Democrats Hail Maine Senate Candidate As “Perfectly Mainstream” After Discovery Of Nazi Tattoo

AUGUSTA, ME — Maine Democrats have rallied behind Senate candidate Graham Platner after a series of troubling revelations confirmed he possesses the exact level of moral confusion required for modern political office.

Platner, an oyster farmer and Democrat now favored to replace retiring Gov. Janet Mills as the party’s Senate nominee, has surged ahead of incumbent Sen. Susan Collins despite what political analysts described as “a truly inspiring collection of internet-era red flags.”

Among the resurfaced controversies are old Reddit posts in which Platner appeared to blame rape victims for failing to “take responsibility” for their own vulnerability, telling users, “How about people just take some responsibility for themselves and not get so f**ked up they wind up having sex with someone they don’t mean to?”

Campaign staff later clarified that the remarks were merely part of Platner’s broader platform of “empowering women through regret prevention.” Yeah, sure.

But Democrats reportedly became even more excited after voters learned Platner spent nearly twenty years proudly displaying a Nazi SS Totenkopf tattoo across his chest.

“Look, he said he got the tattoo while drunk in Croatia and had absolutely no idea it was connected to the Nazis,” said one campaign spokesperson. “And honestly, who among us hasn’t accidentally commemorated one of history’s most infamous genocidal regimes during a beach vacation?”

Sources confirmed Platner only covered the tattoo after it became a campaign issue, and cowardice, which aides insist demonstrates “personal growth” and “a strong commitment to polling data.”

The campaign faced additional scrutiny after archived Reddit posts revealed Platner enthusiastically praised a Hamas raid that killed Israeli soldiers in 2014.

“From a strictly professional standpoint, this was a damn fine looking and successful raid against a superior opponent, I dig it,” Platner reportedly wrote while reviewing graphic combat footage online like a man auditioning for the world’s worst TED Talk.

Democratic strategists quickly moved to reassure voters that admiring Hamas operations, sporting Nazi imagery, and blaming sexual assault victims were all “complex, nuanced positions” requiring deeper understanding.

“Frankly, we’re proud to support a candidate willing to challenge outdated taboos like condemning terrorists or recognizing obvious fascist iconography,” said one party official. “This is what courage looks like.”

Meanwhile, party leaders stressed that the real scandal was not Platner’s comments, tattoo, or apparent admiration for Hamas tactics, but rather that Republicans continued to “politicize” them.

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At press time, Platner had reportedly announced plans to heal divisions by unveiling a new campaign slogan: “Believe Women Unless Reddit Gets Archived.”

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Israel on fire--not an accident

Haifa, Israel -- Tens of thousands of Israelis are being evacuated from their homes as wildfires rage in various parts of Haifa, with a population of about 300,000. The fires are also threatening homes near Jerusalem and the West Bank.

One minister said that about half of the fires were "apparently arson," but this has not been confirmed by law enforcement.

No deaths or serious injuries have been reported but the national ambulance service say about 35 people have been treated for smoke inhalation as hundreds of military reservists have been activated to help fight the three-day outbreak.

Schools, kindergartens, retirement homes and the University were evacuated.

The Mayor of Haifa, Yonah Yahav told Channel 2 TV that there was some evidence that one of the fires began when "someone tossed a cigarette in an area full of oil and flammable fluids" in an industrial area.

Highway 443 linking Jerusalem and Tel Aviv was closed to morning traffic on Thursday after another fire reached the city of Modi'in.

About 300 students were evacuated from a school in a settlement known as Talmon, and homes and cars were damaged in the blaze.

Cyprus, Italy, Russia, Croatia and Greece have sent help and equipment, including aircraft, to help tackle the blazes.

Four Palestinians have been arrested and are to appear in court on suspicion of starting a bonfire 'negligently'.

"Almost 50% of the fires are apparently arson," Internal Security Minister Gilad Erdan told Army Radio. 

Education Minister Naftali Bennett, the leader of the Jewish Home party, Tweeted (in Hebrew): "Only those to whom the country does not belong are capable of burning it."

The Arabic-language hashtag #Israel_on_fire began trending and most of the tweets expressed pleasure and satisfaction over the outbreak of fires.

Here's a question: if being Islamophobic in America is considered to be racist, why isn't being anti-Semitic also being racist?


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Ivanka Trump--is she the reason Donald doesn't go after Putin

Back in August, Ivanka Trump, the eldest daughter of Donald Trump, vacationed with Rupert Murdoch's ex-wife, Wendi Deng Murdoch, and Wendi is reportedly dating a guy named Vladimir Putin. He happens to be the same Putin that Donald spoke highly about during his campaign and also happens to be the President of Russia.

Wendi and Ivanka have been friends for years, and Ivanka posted a photo of her and Wendi.

Wendi was the person who introduced Ivanka to her eventual husband, Jared Kushner, says People Magazine.

Back in March of this year, the rumors flew about Wendi and Vladimir close relationship, but she denied ever meeting him in person.

Ivanka and Jared evidently traveled to Croatia over the summer with their three children where Wendi joined them. This came at a time when Donald expressed his admiration for the Russian dictator, and it was learned that others in his campaign and advisers have Russian ties.

Paul Manafort, Trump's former campaign manager, worked as a consultant for the deposed, pro-Russian Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovych. 

After the Croatian vacation Ivanka and Jared hung out on a yacht with Hollywood billionaire David Geffen, a Hillary Clinton supporter and close buddy with Obama. Geffen is a big money donor to the Democratic party.

Luckily for Donald, he is still a total "outsider." 

Geffen, who is openly gay, gave money to Obama's campaigns and "donated the maximum amount allowed to both Sanders and Hillary," reported The Daily Mail. He has referred to Hillary Clinton as "an extraordinary, smart, accomplished woman," and when pressed said her biggest accomplishment was her uterus.

So what does all this mean in terms of Donald Trump kissing up to Putin?

I'm not sure and I'm not going to speculate.

What I do know is that Donald Trump and his family of "Trumpettes" are not "outsiders" anymore than Donald Duck is a fish. 

Trump is certainly not a conservative, but insofar as the Supreme Court is concerned, he is the only chance the GOP has of remaining relevant and the country remaining a constitutional democracy. 

Because as sure as the sun will rise, the Supreme Court will swing so far over to the left, it "will make your head spin," as Trump might say. 

Believe me, folks.




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