Trump's Iran deal 'largely negotiated' while GOP hawks start losing their minds

As Washington celebrated the latest draft of a Middle East peace deal, sources confirmed Thursday that President Donald Trump had nearly completed negotiations between the United States, Iran, Israel, several Gulf states, and apparently every other person on Earth except the people who would eventually have to follow the agreement.

Trump announced on Truth Social that an agreement with Iran had been “largely negotiated,” prompting immediate concern among foreign policy experts, Senate hawks, and several thousand Washington think tank employees whose job descriptions depend on perpetual regional instability.

“I am in the Oval Office at the White House where we just had a very good call,” Trump wrote, explaining that leaders across the Middle East had discussed “all things related to a Memorandum of Understanding pertaining to PEACE,” a phrase reportedly causing three defense contractors to faint simultaneously.

The president added, “An Agreement has been largely negotiated, subject to finalization between the United States of America, the Islamic Republic of Iran, and the various other Countries, as listed.”

Sources confirmed that nobody was entirely sure what “the various other Countries, as listed” meant, but negotiators nodded enthusiastically anyway.

The proposed agreement would reportedly reopen the Strait of Hormuz, a vital oil shipping route that Iran has largely disrupted throughout the conflict. Analysts estimate this could allow millions of barrels of oil to move freely again, while depriving cable news panels of at least six months of apocalyptic predictions.

Meanwhile, Israeli officials reportedly gathered for emergency meetings after learning that Trump had once again attempted to solve a decades-old geopolitical crisis by making phone calls and declaring victory before dessert.

Still, President Trump insisted everything was proceeding smoothly, and let's face it, most of the time he's correct.

“Separately, I had a call with Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu, of Israel, which, likewise, went very well,” he wrote. “Final aspects and details of the Deal are currently being discussed, and will be announced shortly. In addition to many other elements of the Agreement, the Strait of Hormuz will be opened.”

According to White House insiders, Trump spent several minutes reminding attendees that he literally wrote The Art of the Deal, while Middle Eastern diplomats quietly wondered whether that qualified as binding international law.

Not everyone was celebrating.

Republican senators immediately emerged from their underground network of strategic briefing rooms to warn that peace itself could pose a grave threat to regional stability.

Sen. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina expressed alarm that any arrangement allowing Iran’s government to continue existing might create a “nightmare for Israel.”

“If a deal is struck to end the Iranian conflict because it is believed that the Strait of Hormuz cannot be protected from Iranian terrorism and Iran still possesses the capability to destroy major Gulf oil infrastructure, then Iran will be perceived as being a dominate [sic] force requiring a diplomatic solution,” Graham posted on X.

The war hawk added, “This combination of Iran being perceived as having the ability to terrorize the Strait in perpetuity and the ability [to] inflict massive damage to Gulf oil infrastructure is a major shift of the balance of power in the region and over time will be a nightmare for Israel.”

Experts translated Graham’s statement as: “Have we considered bombing something first and negotiating later?”

Sen. Roger Wicker of Mississippi was equally skeptical.

“The rumored 60-day ceasefire, with the belief that Iran will ever engage in good faith, would be a disaster. Everything accomplished by Operation Epic Fury would be for naught!” he posted.

Pentagon officials reportedly spent the afternoon explaining to Americans that “Operation Epic Fury” was, in fact, the actual name of a military campaign and not a rejected Xbox game title.

At press time, Washington hawks were warning that a negotiated settlement could dangerously undermine decades of bipartisan consensus that every Middle Eastern conflict is exactly three airstrikes away from permanent peace.

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US plans to seize Iran-linked ships in several days as per WSJ

US Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff General Dan Caine speaks as a map of the Strait of Hormuz is displayed during a press briefing at the Pentagon in Washington, DC, on April 16, 2026.

The mullahs in Tehran are squeezing the Strait of Hormuz like it is their personal playground, even taking shots at several ships earlier on Saturday. Because nothing says "responsible regional power" like turning one of the world's most vital oil chokepoints into a floating shooting gallery.

According to a Saturday report from The Wall Street Journal, the US is gearing up to board and seize Iran-linked oil tankers and commercial ships in the coming days. And these operations will not be limited to the neighborhood. They will happen in international waters, potentially far outside the Middle East.

The US “will actively pursue any Iranian-flagged vessel or any vessel attempting to provide material support to Iran,” US Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Dan Caine said. “This includes dark fleet vessels carrying Iranian oil.”

“As most of you know, dark fleet vessels are those illicit or illegal ships evading international regulations, sanctions, or insurance requirements,” Caine continued.

Caine was further quoted as saying that the new campaign, which would be operated in part by the US Indo-Pacific Command, would be part of a broader President Trump-led campaign against Iran, known as “Economic Fury.”

White House spokeswoman Anna Kelly told the WSJ that Trump was “optimistic” that the new measures would lead to a peace deal.

This all comes as Iran continues to tighten its grip on the Strait of Hormuz, with the WSJ reporting that the US has already turned back 23 ships trying to leave Iranian ports since the blockade began. Expanding naval action beyond the Middle East gives the US even more leverage by letting it snag a greater number of vessels loaded with oil or weapons headed for Iran.

“It’s a maximalist approach,” said associate professor of law at Emory University Law School Mark Nevitt. “If you want to put the screws down on Iran, you want to use every single legal authority you have to do that.”

Iran, never one to miss a chance for some chest-thumping, claimed earlier on Saturday that it had regained military control over the Strait. They plan to keep it locked down until the US guarantees full freedom of movement for ships traveling to and from Iran.

“As long as the United States does not ensure full freedom of navigation for vessels traveling to and from Iran, the situation in the Strait of Hormuz will remain tightly controlled,” the Iranian military stated.

In addition, Iranian Supreme Leader Mojtaba Khamenei declared on Saturday in an apparent message on his Telegram channel that the Iranian navy is prepared to inflict “new bitter defeats” on its enemies.

Because when your economy is circling the drain and the world's most powerful navy is about to start playing global Whac-A-Mole with your oil tankers, the only logical response is more tough talk from the Telegram account. What could possibly go wrong?

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FBI reveals bomb planted at a government HQ

MacDill Air Force Base hosts the headquarters of U.S. Central Command (CENTCOM), which is overseeing Operation Epic Fury against Iran.

Federal authorities on Thursday unsealed indictments against a brother and sister accused of involvement in a suspected explosive device incident at MacDill Air Force Base in Florida, following a March 16 security scare at the installation, Fox News reports.

Investigators allege that Alen Zheng placed the device near the MacDill visitor center.He has been charged with attempted damage to government property by fire or explosion, unlawful making of a destructive device and possession of an unregistered destructive device. The FBI said Zheng is believed to be in China.

His sister, Ann Mary Zheng, was taken into custody by FBI Tampa and is charged with accessory after the fact and tampering with evidence.

According to court filings, she is accused of concealing or damaging a 2010 Mercede-Benz to prevent it from being used in legal proceedings.

The incident began on March 16, when a suspicious package was reported outside the base entrance.

Law enforcement responded by shutting down traffic along South Dale Mabry Highway, with Tampa Police Department officers securing the area near the main gate.

MacDill Air Force Base hosts the headquarters of U.S. Central Command (CENTCOM), which is overseeing Operation Epic Fury against Iran.

The base is also home to U.S. Special Operations Command (USSOCOM), responsible for coordinating special operations forces across the Department of War.

Officials said a news conference is scheduled for Thursday afternoon following the release of the charges.

FBI Director Kash Patel said the case reflects coordination among multiple agencies involved in the investigation.

“Today’s indictments are the result of tremendous investigative work from our FBI teams and great coordination from our state, local, and federal partners across the board,” Patel said.“No one who targets our brave service members and military facilities will ever get away with it, and this FBI will pursue all those responsible for the incident at MacDill Air Force Base to the ends of the earth,” he added.

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Pete Hegseth: ‘We’ve Decided To Share the Ocean With Iran. We’ve Given Them the Bottom Half’

The U.S. military has now sunk more than 120 Iranian naval vessels during Operation Epic Fury, Secretary of War Pete Hegseth announced Tuesday, dropping one of his classic zingers: "We’ve decided to share the ocean with Iran. We've given them the bottom half."

As the conflict rolls into its 20th day, pretty much all of Tehran's meaningful sea power has been wiped out, Hegseth added during a morning press briefing at the Pentagon.

"We've damaged or sunk over 120 of their navy ships with battle damage assessments pending for many more," Hegseth said, pointing out that the tally of destroyed vessels is only going to climb in the days ahead. "Their surface fleet is no longer a factor. The submarines they once had, 11 are gone. Their military ports are crippled."

Before Operation Epic Fury kicked off, the Islamic Republic boasted a submarine force of roughly 28 to 30 vessels, per the Nuclear Threat Initiative, so U.S. strikes have already taken out about a third of Tehran's underwater fleet.

Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Dan Caine, who appeared alongside Hegseth, noted that at least 44 Iranian mine-laying vessels are now out of commission, which seriously guts Tehran's ability to threaten the vital Strait of Hormuz shipping lane.

U.S. forces dropped 5,000-pound bunker buster bombs onto underground bunkers, blocking the regime from reaching its stored weapons reserves. Those munitions slammed "into underground storage facilities storing coastal defense cruise missiles and other support equipment," Caine said.

"These weapons are bespokely [sic] designed to get through concrete and or rocks, and function after penetrating those barriers," Caine explained. "We continue to hunt and kill mine storage facilities and naval ammunition depots."

U.S. aircraft are "flying farther" into Iran every day as operations push eastward, Caine said, "penetrating deeper into Iranian airspace to hunt and kill one-way attack garrisons," a reference to the very drones Iran relies on to saturate and overwhelm air defenses in the region.

Along with the A-10 Warthog, the United States has brought AH-64 Apache attack helicopters into the fight along Iran's southern flank, plus they're hitting Iran-backed militia groups in Iraq.

"AH-64 Apaches have joined the fight on the southern flank, and they continue to work on the southern side, and that includes some of our allies who are using Apaches to handle one-way attack drones in Iraq," Caine said. "AH-64s have been striking against Iranian-aligned militia groups to make sure that we suppress any threat in Iraq against us."

All told, the United States has bombed more than 7,000 targets across Iran since the war started, and Thursday's operations will feature "the largest strike package yet," Hegseth said. "As I've said, from day one, our capabilities continue to build, Iran's continue to degrade."

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Trump turns his back on NATO after they leave US waiting

Photo Credit: Yuri Gripas/Abaca/Bloomberg

President Trump just dropped a massive truth bomb on Tuesday, guys, basically telling NATO to pound sand because the United States doesn't need their so-called "help" in taking down the terrorist regime in Iran. And honestly, can you blame him? 

After most of these alliance members chickened out and refused to join the military operation, Trump laid it out plain and simple.

"The United States has been informed by most of our NATO 'Allies' that they don't want to get involved with our Military Operation against the Terrorist Regime of Iran, in the Middle East, this, despite the fact that almost every Country strongly agreed with what we are doing, and that Iran cannot, in any way, shape, or form, be allowed to have a Nuclear Weapon," Trump wrote on Truth Social.

This comes right after he called on the world to step up and help secure the Strait of Hormuz — you know, that tiny little choke point where one-fifth of the planet's oil flows through. He warned on Sunday that if NATO didn't pitch in to open it up, they'd face a “very bad” future. Classic Trump: he tells it like it is.

"I am not surprised by their action, however, because I always considered NATO, where we spend Hundreds of Billions of Dollars per year protecting these same Countries, to be a one way street — We will protect them, but they will do nothing for us, in particular, in a time of need," Trump said.

Look, this is what we've been saying for years on the show. NATO's been a freeloader club for decades. We foot the bill, we provide the muscle, and when it's go-time against actual terrorists who want nukes, suddenly everyone's got excuses. Pathetic.

But here's the best part: despite zero backup from these "allies," Trump says we're done even asking. The U.S. has already crushed Iran's military: navy, air force, you name it,  they've been decimated.

"Because of the fact that we have had such Military Success, we no longer 'need,' or desire, the NATO Countries' assistance — WE NEVER DID! Likewise, Japan, Australia, or South Korea," Trump said. "In fact, speaking as President of the United States of America, by far the Most Powerful Country Anywhere in the World, WE DO NOT NEED THE HELP OF ANYONE!"

BOOM! That's American strength right there. We're the most powerful nation on Earth, and we don't beg for handouts from countries we've been carrying on our backs.

Meanwhile, Iran's mullahs are still whining about keeping the Strait closed, so Trump even floated asking China to help police it. And get this: European Union foreign policy chief Kaja Kallas said Monday they're "discussing" potential actions because, surprise, it's in Europe's interest to keep the oil flowing. 

Too little, too late, Kaja.

Oil prices spiked since Operation Epic Fury kicked off on February 28. Brent crude blew past $100 a barrel Tuesday, and the national average for gas hit $3.79 a gallon, up from $2.91 a month ago. But Trump already addressed that: destroying Iran's nuclear program is worth every penny at the pump. 

This is what winning looks like, folks. America first, no apologies, and no more getting played by so-called allies who disappear when the going gets tough.

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Khamenei cardboard cutout may have gotten caught in the rain: it's missing

"Supreme Leader, say hello to all your followers"

Who knew Amazon ships to Iran? The missing cut-and-pasted Ayatollah Junior, and Iran's Supreme Leader for Life, Mojtaba Khamenei has been out of sight recently. He hasn't been seen in public since getting his new gig after his dad, Ali, got to meet his virgins resulting from U.S.-Israeli strikes.

According to Israeli journalist Amit Segal, organizers hauled the life-size stand-in onto the stage, where the faithful hailed it and swore allegiance like it was the real deal. The thing looked crudely slapped together with strips of tape, because apparently that's the level of production value the mullahs are working with these days.

Mojtaba [aka Mo] has been AWOL from public view or any statements since Sunday, when he was tapped as Iran's new top dog. An Iranian official told Reuters on Wednesday that the new supreme leader was "lightly injured" in the strikes, with reports specifying leg damage from day one of the action. Others say he is in a coma, while others, such as President Trump, say that he may be dead like his dad.

The regime has been stingy with details but keeps insisting he's running things from behind the scenes. In fact, the regime is currently working on engineering the face cut-out to make the mouth moveable when he allegedly speaks. They are close to solving the problem.

Segal nailed it when he wrote that the injuries "must be quite serious if a cardboard ayatollah cuts a more commanding figure than a wheelchair-bound Khamenei."

Ya think?

Over on this side of the world, President Trump wasn't thrilled about the regime's personnel choice. He told Fox News on Tuesday that he was "not happy" with the pick but stopped short of confirming whether the U.S. or Israel might take another swing at the guy. "I don’t believe he can live in peace," Trump said.

Trump also praised the results of Operation Epic Fury as "way beyond expectation." The U.S. military has sent more than 50 Iranian naval ships to the bottom and pounded over 5,000 targets inside the country, including dozens of those 2,000-pound GPS-guided bombs raining down across the Islamic Republic, according to Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Dan Caine on Tuesday.

Secretary of War Pete Hegseth summed it up nicely on Tuesday: "We’re crushing the enemy in an overwhelming display of technical skill and military force. We will not relent until the enemy is totally and decisively defeated."

The whole cardboard supreme leader routine is the kind of farce that only a crumbling dictatorship could stage with a straight face. 

When your new boss is better represented by duct tape and corrugated board than by showing up himself, maybe it's time to admit the revolution has jumped the shark. Or at least limped offstage on injured legs and possibly worse things missing from that area below his equator.

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CNN has panic attack caused by Iranian political prisoner

Kian Tajbakhsh showed up on CNN the other night to talk about the Iranian operation. No fireworks, no shouting matches like you get from the usual suspects, Scott Jennings barking, Kevin O'Leary pontificating, Ben Ferguson thundering. Tajbakhsh just laid out the plain facts, cool as you please. And why wouldn't he? The man spent time as a political prisoner in Iran; he's seen the regime up close and personal.

We chewed over how the liberal crowd is now trying to paint Operation Epic Fury as some fresh quagmire, another endless war cooked up in Washington. Nonsense. Iran has considered itself at war with the United States since the mullahs took power in 1979. Tajbakhsh was right there when their officials said it outright, we've been in a cold (and sometimes hot) war with the Islamic Republic ever since the Revolution.

But what really sent the producers scrambling was what came next on the Obama Iran nuclear deal. That’s when Abby Phillip hit the panic button and cut to commercial. You could almost hear the tires screeching.

Here's Tajbakhsh, straight and unvarnished:

TAJBAKHSH: "What happened with President Obama, I'll just say this very quickly.'"And I was in the State Department in the 2000s when we implored the Bush administration not to restrict the engagement with Iran simply to the nuclear file."

"What happened with president Obama is that, for better or worse, and I'm not going to litigate that here, he decided that given the four big problems that have always been on American objectives with Iran, that is enrichment, ballistic missiles, proxies and democracy inside Iran, that he would put all the last three aside and focus only on the nuclear deal."

"Now, I'm not going to say that was good or bad. I don't think it was a great idea, but what we have seen and this is also maybe controversial and I think a lot of my liberal friends are going to hate me for this…"

"Is that unfortunately you can draw a straight line from the 2015 nuclear deal to October 7th.”“I think that what the Trump administration is--"

PHILLIP: "We . . . we . . . we do have to go to a break here."

TAJBAKHSH: "Okay."

And poof, gone to break, smoke screen deployed, retreat in good order. Classic CNN when the narrative takes a direct hit.

Operation Epic Fury has laid bare what a disaster the Obama nuke deal really was. Naïve doesn’t begin to cover it. Handing the world’s premier state sponsor of terrorism billions in cash and sanctions relief, while conveniently ignoring the missiles, the proxies, the whole apparatus of terror, that wasn't diplomacy; it was wishful thinking bordering on delusion. The mullahs were never going to play straight; anyone with a shred of realism could see that. You don't need a PhD from Harvard or Foggy Bottom experience to understand you can’t trust fanatics who chant "Death to America" as a national pastime.

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The Democrats, bless their virtue signaling souls, have a perfect record on foreign policy: always wrong, usually catastrophically so. They got played like a cheap fiddle here. Obama's domestic crown jewel, Obamacare, is a rolling catastrophe. Now his foreign-policy masterpiece lies in ruins—and worse, those billions may well have helped subsidize the October 7 massacre.

No wonder the network bolted for the exits. Some truths are just too inconvenient for prime time.

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IDF strikes Iranian regime targets and confirms 40 dead IRGC top commanders

To the anguish of New York City Comrade Mayor Zohran Mamdani and CNN's Christiane Amanpour, Israel and the United States have dealt an incredibly powerful blow to the Iranian regime's IRGC again on Sunday morning, launching strikes into the "heart of Tehran" and destroying regime targets.

The IDF says these strikes are the first to come under "Operation Roaring Lion," a name given by Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. It is a joint Israel-US attack on the scumcrumpets who have been in power for over 47 years.

The strikes are being done by the IAF with guidance from IDF intelligence and most likely with Mossad operatives who have been embedded in Iran for years.

The large-scale strikes conducted on Saturday made it possible for the Israelis to "establish superiority and to pave the path to Tehran," the IDF said.

The IDF has also confirmed that they have killed 40 Iranian commanders including their armed forces chief of staff, Abdolrahim Mousavi, in the launch of "Operation Epic Fury." 

"Mousavi served as one of the highest senior military ranking officials and was the successor of Mohammad Bagheri, the Chief of Staff of the Iranian Armed Forces, who was eliminated in the opening strike of 'Operation Rising Lion' in June 2025," the IDF said in a statement.

"The majority of the highest-ranking senior military officials of the Iranian security leadership have been eliminated by the IDF," the Israeli military added. 

And most importantly, the head of the snake, Supreme Leader yadda, yadda, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei has been killed and this has been confirmed. He will be joining Yahya Sinwar, Mohammed Deif, Ismail Haniyeh, Yahya's bro. Mohammed Sinwar, and who can forget Hassan Nasrallah of Hezbollah and his cousin Hashem Safieddine.

May they rot in Jahannam [aka hell].

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