USC Bans the word "Field" plus 16 more offensive words that gives folks the vapors

The following is not meant to be taken seriously, at least in total. After you read the satirical reasoning, it's hoped that you will come up with your own crazy leftist censorship of common everyday language. Please do not be offended by my sarcasm/satire, but the Left has finally lost what was left of its collective mind.

The University of Southern California's Suzanne Dworak-Peck School of Social Work (GO PECKERHEADS!) is banning the following racist or sexist words:

mankind, field, black, brown, color, thug, bro, brah, s'up, grades, defendant, monkey, ice skating, cotton,  nap, "pull the trigger," manly, mankind,  American, abort.

Now let's look at why these words should never be used by those of us with true sensitivity to our species

1. mankind: don't be stupid--I already used "species" as a substitute and don't you feel better already that I didn't offend your sensitivities? 

2. field: according to the Peckerheads of USC's Suzanne Dworak-Peck School of Social Work, field is "anti-black" and "anti-immigrant." This is mainly due to the way the fightin' Peckerheads see these two groups: as people only capable of maintaining menial agricultural work bailing hay, using a manure spreader, shucking corn, picking cotton and the like.

3. black: should never be used by whities, but people of color and LGBTQI+&498 folks can use the word.

4. brown: see 'black'. 

5. color: if you use the word color it proves you see color and all that people with color have needed to endure in this racist country.

6. thug: this word is an insult to blacks and undocumented persons of long walks.

7. bro, brah, s'up: are all words that white supremacists [e.g., all Republicans] attribute to black folks. There are plenty of decent white folks, [aka Democrats, communists, socialists, progressives, Trump haters] who address each other or greet each other with those words and maybe a fist-bump.

8. grades: using mathematical comparisons to determine the success of one individual over another is racist, plain and simple.

9. defendant: that's just racist, bro, you feel me?

10. monkey: everyone knows this is racist. I don't need to mansplain to you.

11. ice skating: only white people ice skate except for a few NHL players born in Canada or some other frozen hell-hole.

12. cotton: back in the day, the black man and woman worked in the field picking cotton for the man. The mere mention of cotton, or even the boll weevil, is a racist trope.

13. nap: while some try to defend this word and attribute it to taking rest in the middle of the day, the word really connotes the false narrative that certain groups of people are lazy and don't want to work. 

14. pull the trigger: while it is supposed to mean to go forward with an action, everyone knows it's racist and accuses young black men and a few young black women, of gangland shootings and other crime.

15. manly/mankind: it's sexist. Period.

16. American: why does the USA get to say "American" and not South America, or even that hell-hole of frozen wasteland, Canada? Sure, Justin Trudeau [aka Latka] speaks French, but he also speaks American English. So we need to stop calling ourselves Americans and call ourselves Land O' States.

17. abort: while the word means to stop something, such as a mission or a flight,  it is also often used in referring to the stopping of the life of a baby in the mother's womb. It's therefore offensive, not only to this writer, but to G_d.

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Why Chelsea Handler, et al, suck

Don't you love it when some irrelevant jerk makes the bold statement that no matter how many times Melania or Donald asks, they refuse to dress her or have him speak on their radio program, a program where the station is located in places with names like: Beaversuck, Montana, or Fartwafter Creek, New York.

Someone with one such program named Chelsea Handler (hopefully she doesn't have a brother named Richard) took a shot at Melania saying that she wouldn't interview the First Lady because "she can barely speak English."

Handler, a proud high school graduate with no college, is known to speak two languages, one of which is Pig Latin, while Melania speaks five: English, French, German, Italian and Slovene.

I can't judge her on any language but English, but I find Melania quite understandable. In fact, Handler's accusation reminds me of one made about my India-born wife who attended an English Medium School as a kid. 

She too speaks five languages, including English, and worked with a public school system as a social worker. One of her colleagues asked her: "Are the children able to understand you?"

The young lady who asked the question was eventually fired from the job for similar conduct to another worker of color. 

The point I'm making is that it's always the person who focuses on individual differences that has the biggest problem with them. That's why liberals always pull the race card or gender card--they might as well call them the "Individual Differences Card."

The irony of the Handler thing is that Melania never offered or asked to be on her radio program just like she didn't ask Tom Ford, Marc Jacobs or Philip Lim to design any clothing for her. 

If you read Handler' tweets, you will see just how mean-spirited she is . . . and how unfunny.

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Chelsea Handler 

✔@chelseahandler

Trump said Melania will give two or three more speeches… Hopefully an interpreter will be present.

4:51 AM - 28 Oct 2016

 
•  445445 Retweets
 
•  3,1973,197 likes

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Chelsea Handler 

✔@chelseahandler

Tim Kaine delivered a speech entirely in Spanish. Still easier to understand than Melania.p

9:12 PM - 4 Nov 2016

 
•  1,0021,002 Retweets
 
•  5,7605,760 likes

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Chelsea Handler 

✔@chelseahandler

Sounds like he learned how to say China from Melania. #debate

9:46 PM - 19 Oct 2016

 
•  450450 Retweets
 
•  2,3702,370 likes

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Chelsea Handler 

✔@chelseahandler

Hopefully someone is explaining all this to Melania right now. #Debates

9:42 PM - 9 Oct 2016

 
•  2,1472,147 Retweets
 
•  7,5737,573 likes

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Chelsea Handler 

✔@chelseahandler

@karen_snowdy @MELANIATRUMP just as soon as she learns how to speak English

11:00 AM - 19 Jul 2016

 
•  2929 Retweets
 

•  123123 likes

Eshay indkay ofway uckssay.


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GOPer sounding like Biden re: Indian accent

Bangor, Maine -- Governor Paul LePage said that foreign workers are being used in restaurants, and it's hard to understand them. He said this after he criticized a referendum proposal to raise the state's minimum wage to $12.

LePage said it's hard to understand workers "from Bulgaria" and added that workers from India are "the worst ones."

Then vot?

Well take it from me, a guy who's married to an Indian, you can understand them if you listen to their words. India is the largest foreign English-speaking country in the world, and they also happen to be among the hardest working people I know.

I wish LePage was a Democrat instead of a Republican because I like to think the left is more prejudice than conservatives. 

LePage gave the disclaimer people tend to give when making xenophobic or racist remarks.  He said that Indians are "lovely people but you've got to have an interpreter." 

When my wife was working as a crisis counselor for kids, a young woman who worked with her asked, "Do the kids understand you when you speak to them?" This sounds remarkably like something from the LePage playbook. 

Let me be clear--my wife is understood completely by everyone she talks to and has never had a problem being understood. She learned English in India as a young girl in an English medium school. He vocabulary and enunciation is better than people born in the USA, certainly better than Bernie Sanders. To question her like that young lady did was rude and obnoxious.

The good news--the woman was eventually fired for another stupid statement she made with prejudicial undertones.


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Is it Winter Yet?

I love my new city
Originally uploaded by Rob Hoey

The weather report:
"Chance of rain tomorrow with a possibility of ice pellets . . ."

Ice pellets? WTF??? We never had ice pellets in New York City. Maybe some frozen rain mixed with snow and junk, but ice pellets sounds so pernicious--like destruction is imminent and cattle will die, and people will be stuck in the house watching Oprah or Judge Judy. Ice pellets is totally Canadian and it shivers me timbers just to hear it. Is it even a weather term?

We've been trying to keep the heat down in the house because I've heard the heating bills will be astronomical and will continue to rise over the next 20 years. In fact, some politico has figured it to the penny, according to a local radio station I listen to (and called into once). If a politician can predict hydro bills over a score of years, then he or she is sleeping with someone at the power plant and is getting kickbacks in the process.

And that's another thing, talking about words. People from Canada say pro-cess, not process. Pro as in the prefix of the word 'professional', with a cess at the end. We in the USA say process differently. It's almost a prah sound as in prahcess. But when you think of it, Canadians are saying it correctly and I, after all this time, realize that we've been saying it wrong in the states. Prahcessed cheese, for example, is really processed cheese. In both cases it's high in cholesterol, and we both agree on how to say that, and that it's bad fer ya. 

In any case, we hang out in my office and use the computer there, along with my laptop because it's cheaper to heat just the office. We put the heat on about (Canadians say 'aboot' and I don't care if you believe me or not) a half hour to an hour before going to bed and it warms the room just fine. Then I shut it off as we crawl under fifteen pounds of blankets, sheets, and more blankets. In the morning, it's almost cold enough to freeze my urine as I run like a gazelle to the bathroom (Canadians call it a washroom and I saw a dude at the mall today who peed and then didn't wash), and do what I do best after awakening.

So Canada has humbled me. That's a good thing. We should all experience being humbled, I believe that humility is good for the soul. It's part of the prahcess of becoming an adult.

Sports

openman
Originally uploaded by Rob Hoey

I went to the gym today. Yes, I went for my workout on the treadmill, the universal, dumbbells, crunchy pad thingy and other machines whose names escape me as do many memories of late.

But no complaints.

So I worked up a sweat, met a guy who looked about my age and turned out to be four years younger, so maybe I have poor judgment, or maybe I look younger than I am.

I took Steve with me--left him in the trunk of the car and he waited patiently for me to get pumped and sweaty--and when I returned to Doug, (he's my car, of course), I went for peanut butter and paper towels at the Metro across from the Hunt Club Community Centre (that's the way they spell center here) and put it in the trunk and took out Steve. The photo of the guy catching the football was taken by Steve, my Nikon D300. I watched the game for a while and shot photos to put on Flickr, and then went home to a television-less house while Thasneem worked. Now I know that this information is not important to you--but think about it (in Canada they say "aboot" or perhaps "a boat," it sounds a lot like that), some dude made a skillion billion dollars inventing Twitter so all of us twits can tell each other what they had for breakfast, what they're doing at the moment, oops, they just farted, and so on--so maybe this photo of the park, and my time in the gym, and my buying peanut butter with paper towels isn't going to change the face of mankind anytime soon, but it beats the crap out of Twitter.