Kim Jong Un readies NoKo for nuclear attack on US , SoKo

North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un has demanded his hermit kingdom be ready to launch a nuclear attack as he accuses the U.S. and South Korea of carrying out military drills with U.S. nuclear assets, according to his propaganda media.

Kim's shoulder-rolling, ball-grabbing bravado carried by state media KCNA, came after his country launched a short-range ballistic missile toward the sea on Sunday. The missile streaked across the electricity-poor country and killed many fishes off its east coast, according to South Korean and Japanese assessments. They reported the missile traveled about 500 miles.

Kim oversaw the test. He was never very good at taking tests in school but said this exercise improved the military's war capability and highlighted the need to ensure its readiness posture for any "immediate and overwhelming nuclear counterattack" through performing such exercises. 

KCNA quoted the fearless chubster as saying the North "urgently" needed to bolster up its nuclear war deterrence exponentially as the enemies "are getting ever more pronounced in their moves for aggression against" his country, as if anyone cares to take it over.

"The nuclear force of the DPRK will strongly deter, control and manage the enemy's reckless moves and provocations with its high war readiness, and carry out its important mission without hesitation in case of any unwanted situation," Kim said.

The U.S. and South Korea have been carrying out military exercises as both country's navies and marine corps began their first large-scale Ssangyong amphibious assault exercises on Monday for the first time in five years. This will go on until April 3rd.

Kim views these exercises as a dress rehearsal to invade his country.

In another dispatch, KCNA said more than 1.4 million North Koreans have forcibly 'volunteered' to join or re-enlist in the military to fight against South Korean and US troops – up from some 800,000 enlistees reported over the weekend.

"Volunteer or die!"

Tweet

Kim Jong Un has agent face firing squad for Googling 'Kim Jong Un'

If you google Kim Jong Un you would learn that he wasn't a very good student at the Liebefeld Steinhölzli state school in Köniz near Bern, Switzerland. His grades actually kind of sucked and he is very protective over all the information one might find on Google.

Kim is so protective, in fact, that a North Korean agent who actually did google his name is now facing a firing squad. At least he isn't being sent off on a pogostick in a minefield, I guess.

The fact is, nobody in the hermit kingdom is allowed to use the internet without authorization from the big guy--no, not Biden--Kim.

But this poor guy isn't the only one caught surfing the web as several others from the regime's hush-hush Bureau 10 have been caught with their pants down surfing the web--figuratively, of course.

The regime does all it can to keep its citizens from learning about the outside world and this even includes its agents.

A secret source said the agents were ratted out by a colleague in a Dwight Schrute [of The Office] type of move. The rat was from the Ministry of State Security who didn't get the job belting out "Sound of Music" parodies on YouTube.

And while searching the web in North Korea is really wrong for those who bought green bananas and expect to eat them once they're ripe, falling asleep in a meeting headed by the supreme leader for life and a Dennis Rodman buddy, can make you the moving target for anti-aircraft gun practice.

The secret source said: 'Bureau 10 departments are given access to the internet, which had allowed agents to turn off their search word recording devices and search the web as much as they like without issue.

"But after a new bureau chief took over, even these previously routine issues have turned into major incidents." 

Even public whistling or carrying a happy tune can get you ten hard ones in the NoKo slammer.

Greg Scarlatoiu, director of the Committee for Human Rights in North Korea, said the regime's information firewall was falling apart. "Even the most trusted agents of the Kim regime are now attempting to access information from the outside world," he said.

And then the secret source told of even worse atrocities that cannot be mentioned here, but use your imagination as to what one can do with a decent pair of pliers, dry ice, and jalipiños while listening to 'The Greatest Hits of Tiny Tim.'

Tweet

NoKo defector had anthrax antibodies in his system

He ran as if his life depended upon it--and it did. The North Korean defector who took five bullets was discovered to have traces of anthrax antibodies in his system, a local South Korean television station reported Tuesday.

For his family's protection, the soldier's name is not being disclosed. He is believed to have either been exposed or vaccinated for anthrax, a truly serious bacterial disease. He reportedly became immune to anthrax before defecting.

This may indicate that North Korea is planning on using anthrax for its military ambitions. If so, it's a war crime and Kim Jong Un would be in trouble.

"Anthrax antibodies have been found in the North Korean soldier who defected this year," an unnamed South Korean source said in an official capacity to Channel A. 

This news comes in the wake of earlier reports that North Korea was beginning tests to mount anthrax onto their intercontinental ballistic missiles, capable of reaching the U.S.

The tests were used to determine whether anthrax could handle the intense heat and pressure it would undergo on an ICBM.

The Japanese newspaper Asahi reported that "North Korea has started experiments such as heat and pressure equipment to prevent anthrax from dying even at a high temperature of over 7,000 degrees generated at the time of ICBM's re-entry into the atmosphere. In part, there is unconfirmed information that it has already succeeded in such experiments."

So say what you will about President Trump, but he's dealing with an evil lunatic who must be stopped.


Tweet