Judge Reminds Democrat Congresswoman She Does Not Have a Congressional Get-Out-of-Jail-Free Card

She looks like a Flip Wilson fan

NEWARK, NJ--A federal appeals court has delivered a devastating blow to Jersey girl Rep. LaMonica McIver’s innovative legal theory that being a member of Congress comes with a complimentary immunity package.

The three-judge panel ruled Wednesday that McIver is not immune from prosecution over her memorable May 2025 encounter at Delaney Hall, an ICE detention facility that left federal immigration officers allegedly getting a little too much congressional “oversight.”

McIver had argued that her arrest interfered with her legislative duties, apparently under the increasingly popular Washington doctrine that congressional oversight means showing up at a federal facility and allegedly getting physical with the people guarding it. Yeah, getting arrested tends to interfere with the arrestee's job.

The court was not impressed.

In a statement, McIver said the court “got it wrong” and that she is “exploring every possible option.”

“To protect the people, their elected representatives must be authorized to conduct oversight of the executive branch without fear of retaliation,” the socialist said.

McIver was indicted on three counts stemming from her May 2025 visit to Delaney Hall with other leftist lawmakers. Prosecutors allege that she physically clashed with law enforcement officials during the confrontation.

The facility had already become something of a pilgrimage site for activists determined to demonstrate that the best way to protest immigration enforcement is to try to interfere with it.

McIver now faces the unfortunate realization that federal law does not contain a special congressional exemption reading, “Members of Congress may do whatever they want, particularly if they are really passionate about it.”

If convicted on all three counts, McIver faced up to 17 years behind bars. Fortunately for her, she will likely receive the traditional Washington welcome package of suspended sentences, probation and enough community service to make everyone feel that justice has been served without anyone having to miss too many congressional votes. 

Consequences for thee, but not for she.

The ruling serves as a useful reminder to lawmakers everywhere: Congressional immunity may protect you from certain things you say on the House floor.

It apparently does not protect you from the consequences of allegedly assaulting federal agents in the parking lot. But we will need to wait and see what the consequences are for her illegal actions.

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Illegal Immigrants at NJ ICE Facility Launch Bold Hunger Strike Demanding Better Food, Faster Release, And Perhaps A Participation Trophy

NEWARK, NJ—In a shocking display of intestinal fortitude (or lack thereof), roughly 300 illegal immigrants at Delaney Hall, a private ICE detention center, have bravely refused to eat since Saturday, May 23, to protest such unimaginable horrors as spoiled food, inadequate medical care, overcrowding, and the soul-crushing inconvenience of being detained after entering the country illegally.

Sources say the courageous strikers are demanding better treatment, speedier hearings, or immediate release so they can get back to the important business of whatever it was they came here to do. Organizers described the conditions as "basically Auschwitz with worse Wi-Fi," though witnesses noted the facility still provides three meals a day, meals that are apparently not quite up to the standards of a Michelin-starred sanctuary city restaurant.

Border Czar Tom Homan, unfazed as usual, offered the following compassionate, empathetic response:"Look, I've done this since 1984. Hunger strikes never work," Homan said. "We're not going to change what we do because someone goes on a hunger strike. As a matter of fact, if it gets bad enough and the physicians feel like they're putting themselves in extreme danger, medical danger, then we'll force-feed them. We'll get a court order and force-feed them."

"Hunger strikes do not work. So they can put themselves in a position where they're not eating, but it's not going to cause them to be released," he said. "We are going to continue to arrest people. We'll continue to detain people. As far as complaining about ICE contract facilities, well, guess what? We're building our own warehouse facilities. We will have the federally-owned detention facilities by the thousands of beds. So look for the future."

"And I've said from day one, we need to own more of these facilities when we operate them on federal land," he added. "And that way, we're not dealing with all this crap from the local politicians and the state and the governors because this is a federal facility on federal land. That's the direction we need to go to. And that's the direction we're heading in."

At press time, the hunger strikers were reportedly considering escalating their protest by dramatically sighing and rolling their eyes, while Homan reminded everyone that the border is secure, deportations are happening, and maybe next time just don't get caught.

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