Al Qaeda's Junior Varsity Scores Big

An al Qaeda faction has taken over two cities in Iraq, and look like they're on a deadly roll. According to Barack Obama, al Qaeda did it with their jay-vee team because according to our fearless leader, al Qaeda is on the run and their "B" team is all that's left and their  varsity team is decimated. Imagine if they still had their varsity. But of course, they do.

While the Taliban Five Dream Team along with their Twenty Taliban Wives are not implicated in this latest Islamic attack and takeover, Mosul and Tikrit have fallen along with a number of Iraqi heads . . . literally. Must've been their "B" team.

Chuck Hagel, our "brilliant" Secretary of Defense, has assured us that we have nothing to worry about over our releasing the Dream Team Beheaders. But Harry Reid admitted in that soft, ya-ya sisterhood voice, that he is glad they're gone from this country. 

Obama said it is absolutely possible these jihadists may follow their Koran and follow their religious path. That should make us all feel safe and secure.

Joe-the-Village-Idiot-Biden calls these guys amateurs. "They aren't even using their own vehicles to attack these cities--they had to steal the military vehicles we gave to the Iraqi army. That's just not fair." Just kidding--Biden didn't really say that and probably has no clue about what's happening in the Middle East yet--he's too busy hanging out with the illegal immigrant kids, future Democrats, providing them with ice cream and legal assistance.

Now that the al Qaeda jay-vee team has kicked butt in Iraq while the Iraq army fled in the tens of thousands, and those who remained now remain headless, Dumbocrats are scrambling to get in front of cameras to deny that the Taliban and al Qaeda are real terrorists. I guess they're just poor, misunderstood Muslims, like Hillary is just a poor, misunderstood feminist who once had serious money problems after the purchase of the two homes and sending Chelsea to Columbia. 

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Atheist Convention Democrats, the Weather and Islam

Five Democrats are slated to speak at an annual conference in Washington D.C. The keynote speaker for the Secular Coalition for America's annual Lobby Day and Secular Summit will be Senator Sheldon Whitehouse, a Democrat with a very presidential name.

The agenda will also include a documentary critical of African American churches and will star the Rev. Al Sharpton. Just kidding. But it will make the usual secular-atheist case against Christianity and really against Israel and Jews, but will probably not have much to say about Islam, the problems with the Koran, Obama's warm relationship with the Muslim Brotherhood, and terrorism.

There will also be a panel discussion titled: "Supporting Science in Lawmaking," which will address "climate change deniers," but will not allow debate on the issue from other scientists because president Obama said that the debate is over, and he is believed to have taken a general science class while attending a Muslim school in Indonesia.

But Obama is correct. Climate change now goes by the name "the seasons."

Admission to this incredible event is $99 but is free to students, minorities, and members of the lesbian and gay community. However, if you are a black lesbian or gay student, you are entitled to free Fluke brand condoms.


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Joe Biden: the Village Idiot

There you go again, Joe; how does that Hush Puppy taste?

Our Vice President, Joseph Robinette Biden, Jr., told the National Association of Manufacturers in Washington D.C. that the rest of the world is xenophobic.

"Look at Germany," the gaffe-meister said, "look at the rest of the world. We're the only non-xenophobic nation in the world that's a major economy." We are also the most debt-ridden country in the world but Joe left that out.

He said that Germany, Japan and China were "not nearly as welcoming of immigrants," the U.S. Business Insider reported. 

So the Village Idiot called for more immigration, because, I guess, he doesn't believe our enormous influx of illegal aliens (most recently the many thousands of children from Central America) will be enough to guarantee a Democratic landslide in the future. He welcomes them with open arms and open voting booths.

Biden forgot to mention how the U.S. needs more fast-food workers who speak with funny accents, or that he plans to run for President in 2016 and completely screw up our country.


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David Beats Goliath

Dave Brat beat Rep. Eric Goliath Cantor in the Virginia GOP primary. The results were about 56% to 44%. This is the first time in American history that the House Majority Leader has lost the seat in a primary, and the amazing thing is how David did it.

The issue that did Cantor in is immigration. Cantor had waffled on it for a year, agreeing with the liberal position on immigration reform, calling for a Republican version of the Dream Act, and this had conservatives thinking that Cantor was eventually going to go along with amnesty. This is not a popular position with most conservatives.

Brat teaches economics at Randolf-Macon College, and had a war chest of $200 thousand; he spent a little of $100 thousand for his campaign. Cantor spent about 21 times that amount. It kind of makes you think that a guy like Brat might have some ideas that Obama could have used but didn't. Perhaps Brat has ideas of how to lower the deficit and help the economy.

Interestingly enough, Brat will be running against Jack Trammell, a professor who also teaches at Randolf-Macon College. Imagine the staff lunchroom.

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What Conservatives Can Learn from Liberals

Nothing is more frustrating than listening to a liberal discuss a social or political issue in emotional terms. Well, maybe trying to get gum off your shoe is more frustrating, or removing toilet paper stuck to the gum--but you get the idea.

Hillary Clinton

Yet you have to give credit to liberals, in spite of them having little or no verification of their beliefs, be it on social issues, gun control, or economics, however, they still manage to win elections.

Part of their success they receive with public support can be attributed to how they use words. Liberals are black belts in verbal karate. They refer to abortion as a "health issue" or "a woman's right to choose," and it almost sounds plausible because there's usually an element of guilt attached to it--liberals thrive on guilt--it's the manure of their soil.

We conservatives try to counter liberal talking points but are less successful at it because we fail to make their rebuttals emotionally labile. We rely on facts and logic, which doesn't play well with liberals who might be disillusioned by the leftists who have destroyed the promise of hope, but who are not willing to give us a chance because the left is promising change that they can believe in--and they do. We need to do what the left has done since Washington was a corporal: baffle 'em with our BS.

When a liberal appeals to the emotions with "a woman's right to choose," conservatives need to counter that with emotional content such as: "a baby's right to live."

When a liberal declares that a 20 week old fetus isn't yet a human being, we need to ask: "Then what is it if not human? If you aren't killing a human being, then what are you killing?" Now that's emotion a liberal can identify with and get behind. But unfortunately, that will probably not convince a true liberal to accept your point of view--they made up their mind when the day they bought their first pair of Earth Shoes, and trying to change their thinking and get them to use logic, is like trying to use a pogo-stick for body surfing.

Not surprisingly, liberals love liberal art courses, which puts them at an advantage at cocktail parties and picking up LBGTXYZ people (I believe Facebook has 57 varieties of sexual preference--like the Heinz Corporation's products). And liberal arts is the way to go if you're looking for work at Bob's Big Boy or the Obama administration. But the most gainful employment liberal arts courses offer is for those who want to teach Gender Studies, Black Studies, Medieval Knuckle Jousting and the like.

Another important thing we can learn from liberals is how to be cool. A liberal can wear a Che Guevara t-shirt and look cool. Anyone who can wear a shirt with the likeness of that cold-blooded, scumbag, commie killer must know a thing or two about how to be cool, and we need to learn how to do that in case Osama t-shirts go on sale.

Liberals are usually experts in walking back stupid, obvious lies, present administration excluded. When Susan-Sunday-Talk-Show-Knuckle-Jouster-Rice said that Bowe Bergdahl served his country with "honor and distinction," she was obviously talking out of the wrong bodily orifice.  But when CNN's Jim Acosta interviewed her on D-Day about this obviously moronic remark, she tried to walk it back with: "What I was referring to was the fact that this was a young man who volunteered to serve his country in uniform at a time of war. That in itself is an honorable thing."

Is it, Susie? Did Bradley (aka Chelsea) Manning serve honorably? He/she/it (say that fast) volunteered to wear the uniform. Benedict Arnold volunteered to wear it too. Would you say the same about them as you did about Bergdahl?

See Sue, it isn't about how you start off that counts--it's how you end up. If you don't believe me, go ask the New York Rangers about the first two Stanley Cup Games they just played.

So if conservatives are going to take walking back lessons they need to learn them from America's premiere back walker and bull artist, Hillary Rodham Clinton, the veritable Queen of Balderdash.

Hillary said she takes full responsibility for the Benghazi scandal in which 4 Americans were under attack by Muslim jihadists and we were only 400 miles away with jet fighters that could have made the trip in an hour. But, of course, we "stood down." In the same breath in which she said she takes full responsibility, she passed that responsibility off to "the experts" that know more about security than she knows. So she made it a kind of "responsibility hot potato" and time heals all non-life-threatening wounds.

But dude, that was, like two years ago.


ADDENDUM: This is more an after thought than an addendum, but I like the sound of addendum better. 

One thing we conservatives need to learn better from our friends across the aisle is how to use the trusty old ad hominem attack. Imagine, we have a soldier, Bowe Bergdahl, who walked off his base, possibly deserted, and all of his brothers in arms said he deserted. Instead of taking that for what it's worth, the lamestream media attacked the soldiers who unanimously made the same claim. That's simply incredible.

It seems like everything of late has become politicized, even behavior that has no bearing on politics, like desertion in time of war.

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The Taliban Dream Team 5 Hurt US Soldiers? Baloney says Kerry

John-I-Married-for-Money-Kerry agrees the release of the Taliban Dream Team Five might result in their return to terrorism, may cut off a head or two, kill some anti-Sharia villagers and women who show an ankle or go to school, but he scoffed at the idea that Obama's unilateral freeing of these scumbags will put American troops at risk.

Kerry (aka Swifty) told CNN's "State of the Union" that to say these high profile killers and UN law-breakers could possibly be responsible for the planning or direct killing of Americans was "baloney." He believes this because he says the war is winding down and we're all going to take our bats and balls and go home. 

"Our combat role in Afghanistan is over," the four month serving Viet Nam self-proclaimed hero said. He agreed that the Dream Team Five could return to the battle, but with a big risk for deadly consequences. Of course, Kerry shares no part of that risk nor does his fearless leader and monarch.

"I just think that's a lot of baloney because, to whatever degree it may be true, they will wind up putting themselves at the mercy of those people who are very effective (at) who are there, who will deal with those guys," the Ketchup King said. It appears that Kerry thinks these Taliban guys are afraid of dying for jihad, Islam's highest honor and guarantee of getting perpetually laid in Paradise, ad infinitum. 

In defense of Kerry, we do not know his state of mind when he made those comments or if he was actually referring to himself in denying the danger of letting the terrorists "camel on off" into the sunset. 

Kerry speaking on behalf of the Taliban is as appropriate as the back-room deals he makes with the Palestinians. 

Jane Fonda was not available for comment and was last seen with the Bergdahl's speaking Pashto.

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Lies, Big Lies, and Damn Lies

If some day in the future, they make a commemorative stamp of Barack Obama, I imagine that it won't stick to the envelope. Why should the stamp stick to what it's supposed to stick to when Obama doesn't stick to almost every story he tries to pass off to the American people? 

Obama lies like a trailer park lizard in an 18 wheeler on pay day.

The release of the Taliban Five from Gitmo was done because Bergdahl needed immediate medical treatment--that's what Obama said. But when Bergdahl looked healthy in the video showing his release, the story changed to: "We had to make the trade in secret because the Tahleeebahn (as Obama pronounces it) said they would kill him if the news of the trade went public."

That makes no sense.

First of all, they had five years to cut his freaking head off but they didn't. He spent much of his time playing soccer with the boys and shooting clay soldiers (or whatever) with them. He laughed and said "Salaam" a lot. He seemed to be blending in with them and even grew a manly Taliban beard, a la Mohammed, peas be up in him.

Secondly, congress is not the public. When Obama got Osama the congress got the info about the plan months beforehand and were able to keep it from the public. Nothing has changed in terms of the congressional leadership of the security panel. There was no reason to believe they couldn't be trusted, and even Diane Feinstein is angry at the man whose baby she would have carried.

Thirdly, Burqa-dahl was not a person who served with honor and distinction because he put a uniform on voluntarily. So did Benedict Arnold and Chelsea Manning (the once upon a time guy who we paid  to have his nuts chopped off and then fold away his penis to make him feel as if he were not a man). Come to think of it, since Manning is gay, he's a hero in Obama's mind--not the soldiers he betrayed.

The savages Obama allowed to walk out of Gitmo have no business sucking earth's air, let alone be allowed to rejoin their terrorist scumbags. I believe they will go back out and kill again, if not with their own hands, then through the orders and plans they execute to kill our men.

But the one thing that makes no sense is the fact that Bergdahl is a peon, a snuffy, a worthless asset to the Taliban, especially when compared to the Taliban Five, better known as "The Gang That Couldn't Behead Cleanly." Bergdahl's only value was that a United States president was willing to give the enemy back their leaders for a deserter. Go figure, they must've thought.

To forgo getting the deal done because Obama told the media (even though the AP already knew about the deal because it was leaked to them by the Taliban) would be crazy. And going public is exactly what terrorists want us to do--it's a recruiting tool. 

Just how stupid does Obama think we are?

But that's his story, and he's sticking to it, unlike the stamp.

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The Taliban "Conversates" with Obama

The 5 high-level Taliban (equivalent to five 4-star generals) that we traded for a deserter who professed contempt for the United States, are not allowed to engage in militant behavior nor are they permitted to raise money for the cause of jihad. These terrorists have all given their solemn "pinky swear" to the Obama administration, and Susan Rice has vouched for them.

Interestingly, Bowe Bergdahl is still in the German hospital but doesn't appear all that sick. If one didn't know better, one might believe the Obama Spin Team is coaching Bowe to help an Obama turd look like gold.

No war veteran believes that what Bergdahl did was like cutting Anarchy One class at UCLA. He deserted his unit and the punishment for that can be the death penalty. The chances of that actually being meted out is as likely as Obama bench-pressing 200 pounds.

The first thing the Spin Team told us was that Bergdahl was in poor health and needed to be freed as soon as possible to protect his life. This appears to be as true as a Jay  Carney response about Benghazi.

Now they're telling us that the reason Congress wasn't notified of the release, as is required constitutionally, is because the Taliban threatened to kill Bergdahl if the swap was made public. I can imagine how the Taliban side of the conversation went:

"Barack, this is Mohammad bin Mohammed from the Taliban. Yeah, I'm good, thanks. How 'bout you? Great. Enough of the small talk; let me get right to the point.

"This Bergdahl guy, you know, the guy who walked into our camp shouting, 'Anyone got a Qu'ran?' Yeah, him--he's still in our custody but we're willing to trade him for our 'Fab Five Taliban Jihadist Dream Team guys.' But listen, Hussein, may I call you Hussein . . . excellent . . . okay, listen up.

"We don't want you or your people going public on the trade. We'll give him back to you for our guys but it's gotta be done on the down-low, if you know what I'm saying. We don't want to look like we're being greedy by trading our guys for your, how should I say this delicately, loser, so you don't say squat to anyone or Bergdahl dies. You got it? Yeah--if it goes public, we kill him and you get to keep our Dream Team.

"By the way, Bergdahl's not a Jewish name, is it? That would change my whole calculus, if you know what I mean."

If you actually believe that the Taliban didn't want the public knowing about their fantastic deal, you have to be crazy.

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