Is it Winter Yet?

I love my new city
Originally uploaded by Rob Hoey

The weather report:
"Chance of rain tomorrow with a possibility of ice pellets . . ."

Ice pellets? WTF??? We never had ice pellets in New York City. Maybe some frozen rain mixed with snow and junk, but ice pellets sounds so pernicious--like destruction is imminent and cattle will die, and people will be stuck in the house watching Oprah or Judge Judy. Ice pellets is totally Canadian and it shivers me timbers just to hear it. Is it even a weather term?

We've been trying to keep the heat down in the house because I've heard the heating bills will be astronomical and will continue to rise over the next 20 years. In fact, some politico has figured it to the penny, according to a local radio station I listen to (and called into once). If a politician can predict hydro bills over a score of years, then he or she is sleeping with someone at the power plant and is getting kickbacks in the process.

And that's another thing, talking about words. People from Canada say pro-cess, not process. Pro as in the prefix of the word 'professional', with a cess at the end. We in the USA say process differently. It's almost a prah sound as in prahcess. But when you think of it, Canadians are saying it correctly and I, after all this time, realize that we've been saying it wrong in the states. Prahcessed cheese, for example, is really processed cheese. In both cases it's high in cholesterol, and we both agree on how to say that, and that it's bad fer ya. 

In any case, we hang out in my office and use the computer there, along with my laptop because it's cheaper to heat just the office. We put the heat on about (Canadians say 'aboot' and I don't care if you believe me or not) a half hour to an hour before going to bed and it warms the room just fine. Then I shut it off as we crawl under fifteen pounds of blankets, sheets, and more blankets. In the morning, it's almost cold enough to freeze my urine as I run like a gazelle to the bathroom (Canadians call it a washroom and I saw a dude at the mall today who peed and then didn't wash), and do what I do best after awakening.

So Canada has humbled me. That's a good thing. We should all experience being humbled, I believe that humility is good for the soul. It's part of the prahcess of becoming an adult.