Swalwell's Tantrum: Dems Must Swear to Smash Trump's Glorious White House Ballroom or Hit the Road

Eric Swalwell: the man who brought you Fang Fang and the "Fart Heard Round the World"

Oh, here we go again, folks, another day, another unhinged meltdown from the fever swamps of the Democratic Party. Fox News political analyst Lisa Boothe nailed it this weekend, breaking down the left's collective freakout over President Donald Trump's bold move to finally give the White House the upgrade it has been begging for amid the ongoing government shutdown drama. Because nothing says screwed up "priorities" like screeching about chandeliers while the border's wide open and the economy's roaring back to life under Trump 2.0.

Enter Rep. Eric Swalwell, the "Make Believe Ballroom" California Democrat who's still smarting from his 2020 primary flop and that whole Fang Fang spy scandal and his televised fart we all pretended to forget. Swalwell's out here playing kingmaker for 2028, declaring that the next Democratic presidential hopeful better treat Trump's magnificent new White House ballroom like it's the Death Star. He wants it turned to rubble on inauguration morning, or don't even bother showing up to the clown convention they call a primary.

"Don’t even think of seeking the Democratic nomination for president unless you pledge to take a wrecking ball to the Trump Ballroom on DAY ONE," Swalwell wrote on X on Saturday. 

Swalwell's office ghosted Fox News Digital when asked for a follow-up. Shocker. Probably too busy practicing their wrecking-ball swings in a San Francisco safe space.

Funny how it's okay for the left to make rubble out of the White House, but when Trump does it to rebuild a ballroom, it's outrageous.

Now, let's talk about this "Trump Ballroom" that's got the blue-check brigade clutching their pearls like it's the end of Versailles. For the first time in its 200-plus-year history, the people's house is getting a proper formal ballroom: a sprawling 90,000-square-foot masterpiece rising where the East Wing once squatted, all funded by President Trump himself and a cadre of private donors to the tune of $250 million. No taxpayer money, mind you, because unlike the grifters in the Biden-Harris clown car who blew billions on beachfront bunkers, Trump's keeping it classy and crowdfunded.

Back on July 31, White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt dropped the mic with the announcement, laying out why this isn't just bling, it's necessity wrapped in elegance. "The White House is currently unable to host major functions honoring world leaders in other countries without having to install a large and unsightly tent approximately 100 yards away from the main building's entrance," Leavitt said, adding the new ballroom will be "a much-needed and exquisite addition."

Picture it: 650 seated guests under crystal domes, classical architecture that screams American grandeur, no more embarrassing pop-up circus tents like we're hosting a state fair for sheikhs and senators. The White House has never had a formal ballroom before. Can you imagine FDR or Reagan settling for a glorified lean-to? But leave it to the woke warriors to turn a triumph into a tragedy.

And don't get me started on the haters whining about the demolition photos, because, newsflash, progress sometimes means saying goodbye to the outdated. Construction kicked off earlier this month, and it's already got the Trump magic touch.

But wait, there's more! 

Trump's not stopping at the ballroom. He's sprinkled gold accents throughout the Oval Office and Cabinet Room like the Midas of MAGA, because why not make the people's workspace look like the winner's circle it is? 

He's unveiled a towering new monument, the "Arc de Trump," a "walk of fame" lined with portraits of our greatest commanders-in-chief, including a cheeky autopen snapshot standing in for Sleepy Joe's "tenure" as a not-so-subtle reminder of who the real placeholders were. 

Joe Biden

Stone pavers now grace the Rose Garden lawn, banishing the mud-pit vibes forever, and two massive 88-foot flagpoles fly Old Glory higher than ever, a middle finger to the flag-burners and kneelers who've tried to dim our shine.

Trump's office gold? The Oval looking like it belongs to a president who actually wins wars and deals, not doodles on classified docs.

This is legacy-building, pure and simple—the kind of bold, unapologetic patriotism that makes the White House worthy of its name again. And Swalwell? He's just the latest sad sack auditioning for the role of village idiot, demanding Dems swear an oath to undo it all because... Trump bad. Folks, if that's their litmus test for 2028, the GOP's got four more years in the bag. Pass the popcorn—and maybe a hard hat for the next round of Democrat demolition derbies.

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Biden puts on a clinic on global warming and blows away Duchess of Cornwall long and loud

Everybody poops and everybody farts, just ask President Biden.

The Duchess of Cornwall was the unsuspecting recipient of a clinic put on by our president in which he blew "a fragrant kiss" that sounded like a tuba player with incredible lung capacity. The Duchess was blown away, as the saying goes.

Biden met the Duchess, Camilla Parker Bowles, during a reception on Monday at the Kelvingrove Art Gallery, attended by Prince Charles, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Boris Johnson. She was clearly taken aback by the Biden cheek flapper while the others kept a stiff upper lip.

Yes, our president "did an Eric Swalwell" and farted in mid-conversation with Camilla while at the Glasgow COP26 climate conference. What better way for our nation to demonstrate to the world the current crisis global warming has on the planet? Not only was it loud, it was long and reportedly odiferous.

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Since the event occurred, Camilla was so blown away that she "hasn't stopped talking about it" as "[I]t was long and loud and impossible to ignore," according to a source who told the Mail on Sunday. 

But if Biden's pledge, and one of the most important problems society faces today he states, is to “reduce our methane emissions as quickly as possible,” he is setting a poor example. 

This was not the first time the president has been accused of having an anal audio. He was accused in May 2020 of audibly firing off a crowd splitter at a campaign livestream when he appeared with PA Gov. Tom Wolf. As Wolf was speaking, Biden lifted one butt cheek and a noise was heard reminiscent of an Eric Swalwell media event.

Biden met with the Duchess during a reception on Monday at the Kelvingrove Art Gallery, attended by Prince Charles, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Boris Johnson.

At least he didn't poop his pants this time.

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Veteran Memorial 'Cross Ban' Ain't Happening with Bikers Standing Guard

The group that views their atheism as a religion, Freedom from Religion Foundation (FFRT--also known as and pronounced "FART") is being the pains in the butt they usually are with efforts to remove all religious symbols from public property. It isn't that it truly "upsets" them, it's that it gives the sphincter-head FART members a sense of power.

So they go after a Ten Commandments monument is schools, "In God We Trust" stickers on police cars, and they will take legal action just to bust them.

Recently, in Belle Plaine, Minnesota, FFRT (aka FART) has finally faced a different kind of resistance they're not used to dealing with:

The kerfuffle began in Belle Plaine and centered on a monument at their Veterans Memorial Park. One monument is of "a soldier kneeling in front of a cross that served as a headstone for a fellow soldier's grave."

In August, after "resident JoAnne Gill filed a police report questioning whether the cross was legal based on court rulings regarding church and state."

Well that got the attention of FART; they, like the PC police look for anything, any piece of minutiae they can use to break balloons. 

As FART member Annie Laurie Gaylor said: "This isn't just a constitutional violation. It sends a message of exclusion to non-Christians as if only Christian veterans are important . . . 

"We don't object to veteran memorials and we don't object to Christian veteran memorials, we just think Christian veteran memorials must be on private property."

Except that she's full of beans, which may be why she's their spokes moron.

Our country is a Judeo-Christian nation and the reason she can even talk about our Constitution is because soldiers like the fallen Christian in the memorial ensured that for her and the rest of her old FART crew.

Unfortunately, the town Mayor Christopher Meyer admitted that the lawsuit FART put forward gave him "no choice but to take down the cross." He went on to say, "To me, it's another attack on small town America--our freedoms."

Naturally the town veterans groups and residents lashed out at the decision saying it's "frustrating to see that one person or two people in a town are allowed to speak for a town of over 3,000 people."

Yes--it's the new form of bullying.

But on Sunday, it all changed. The Second Brigade Motorcycle Club showed up at the memorial park. The club is dedicated to "honoring veterans from all ages." The members man the park daily, protecting the 18 new crosses that now stand where a single cross once stood.

One biker known as "Wrong House" (sounds like a Twitter handle) said that "the club's decision to protect the memorial isn't about promoting one religion over another. This is what soldiers do out in the field . . . it's about our veterans . . . That is what we support, this is what the community supports and we're here to back that up."

I wonder how many FART members are veterans. 


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Fart Fresheners and other Stuff

ahh the pause
Originally uploaded by Rob Hoey

I was like wow, okay, so here`s the idea I had in bed last night, where I was attempting to sleep in a room that was cold enough to cool off my refrigerator. A battery powered battery charger. The problem with it seems to be the fact that once the batteries are charged, the ones in the charger are discharged, or low, so you`d have to use the charged batteries in the charger. It kind of sounds like the way our budget deficit and bailouts are working, but that`s another story. It was clearly a night for my brain to go into the invent mode. If there was just some way for the charger to charge the batteries it was charging to finish the job before those batteries discharged, then I would make a fortune. That`s the rub.

Another thing I thought about in bed: notice how annoying it is for the person sleeping next to you to have to deal with you when you`re coughing and she`s trying to sleep. What about a cough muffler? You know, something you could wear over your mouth that quiets your cough and maybe even helps you to breathe at the same time. And while we`re at it, a fart freshener wouldn`t hurt. Imagine, you`re lying in bed, your spouse gets up to pee, and you cut a deadly one loud enough for the neighbours to hear, (and you live in the boondocks)and the smell could peel paint off a Bradley tank. But instead, she comes back to bed and she notices a pleasant minty odour that reminds her of the great outdoors, and maybe gets her to agree to go ice fishing with you, which may or may not be what you want, so perhaps you need choose another fresh scent like jasmine or honeysuckle in order for your ice fishing to be what you really want it to be: a drunk-fest with your buddies at the lake where there are no kids that belong to you, and no responsibilities.

So now that you`ve come up with some of the best ideas of the century, and you want to blog them, but you want as many people as possible to get to your blog, what to do, as my lovely Indian wife would say. You find the best keywords to use for the Googlers of the world to hit upon. And the best keyword in the world is just something I happened to think about lying in bed while I was thinking about fart freshener and such. That keyword is “keyword.” Yep, it`s that simple. Keyword is a word on every keyword list and that should mean that the entire planet will see your blog, and you will get the hits and the advertisers will pay you the big bucks that will change your miserable life so you can go ice fishing with your buddies and not have to worry about fart fresheners, cough mufflers, and battery powered battery chargers. See, it all works out in the end.