Vice reported.
Prior to the reported "double clicking," Toobin, one of CNN's biggest leftists, offered a feeble apology for his "embarrassingly stupid mistake" and attempted to explain what led to the incident.
"Jeffrey Toobin has been suspended while we investigate the matter,” a spokesperson for the New Yorker solemnly confirmed to Fox News.
Vice later reported a very salacious update.
The call, which was described as an "election simulation," featured Toobin's New Yorker colleagues including Jane Mayer, Masha Gessen, Andrew Marantz, Jelani Cobb, Evan Osnos, Sue Halpern, and Dexter Filkins playing various roles in potential 2020 outcomes including President Trump, Joe Biden, "establishment Republicans," 'establishment Democrats," and "the military." Toobin was playing "the courts." while playing something else.
According to two sources, Toobin was seen "flicking the bean" in what was supposed to be a 10-minute "strategy session" along party lines, but that it "seemed like Toobin was on a second video call."
"The sources said that when the groups returned from their breakout rooms, Toobin lowered the camera. The people on the call said they could see Toobin touching his homeboy. Toobin then left the call. Moments later, he called back in, seemingly unaware of what his colleagues had been able to see, and the simulation continued," Vice reported.
Vice updated their original report: "This piece has been updated with more detail about the call and the headline has been updated to reflect that Toobin was masturbating."
Prior to the reported "double clicking," Toobin, one of CNN's biggest leftists, offered a feeble apology for his "embarrassingly stupid mistake" and attempted to explain what led to the incident.
“I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera. I apologize to my wife, family, friends and co-workers," Toobin said in a statement to Motherboard. “I believed I was not visible on Zoom. I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me. I thought I had muted the Zoom video."
So the mistake was that he was visible to Motherboard, not that he was "celebrating Palm Sunday." Interesting.
According to a CNN statement obtained by The Washington Post, "Jeff Toobin has asked for some time off while he deals with a personal issue, which we have granted.”
According to a CNN statement obtained by The Washington Post, "Jeff Toobin has asked for some time off while he deals with a personal issue, which we have granted.”
Yeah, he wants to spend more time with his family, yadda yadda.
C'mon, man. You know you want to follow Brain Flushings--it's free and worth every penny. And remember, every time you click on an ad, an angel gets its wings and a liberal sheds a tear.
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