Harry sells his rifle collection to keep Meghan happy

Prince Harry, who some are unfairly calling "Princess Harriet," sold his custom-made hunting rifles in order to please his wife actress Meghan Markle, according to U.K. tabloids.

“A fellow hunter bought the pair of prized Purdey firearms, thought to be worth at least £50,000, in a private deal,” The Sun reported.

“Harry learnt to shoot as a child and once killed a one-ton buffalo,” the news outlet reported. “But Meghan is opposed to hunting and pals hinted the Duke of Sussex would give up to appease her.”

He also gave up three gallons of future testosterone.

Sadly, Harry, 35, did not attend recent shoots at Balmoral and Sandringham, according to The Sun. “He sold his two British-made guns five months ago — before he and Meghan, 38, quit the UK for a new life in North America.”

“He bought them because he wanted them, not because they belonged to Harry, but he was quite chuffed when he found out,” a friend of the anonymous buyer said. “They are beautiful examples and he’s very pleased with them but he’s not the sort of person who wants to boast about the royal connection.”

Conservationist ape fan, Jane Goodall, 86, said last week that Harry would likely stop hunting to please Meghan, rather than Meghan understanding Harry's love of hunting and support him.

Goodall told Radio Times Harry and brother Prince William “were champions of the natural world.” “Except they hunt and shoot,” she added. “But I think Harry will stop because Meghan doesn’t like hunting.”

What Goodall doesn't understand is that both things can be true at the same time: you can love the natural world and also love to hunt and shoot. If it was not for hunters and the money that goes into hunting licenses, there would be a devastation of wildlife from the lack of land afforded to the animals. And unless you're a strict vegan, you have nothing to say about people who hunt for sport and food.

Harry and Meghan announced they were leaving their royal duties behind to become financially independent in January. About a week following their bombshell announcement, Queen Elizabeth II financially cut off the couple and stripped away their titles.

“Harry, Meghan and Archie will always be much loved members of my family,” the Queen said in a statement, adding that she “support[s] their wish for a more independent life.” But more likely, she was only referring to Harry and Archie; Meghan is her Jughead.

As noted by U.K. outlet Express in January, Harry was also forced to give up his military titles when he chose the royal split. “Prince Harry, who made a career in the Armed Forces before he met Meghan Markle, will also lose some of his military titles,” the report outlined. “Prince Harry enjoyed 10 years in the Army, leaving in 2015.”

Harry “was the Captain-General of Royal Marines, Honorary Air Commandant Royal Air Force Honington, and Commodore-in-Chief of Small Ships and Diving,” Express said. “As his grandmother is the head of the Armed forces in the UK, the Queen can strip Harry of his titles.” 

And Meghan can strip him of his manhood. [Google "orchiectomy."]

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A very, very Rev. wants prayers for Prince George to be gay

London -- A selfish Anglican minister is urging his flock to pray that a 4-year-old boy grow up to be gay, like him. The boy is Prince George, the elder child of Prince William and is third in line to the throne. The Very, Very Rev. Kelvin Holdsworth (I wonder what he thinks is worth holding) wants his freaking flock to pray that Prince George finds the love "of a fine young gentleman" when he grows up so as to advance a cause the Very, Very Rev. holds dear to his heart: the cause of same-sex marriage in church.

The Very, Very Rev. is known as a gay, gay rights campaigner and an Islamic apologist, as he makes contentious gestures for his causes.

The call to prayer comes just days after Prince Harry, an obvious heterosexual and war hero and George's uncle and fifth in line to the throne, announced his engagement to Meghan Markle of "Suits" fame.

Holdsworth just had to once again put a spotlight on the role of non-traditional royal romance with the Prince George request.

There is no reason to believe that Prince George will turn out to be gay as it is statistically improbable, although not very improbable. 

Prince Harry and Ms. Markle are to marry in May at St. George's Chapel at Windsor Castle. It is only since 2002 that the Church of England has permitted church marriages for divorced people, "in exceptional circumstances" at the discretion of the parish priest because marriage is supposed to be forever (LOL). 

Ms. Markle was married to Trevor Engelson in 2011 and divorced in 2013.

Holdsworth, who is remarkably selfish, wrote: "A royal wedding might sort things out remarkably easily, though we might have to wait 25 years for that to happen. Who knows whether that might be sooner than things might work out by other means." Which, when you get right down to it, is to the Very, Very Rev's. advantage.

It's bad enough you can't watch a Netflix original series without a token gay couple in it, now we have the Church of freaking England getting into the act.

I have nothing against homosexuality, but normalizing it by sticking it in our faces all the time makes the effort too obvious and objectionable.

Holdsworth has caused a rift among some in the religious community. For example, in January he permitted a reading from the Quran, the Muslim holy war manual, during a service that included a rebuttal that Jesus Christ was the son of God.

WTF! Why doesn't the Very, Very Rev. convert to Islam?

The Much More Rev. Gavin Ashenden, a former royal chaplain, called Holdsworth's comments unchristian.

Duh--of course they were.

"To pray for Prince George to grow up in that way" is to "pray in a way that would disable and undermine his constitutional and personal role," he told Christian Today, an online news provider, particularly when part of the expectation of George's role would be "to produce a biological heir with a woman he loves."

But Holdsworth is too selfish to let that little thing get in the way of his personal goal.

"It is an unkind and destabilizing prayer," Mr. Ashenden said. "It is the theological equivalent of the curse of the wicked fairy in one of the fairy tales."

Ooh . . . he said 'fairy.' That's racist.



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The Baby's Name Will Be

Howdy, world 

The royal baby was born today. Prince William stayed at St. Mary's Hospital in London, for the birth. The chances are excellent that the baby will be named George, in honor of George Zimmerman. But Phillip and Charles are also possibilities, in honor of Phillip Morris Cigarettes and  Charles Schwab, respectively. Who knows? The doctors are now in the process of removing the umbilical cord and the silver spoon from the baby's mouth.