ISIS 'White Widow' believed killed

Sally Jones (aka "The White Widow") was one of the most  notorious Islamic State recruiters. She used to be a British punk rock person but now she's most likely just a pile of burnt meat.

It is highly likely that Jones, 50, and a mother of two, was killed in June by a U.S. strike in Syria. 

Jones converted to Islam, fled to Syria and became a top recruiter for the Islamic State crap weasels, but a drone strike ended her career near the border between Syria and Iraq.

May she rest in pieces.

"The Americans zapped her trying to get away from Raqqa. Quite frankly, it's good riddance," a British source familiar with the drone strike told the Sun, the media outlet first to report on the rapper-turned-scumquat's death.

Jones will now be with her husband, Junaid Hussain, who was killed in an airstrike in 2015 as part of a larger campaign against ISIS. Jones and Hussain were often called "Mr. and Mrs. Terror" and were linked to numerous terror plots.

Sadly, Jones' 12-year-old son Jojo Jones was also believed to have been killed in the strike and will never get the chance to blow himself up in front of others.

"The premise that Sally Jones and her son are dead is probably accurate," an unnamed British official told The Times of London. 

Jones, being the wonderful mother that she was, used Jojo as a human shield during skirmishes with anti-ISIS forces (aka we infidels). Her last sighting was of her running like a dog from Raqqa after U.S.-backed forces liberated that sleepy little town.

Jones was top priority on the U.S. "send 'em to hell list" and was a high-value target as a top female recruiter, particularly of young girls. She lured them into Syria to become jihadi brides (aka sex slave baby makers), and used Twitter and other social media to threaten Britain with attacks.

Jojo was not targeted by the U.S. military strike and wasn't considered a combatant yet. He was just with the wrong mother at the wrong time. But, according to the Times, Jones used Jojo in a propaganda video where he was seen shooting an ISIS hostage in the back of the head.

Perhaps it was an innocent mistake on Jojo's part, but many say that, like his mother and father, he will not be missed.

So I guess you could say, "It's a rap."


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ISIS hacker of "kill list" got himself killed

Ah the irony . . . it's beautiful.

The honcho of a notorious ISIS hacking group that distributed the so-called 'kill lists,' must have put his own name on the list accidentally because, well, he met with an accident when a U.S. drone strike turned him into chop meat. 

Osed Agha was head of United Cyber Caliphate (UCC) a hacking group of ISIS when out of the sky came a mighty drone with its own 'kill list' that had Osed's name on it, and badahbing! problem solved. 

The drone strike happened in Raqqa, the Islamic State's wannabe caliphate. Initially, his fellow scumcrumpets were skeptical of his death but the group's Telegram channel posted a video on Thursday saying "Our leader Osed Agha has been killed by a U.S. airstrike."

This has not yet been confirmed by the White House but President Trump has been busy undoing the mess he was handed.

"For all you do, this one's for you"

The UCC frequently posts 'kill lists' with names and addresses of Americans that don't pray 5 times a day facing Mecca. Much of the data comes from publicly available databases, but there's disagreement as to the danger it poses rather than it simply being a way to scare unarmed Americans.

Funeral arrangement for Agha will be posted online. The family requests that all donations be made in the form of firearms and unused Korans.

A video message also urges Islamic extremists to continue Agha's 'work' and displays a U.S. flag followed by an explosion and the word "soon." Many of us see that as ISIS's wishful attempt at victory similar to Hillary Clinton's wishful website of her having won the election.


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