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| Eric Swalwell: the man who brought you Fang Fang and the "Fart Heard Round the World" |
Oh, here we go again, folks, another day, another unhinged meltdown from the fever swamps of the Democratic Party. Fox News political analyst Lisa Boothe nailed it this weekend, breaking down the left's collective freakout over President Donald Trump's bold move to finally give the White House the upgrade it has been begging for amid the ongoing government shutdown drama. Because nothing says screwed up "priorities" like screeching about chandeliers while the border's wide open and the economy's roaring back to life under Trump 2.0.
Enter Rep. Eric Swalwell, the "Make Believe Ballroom" California Democrat who's still smarting from his 2020 primary flop and that whole Fang Fang spy scandal and his televised fart we all pretended to forget. Swalwell's out here playing kingmaker for 2028, declaring that the next Democratic presidential hopeful better treat Trump's magnificent new White House ballroom like it's the Death Star. He wants it turned to rubble on inauguration morning, or don't even bother showing up to the clown convention they call a primary.
"Don’t even think of seeking the Democratic nomination for president unless you pledge to take a wrecking ball to the Trump Ballroom on DAY ONE," Swalwell wrote on X on Saturday.
Enter Rep. Eric Swalwell, the "Make Believe Ballroom" California Democrat who's still smarting from his 2020 primary flop and that whole Fang Fang spy scandal and his televised fart we all pretended to forget. Swalwell's out here playing kingmaker for 2028, declaring that the next Democratic presidential hopeful better treat Trump's magnificent new White House ballroom like it's the Death Star. He wants it turned to rubble on inauguration morning, or don't even bother showing up to the clown convention they call a primary.
"Don’t even think of seeking the Democratic nomination for president unless you pledge to take a wrecking ball to the Trump Ballroom on DAY ONE," Swalwell wrote on X on Saturday.
Swalwell's office ghosted Fox News Digital when asked for a follow-up. Shocker. Probably too busy practicing their wrecking-ball swings in a San Francisco safe space.
Funny how it's okay for the left to make rubble out of the White House, but when Trump does it to rebuild a ballroom, it's outrageous.
Now, let's talk about this "Trump Ballroom" that's got the blue-check brigade clutching their pearls like it's the end of Versailles. For the first time in its 200-plus-year history, the people's house is getting a proper formal ballroom: a sprawling 90,000-square-foot masterpiece rising where the East Wing once squatted, all funded by President Trump himself and a cadre of private donors to the tune of $250 million. No taxpayer money, mind you, because unlike the grifters in the Biden-Harris clown car who blew billions on beachfront bunkers, Trump's keeping it classy and crowdfunded.
Back on July 31, White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt dropped the mic with the announcement, laying out why this isn't just bling, it's necessity wrapped in elegance. "The White House is currently unable to host major functions honoring world leaders in other countries without having to install a large and unsightly tent approximately 100 yards away from the main building's entrance," Leavitt said, adding the new ballroom will be "a much-needed and exquisite addition."
Picture it: 650 seated guests under crystal domes, classical architecture that screams American grandeur, no more embarrassing pop-up circus tents like we're hosting a state fair for sheikhs and senators. The White House has never had a formal ballroom before. Can you imagine FDR or Reagan settling for a glorified lean-to? But leave it to the woke warriors to turn a triumph into a tragedy.
And don't get me started on the haters whining about the demolition photos, because, newsflash, progress sometimes means saying goodbye to the outdated. Construction kicked off earlier this month, and it's already got the Trump magic touch.
But wait, there's more!
Now, let's talk about this "Trump Ballroom" that's got the blue-check brigade clutching their pearls like it's the end of Versailles. For the first time in its 200-plus-year history, the people's house is getting a proper formal ballroom: a sprawling 90,000-square-foot masterpiece rising where the East Wing once squatted, all funded by President Trump himself and a cadre of private donors to the tune of $250 million. No taxpayer money, mind you, because unlike the grifters in the Biden-Harris clown car who blew billions on beachfront bunkers, Trump's keeping it classy and crowdfunded.
Back on July 31, White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt dropped the mic with the announcement, laying out why this isn't just bling, it's necessity wrapped in elegance. "The White House is currently unable to host major functions honoring world leaders in other countries without having to install a large and unsightly tent approximately 100 yards away from the main building's entrance," Leavitt said, adding the new ballroom will be "a much-needed and exquisite addition."
Picture it: 650 seated guests under crystal domes, classical architecture that screams American grandeur, no more embarrassing pop-up circus tents like we're hosting a state fair for sheikhs and senators. The White House has never had a formal ballroom before. Can you imagine FDR or Reagan settling for a glorified lean-to? But leave it to the woke warriors to turn a triumph into a tragedy.
And don't get me started on the haters whining about the demolition photos, because, newsflash, progress sometimes means saying goodbye to the outdated. Construction kicked off earlier this month, and it's already got the Trump magic touch.
But wait, there's more!
Trump's not stopping at the ballroom. He's sprinkled gold accents throughout the Oval Office and Cabinet Room like the Midas of MAGA, because why not make the people's workspace look like the winner's circle it is?
He's unveiled a towering new monument, the "Arc de Trump," a "walk of fame" lined with portraits of our greatest commanders-in-chief, including a cheeky autopen snapshot standing in for Sleepy Joe's "tenure" as a not-so-subtle reminder of who the real placeholders were.
He's unveiled a towering new monument, the "Arc de Trump," a "walk of fame" lined with portraits of our greatest commanders-in-chief, including a cheeky autopen snapshot standing in for Sleepy Joe's "tenure" as a not-so-subtle reminder of who the real placeholders were.
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| Joe Biden |
Stone pavers now grace the Rose Garden lawn, banishing the mud-pit vibes forever, and two massive 88-foot flagpoles fly Old Glory higher than ever, a middle finger to the flag-burners and kneelers who've tried to dim our shine.
Trump's office gold? The Oval looking like it belongs to a president who actually wins wars and deals, not doodles on classified docs.
This is legacy-building, pure and simple—the kind of bold, unapologetic patriotism that makes the White House worthy of its name again. And Swalwell? He's just the latest sad sack auditioning for the role of village idiot, demanding Dems swear an oath to undo it all because... Trump bad. Folks, if that's their litmus test for 2028, the GOP's got four more years in the bag. Pass the popcorn—and maybe a hard hat for the next round of Democrat demolition derbies.
Trump's office gold? The Oval looking like it belongs to a president who actually wins wars and deals, not doodles on classified docs.
This is legacy-building, pure and simple—the kind of bold, unapologetic patriotism that makes the White House worthy of its name again. And Swalwell? He's just the latest sad sack auditioning for the role of village idiot, demanding Dems swear an oath to undo it all because... Trump bad. Folks, if that's their litmus test for 2028, the GOP's got four more years in the bag. Pass the popcorn—and maybe a hard hat for the next round of Democrat demolition derbies.
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