Ms. Gaga's dogs recovered as dog walker slowly recovers from gun shot

Ls La Land, CA -- The two French bull dogs belonging to Lady Gaga that were poochnapped at gunpoint on Wednesday were returned unharmed to police late Friday night. 

One of the three critters got away at the scene but Gaga's professional dog walker, Ryan Fischer, didn't--he was shot in the chest and is currently hospitalized. His family says that he is expected to make a full recovery.

The Associated Press reports that an unnamed woman, who apparently was not involved in the poochnapping, took Koji and Gustav to the LAPD Olympic Community Station. A Gaga spokesperson confirmed to police that the critters were indeed Gaga's. It is not known how the woman came in possession of the canines.

Stefani Germanotta [aka Lady Gaga] posted a $500,000 reward for the safe return of he beloved dogs stating on Instagram: “My beloved dogs Koji and Gustav were taken in Hollywood two nights ago. My heart is sick and I am praying my family will be whole again with an act of kindness. I will pay $500,000 for their safe return. Email KojiandGustav@gmail.com to contact us. Or, if you bought or found them unknowingly, the reward is the same. I continue to love you Ryan Fischer, you risked your life to fight for our family. You’re forever a hero.”

According to details released by the Los Angeles Police Department, Fischer was walking Gaga’s three French bull dogs when he was confronted by two suspects who demanded the dogs at gunpoint. He was then shot in the chest by one of the suspects in the subsequent struggle, and the two scumbags drove off in a white Nissan Altima with two of the dogs.

Los Angeles Police Department released the following descriptions of the suspects:

Suspect-1 is described as a male black, 20-25 years of age, blond dreadlocks, wearing a black hoodie, and armed with a semi-automatic handgun.

Suspect-2 is further described as a male black, 20-25 years of age, wearing dark clothing.

After posting these descriptions, the woke mob canceled the LAPD for using a full description of the suspects rather than a woke depiction: 

Suspects 1 and 2 both appeared to be male but it is unknown as to how they personally identify. They wore dark clothing and one wore a hoodie and carried a scary semi-automatic handgun. 

If you should happen to come across these individuals, do not approach them; instead, call California Social Services.

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Did a Trump supporter steal Gaga's dogs? A curious FBI wants to know

Although the LAPD is leading the investigation into the theft of two-thirds of Lady Gaga's dogs, the Democrats' FBI, believing that former President Trump's people might be involved, are looking into the incident.

If it turns out the perpetrators are Trump supporters, this could lead to a third impeachment hearing on the former president, according to Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA), who says that, "The influence this evil orange man has had on the American public can never be fully realized or over estimated. Trump must be held responsible for this heinous crime, and the fact that all throughout his presidency, a very large asteroid will be rocketing very close to our planet and for which he has done nothing about it, but has chosen to leave it to our current Commander in Chief to handle the problem, is appalling and is a clear indication that he is guilty. Guilty, I tell you."

"Impeach Forty-Five plus a few months!" shouted Rep. Maxine Waters into a tinny microphone.

So the FBI will do all it can to determine whether the kidnapping of Lady Gaga’s dogs was politically motivated because she was "brave enough to sing songs at President Joseph Robinette Biden's inauguration."

What the FBI may be overlooking, however, is that the dognappers simply wanted Gaga's French bulldogs or that they simply didn't like her singing, or discovered the dog walker voted for Donald Trump. 

Ms. Gaga has offered a $500,000 reward for the return of her pooches.

Oh, and the dog walker was shot in the chest and is expected to make a full recovery.

The popular breed's small dogs can fetch between $1,500 and $5,000 depending on how rich the buyer is. Dog walkers can fetch $8 to $20 for a walk-poop-fetch stick.

It's good to know the FBI will keep their nose to the ground and sniff out leads.

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Gaga's Papa pleads for public's help to find her pooches that were puppy-napped

Papa and Gaga

La La Land, Calif. -- Lady Gaga's papa is pleading for the public to help him find his daughter's dog that was stolen by "creeps," as he referred to him in the plural. The dogs are French bulldogs and go by the names Koji and Gustavo but answer to the names "Hey Boy," and "Who's a Good Dog?" They also respond positively to Kibbles and Bits.

Joe Germanotta, the father of Ms. Gaga, spoke to Fox News Thursday morning about the terrible double tragedy. Luckily for Gaga, she has another dog that is still in her care and hopefully it is providing the comfort she so desperately needs over this terrible event.

"Our whole family is upset and praying Koji and Gustavo are not harmed," Joe Germanotta told the outlet. He went on to ask the public to "[H]elp us catch these creeps."

The critters in question were being walked by Gaga's dog walker a 30-year-old male. Germanotta said that he is a "friend" of the family's. At the time of this post, the dog walker's condition is unknown by Germanotta as his first priorities are the dogs.

By the way, the dog walker was shot in the chest with a semi-automatic handgun and the LAPD Public Information Officer Jeff Lee said that the LA Fire Department transported him to a local hospital.

"Horrible people in LA," Germanotta continued. "Shooting someone in order to steal dogs is wrong," he revealed.

Ms. Gaga, who sings songs for a living,  is offering a $500,000 reward for information about her dogs' whereabouts. 

Anyone with information on the case are asked to email KojiandGustav@gmail.com.

Police say the shooting took place around 9:40 p.m. in the 1500 block of North Sierra Bonita Avenue.

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A Test for Liberals

Next time a liberal tells you how Obama is doing a wonderful job, there's no point arguing with them.  Like the saying goes, "talking to a liberal is like talking to a wall."  Of course not all liberals are stupid--there are plenty who have yet to be born, and if many of these unborn libs have lib parents, there's a good possibility they might be aborted if they're inconvenient.  But you might consider asking a few questions that just might get the ones who have been born to think--or is the idea of liberal and thinking an oxymoron?  Anyway, here are some questions you might try:

1. Who is Lady Gaga?  I always like to start off with an easy one for those with small minds.   Not only will they know who Ms. Gaga is, they will know things about her that a normal person would consider too personal to share beyond their spouse.  Then follow up with: 

2. Where is Camp Bastion? It's in Afghanistan, but you knew that because you don't watch Chris-I-Get-Myself-Jiggly-for-Obama-Matthews; you probably watch Fox.

3. Can you name one of the two Marines killed at Camp Bastion three days after the 9/11/2012 attack of our consulate in Benghazi, Libya? That's probably unfair to ask because even most conservatives don't know that Lt. Col. Christopher Raible and Sgt. Bradley Atwell were the marines who were murdered by Islamic orthodox jihadists, but ask the liberal anyway.