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Alleged President Joe Biden and former President Donald J. Trump, will debate . . . sort of. The ground rules and plans for the debate will have strings attached in order to help the brain addled Biden deal with the more energetic, sharper and wittier Trump.
After Trump gave Biden an open invitation to debate anytime, anywhere, Biden's handlers rose to the challenge. But of course, the Biden team had to tilt the field to his advantage, which still may be problematic as Biden tends to have problems with tilts and stairs. So with Biden's mumbled announcement a letter followed from his campaign to the Commission on Presidential Debates (CPD), which stated several critical limits that Biden's handlers placed on any debate with Trump.
Here are a few, some real, some not so much.
1. No Audience because Biden's handlers criticized the CPD for making debates "huge spectacles with large audiences." This makes Joe uncomfortable when people listen to his every word.
2. Toilet breaks every ten minutes. Biden's handlers know their candidate and will do everything they can to avoid unnecessary embarrassing moments. Furthermore, they know that should there be insufficient toilet breaks, former President Donald J. Trump will jump at the chance to comment on what Joe just did.
3. The debates must take place in a television studio with just the candidates and the moderator present. Naturally, there will be camera men and women as well as transgender, lesbian, and queer camera people allowed.
"The debates should be conducted for the benefit of the American voters, watching on television and at home – not as entertainment for an in-person audience with raucous or disruptive partisans and donors, who consume valuable debate time with noisy spectacles of approval or jeering. As was the case with the original televised debates in 1960, a television studio with just the candidates and moderators is a better, more cost-efficient way to proceed: focused solely on the interests of voters," Biden's handlers wrote.
"The debates should be conducted for the benefit of the American voters, watching on television and at home – not as entertainment for an in-person audience with raucous or disruptive partisans and donors, who consume valuable debate time with noisy spectacles of approval or jeering. As was the case with the original televised debates in 1960, a television studio with just the candidates and moderators is a better, more cost-efficient way to proceed: focused solely on the interests of voters," Biden's handlers wrote.
4. RFK Jr. is not allowed to debate because he's very smart and his vocal disorder may create an unfair sympathy advantage. And he's smart. No other 3rd party candidates will be allowed to be at the debate no matter what the U.S. Constitution says.
"The debates should be one-on-one, allowing voters to compare the only two candidates with any statistical chance of prevailing in the Electoral College – and not squandering debate time on candidates with no prospect of becoming President," Biden's handlers wrote.
Kennedy condemned his ban from the deabte in a post on X, accusing both Trump and Biden of colluding to block him from the debate stage.
"The debates should be one-on-one, allowing voters to compare the only two candidates with any statistical chance of prevailing in the Electoral College – and not squandering debate time on candidates with no prospect of becoming President," Biden's handlers wrote.
Kennedy condemned his ban from the deabte in a post on X, accusing both Trump and Biden of colluding to block him from the debate stage.
5. No conservative news outlets will host any debate, especially not Fox News, Daily Wire, New York Post, Epoch Times, Washington Post, or Breitbart News. If there is going to be a slant in the news, it should be slanted toward the current POTUS, although as previously stated, the current POTUS doesn't negotiate slants very well so he will be wearing sneakers.
This demand set limits the networks that can host a debate to CNN, ABC, CBS or Telemundo.
6. Candidate's mics will mute once their time expires. This is to prevent Trump from making a snappy remark or challenging the veracity of Biden's lies, and to keep Biden from making a confused one.
"There should be firm time limits for answers, and alternate turns to speak – so that the time is evenly divided and we have an exchange of views, not a spectacle of mutual interruption. A candidate’s microphone should only be active when it is his turn to speak, to promote adherence to the rules and orderly proceedings," the handlers wrote.
Former President Donald J. Trump accepted the Biden team's restrictions and the first debate is scheduled for June 27 and will be hosted by the Commie News Network (CNN).
"I am Ready and Willing to Debate Crooked Joe at the two proposed times in June and September," Trump posted. "I would strongly recommend more than two debates and, for excitement purposes, a very large venue, although Biden is supposedly afraid of crowds – That’s only because he doesn’t get them. Just tell me when, I’ll be there. ‘Let’s get ready to Rumble!!!’"
"I am Ready and Willing to Debate Crooked Joe at the two proposed times in June and September," Trump posted. "I would strongly recommend more than two debates and, for excitement purposes, a very large venue, although Biden is supposedly afraid of crowds – That’s only because he doesn’t get them. Just tell me when, I’ll be there. ‘Let’s get ready to Rumble!!!’"
So who will come out the winner in the upcoming debates? Trump, who people seem to love or hate with no in-between? Or Biden, who is going to need a boatload of drugs to get him through these debates without looking like Bernie, on the weekend?
