Khamenei cardboard cutout may have gotten caught in the rain: it's missing

"Supreme Leader, say hello to all your followers"

Who knew Amazon ships to Iran? The missing cut-and-pasted Ayatollah Junior, and Iran's Supreme Leader for Life, Mojtaba Khamenei has been out of sight recently. He hasn't been seen in public since getting his new gig after his dad, Ali, got to meet his virgins resulting from U.S.-Israeli strikes.

According to Israeli journalist Amit Segal, organizers hauled the life-size stand-in onto the stage, where the faithful hailed it and swore allegiance like it was the real deal. The thing looked crudely slapped together with strips of tape, because apparently that's the level of production value the mullahs are working with these days.

Mojtaba [aka Mo] has been AWOL from public view or any statements since Sunday, when he was tapped as Iran's new top dog. An Iranian official told Reuters on Wednesday that the new supreme leader was "lightly injured" in the strikes, with reports specifying leg damage from day one of the action. Others say he is in a coma, while others, such as President Trump, say that he may be dead like his dad.

The regime has been stingy with details but keeps insisting he's running things from behind the scenes. In fact, the regime is currently working on engineering the face cut-out to make the mouth moveable when he allegedly speaks. They are close to solving the problem.

Segal nailed it when he wrote that the injuries "must be quite serious if a cardboard ayatollah cuts a more commanding figure than a wheelchair-bound Khamenei."

Ya think?

Over on this side of the world, President Trump wasn't thrilled about the regime's personnel choice. He told Fox News on Tuesday that he was "not happy" with the pick but stopped short of confirming whether the U.S. or Israel might take another swing at the guy. "I don’t believe he can live in peace," Trump said.

Trump also praised the results of Operation Epic Fury as "way beyond expectation." The U.S. military has sent more than 50 Iranian naval ships to the bottom and pounded over 5,000 targets inside the country, including dozens of those 2,000-pound GPS-guided bombs raining down across the Islamic Republic, according to Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Dan Caine on Tuesday.

Secretary of War Pete Hegseth summed it up nicely on Tuesday: "We’re crushing the enemy in an overwhelming display of technical skill and military force. We will not relent until the enemy is totally and decisively defeated."

The whole cardboard supreme leader routine is the kind of farce that only a crumbling dictatorship could stage with a straight face. 

When your new boss is better represented by duct tape and corrugated board than by showing up himself, maybe it's time to admit the revolution has jumped the shark. Or at least limped offstage on injured legs and possibly worse things missing from that area below his equator.

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