DMX (Earl Simmons) dead at 50: but his rapping will live on

DMX, a rapper who rapped the song "What My Bitches Want" among other catchy rap words set to a stereotypical rap beat, took too many drugs, ended up in a "vegetative state," and died at the age of 50.

DMX grew up in Yonkers, NY and was the father of 15 kids. In spite of the immense responsibility that meant, he continued his struggles with drug addiction and legal problems and was not even close to being Father of the Year. But he was surrounded by family in the intensive care unit of a White Plains hospital, his family reported.

The rapper came close to death after overdosing on a “powdered substance” in the parking lot of a Westchester County hotel in 2016.

DMX's fame started with his top of the charts 1998 rap song "It's Dark and Hell is Hot." Here are some of the lyrics:

One two one two, come through run through
Gun who, oh you don't know what the gun do
Some do, those that know are real quiet
Let me think you wanna try it, fuck around and start a riot
Niggas gonna buy it, regardless because I'm the hardest
Rap artist and I'ma start this
Shit up for real, get up and feel, my words
I make herbs split up and squeal
Ill, is all I've been hearing lately
Niggas hate me, wanna duck tape me and make me
Put their brains on the wall, when I brawl
Too late for that 911 call
Niggas stay beefing but a lot of them bluffing
But not me because I'ma nigga that can get out of them cuffs
You think a lot of them tough? That's just a front
When I hit them niggas like 'What you want?'
The battle turns into a hunt
With the dog right behind niggas chasing 'em down
We all knew that you was pu**y
But I'm tasting it now
And never give a dog blood, 'cause raw blood will have a dog bite
Biting whatever, all up in ya gut
Give it to them raw like that
And ain't no love I do 'em all like that
Four right up in they back (Clack, clack)
Close your eyes baby, it's over
Forget it, happened in front off your buildin' but
Nobody knows who did it
(What)
Where my dogs at?
What what
Where my dogs at?
Where my dogs at?
What what
Where my dogs at?
Where my dogs at?
What what
Where my dogs at?
Where my dogs at?
What what
Niggas is pussy
Keep 'em running from the Werewolf, oh
Howling at the moon on the roof
Eh, ah, no, get 'em
Ten niggas on him, hope God's with him
Give me the bat, let me split him 

He also climbed to the top of the charts again with “What These Bitches Want,”

And while his music will be missed by his fans, he will be missed even more by his kids.

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Kim Jong-un in "grave danger" following surgery--may be brain-dead for real this time

North Korea's evil but cutely chubby dictator Kim Jong-un is reported to be in "grave danger" following surgery, the Communist News Network (CNN)
reported Monday. As is typical of CNN, they cited an anonymous U.S. source with direct knowledge of the situation. However, one can understand why you'd want to be anonymous when it comes to Kim--the guy killed his uncle with a freaking anti-aircraft canon.

There have been rumors of the obese dictator’s declining health in recent days, after he reportedly missed the country’s most important political holiday last week — the birthday celebration of Kim Il-sung, his beloved evil grandfather and founder of the communist tyranny.

NBC’s Kathy Tur sparked further speculation after deleting a tweet citing two U.S. officials who purportedly claimed that the authoritarian is “brain dead.”

“North Korean leader Kim Jung-un is brain dead, according to two US officials. He recently had cardiac surgery and slipped into a coma, according to one US current and one former US official,” she wrote in the now-deleted tweet.

She later added that she deleted the tweet “out of an abundance of caution.”

South Korea is reportedly investigating the reports of the fat tyrant’s condition, but officials from South Korea’s Unification Ministry and National Intelligence Service have not been able to confirm the report, according to the Associated Press.

Bloomberg News’s Jennifer Jacobs also reported late Monday evening stating that the Trump administration “received information that Kim Jong Un had heart surgery last week and if he’s alive, his health is poor.”

It is not known as to whether Kim is a bat-eater or a muncher of monkeys, but you never know in the hermit kingdom about what's going on or what's being eaten, if anything.

“It’s unclear to US officials if he’s dead or alive,” Jacobs continued.

“Trump administration officials are looking into who would be in the line of succession if Kim Jong Un dies or is already dead, I’m told,” she added.

Bruce Klinger, a senior research fellow at the Heritage Foundation and a former CIA deputy division chief for North Korea said, “There have been a number of recent rumors about Kim’s health (smoking, heart, and brain). If Kim is hospitalized, it would explain why he wasn’t present on the important April 15th celebrations.”

“But, over the years, there have been a number of false health rumors about Kim Jong-un or his father. We’ll have to wait and see,” he added.

If he is indeed deader than those sea scrolls, the next step North Korea will take will be very interesting and very important.

Meanwhile, this story is developing.

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Mo Morsi is dead: what killed him?

Mohamed Morsi is dead--he died in a courtroom and nobody knows what killed him.

Mo, as his friend calls him, was the former president of Egypt and a Muslim Brotherhood terrorist supporter who was removed forcibly from power by the military in 2013. He was standing trial for espionage when he collapsed and croaked during a Monday court session, according to state television.

The 67-year-old Islamist dictator was in court when poof, he blacked out and then died.

His body was taken to a hospital where he was pronounced dead because he was.

Morsi was the head honcho in Egypt's Muslim Brotherhood, the largest Islamist group. In 2012 he was elected president in Egypt's first free elections the year after Hosni Mubarak was ousted the previous year.

But, in 2013 after Egyptian citizens realized the blunder they made electing the lunatic Islamist, the military ousted him and totally crushed the MB in a nationwide crackdown. Morsi and many other MB leaders were arrested.

Morsi doing a David Letterman impression

He had been serving a seven-year prison sentence for falsifying his candidacy application for the 2012 presidential race, according to Reuters.

While some people mourn the death of Morsi, he's going to be okay. He gets to hang out with 72 women in a land where the rivers flow with wine, the young, beautiful boys do your bidding for you, no matter what you want from them, and your wife gets to watch.

The cause of death is not yet known and is under investigation.

My final words to Mo:

Keep your knees loose, Mo, and give 'em a low silhouette against the crescent moon. And if you want to be a duck, don't be a sitting duck . . . keep moving.

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Head ISIS Scum Crumpet confirmed dead

Lt. Gen. Stephen Townsend, a top U.S. General overseeing the war in Iraq against ISIS and Syria has no idea if head crap weasel Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi is dead or alive.

"Quite honestly, I don't know," Townsend said. "I hope he's deader than a doornail. If he's not, as soon as we find out where he is, he will be."

Doornails are known to be among the deadest object on earth and none have ever made it back to the world of the living.

The Syrian Observatory for Human Rights (SOHR) told Reuters on Tuesday that it has "confirmed information" from Islamic State sources [who never fib] in the sleepy little town of Deir al-Zor that Baghdadi has died, but didn't specify when.

But Townsend noted that Baghdadi has been reported dead more than once in the past leading highly religious Islamists to posit that he must have come back from death to carry out the work of Allah.

"The Russians some weeks ago claim to have killed him in an airstrike," Townsend said. "I've received some reporting since then that suggested he was not killed there by the Russians, but I don't know," he said as he steepled his fingers in thought. "Since then, we've heard all kinds of reporting that he's alive, that he's dead."

During the interview Townsend said, "I don't have a reason to believe that he's alive. I don't have proof of life, you know." A reporter pressed him about whether it was his "assessment" that Baghdadi had indeed died.

Townsend leaned slowly into the camera and said, "I. Don't. Have. A. Clue."

If Baghdadi, a PhD from the Islamic University in Baghdad, is dead, it would be a blow to ISIS, but Townsend said he isn't sure it really makes a big difference in the larger scheme of things.

"I suppose it probably doesn't really matter if no one knows if he's alive or dead," Townsend said. "Someone is guiding ISIS, the organization. And what we have seen with all these paramount leaders is you take them out, and someone else steps up."

"It would make me feel better to know that he was dead," he added.

UPDATE: at approximately 2:30 p.m. ET, SOHR confirmed that al-Baghdadi is dead.

"(We have) confirmed information from leaders, including one of the first rank, [ISIS territory] in the eastern countryside of Deir Ezzor" Rami Abdulrahman, the Director of SOHR told Reuters.

But this hasn't been confirmed by Amaq, the official news agency of ISIS.

SOHR's sources didn't say how or when al Baghdadi died, but he was supposedly living in the Deir Ezzor are for the last three months.

The Pentagon, Kurdish and Iraqi sources immediately said they couldn't corroborate the SOHR report.



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CNN: "Bertha is dead because of Trump"

Bertha, thinking about her lost mate

Manila -- Bertha, the world's oldest hippopotamus has died at the Philippine zoo. Bertha, who was best known for her poor eyesight and olympic-size poops, has quietly passed away at the age of 65.

The 4,500 pound Bertha was found in her prison-like enclosure Friday. A post mortem examination concluded that the hippo, the zoo's oldest resident, even older than the turtles, had died from multiple organ failure, according to zoo director James Dichaves. 

"Bertha was among the pioneer animals here. Her mate died sometime in the 1980s and the couple failed to produce any offspring," Dichaves said.

It was understood that Bertha and her mate were often at odds with each other over her failure to bare a baby hippo. 

However CNN believes that President Trump was secretly involved in the animal's death and have two anonymous sources to put him in Manila at the time of Bertha's death.

Zoo officials have not confirmed this but they agree that a man with a plan and hair "that looked like the deck of an aircraft carrier" was seen sneaking around Bertha's enclosure a few days ago--around the same time Trump had Ivanka stand in for him at the G20.

"He coulda made it to Manila and offed the fat hippo while his daughter held his seat," CNN's anonymous source, who we will refer to as Vinny Boombots, said.

Bertha arrived at the zoo in 1959, the same year that "Bozo the Clown" a live children's show, premiers on TV, and Swiss men vote against voting rights for women. Sadly, the zoo lost Bertha's records of where she was born.

Sounds like a Democratic situation.

Donna (no relation to Donna Brazile) died in 2012 at age 62 at the US Mesker Park Zoo and Botanic Garden in Evansville, Indiana. She was said to be the world's oldest hippo if you believe the media reports at that time.

Bertha's death touched off a wave of sympathy on social media by people who get along better with animals they've never met and who often anthropomorphize them when they have met.

Animal rights group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) criticized the zoo's "cruelty" for having "imprisoned" Bertha and preventing her from doing what she loves best: running and crapping around the jungle and doing her level best not to get eaten by predators.



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The Blind Sheikh to get 72 virgin seeing-eye dogs

The blind sheikh is dead. 

Sheikh Omar Abdel-Rahman, the scum cleric linked to the 1993 World Trade Center truck attack that killed 6 infidels has died in federal prison. He unfortunately lived to be 78.

Abdel-Rahman was an Egyptian orthodox Muslim who had a world following even while he was in the slammer for over 20 years. He finally finished serving his life sentence as he died at Butner Federal Medical Center in North Carolina (GO Blue Devils!)

The Federal Bureau of Prisons confirmed Abdel-Rahman's journey to Jahhah (Islamic heaven, thought to be laden with rivers of wine, boys who tend to every need and virgins galore) Abdel Rahman died at approximately 5:40 a.m. Saturday of natural causes. 

He has been battling diabetes and coronary artery disease for a long time and Allah finally called him home where he will be receiving 72 mangy virgin seeing-eye dogs for his pleasure.

The Blind Sheikh's son Ammar told Reuters that the family was called by a U.S. representative to start spreading the news.

The man who prosecuted Abdel-Rahman for the federal government told Fox News that the sheikh was globally notorious as the "emir of jihad" long before al-Qaeda and ISIS existed.

"He provided the international jihadist campaign its deep roots in sharia supremacism," he said.

"His scholarly heft made him highly influential, in the deadliest of ways. The only thing he could do was lead [the terrorist organization]--provide it with inspiration and a sense of divine mission. His life is a testament to the centrality of sharia supremacist ideology to the terrorist threat."

Abdel-Rahman lost his eyesight when he was 10 months old and by 11 years old he memorized the Braille version of the Qur'an. People who memorize the Qur'an (aka the Islamic war manual) are known as hafiz.

Rather than going on with some kind of eulogy for this crap weasel, let's all be thankful he's gone to where the goblins go, and Osama bin Laden.

They say people like Abdel-Rahman make great fertilizer.


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Psych-out, Iraqi Army style

If you are an ISIS jihadist and get killed in Mosul, chances are pretty good that you're going to stink, big league, before someone comes along and properly disposes of your remains.

The Iraqi army "warns" ISIS fighters that their dead bodies will be left on the street, rotting, charred, putrifying, fly-infested for all passers-by to see. One body is that of an ISIS fighter lying in open view, an unexploded suicide belt lying nearby.

The Iraqi army thinks that showing potential ISIS jihadists what a dead jihadist looks like in death.

"We will leave the terrorist there," Ibrahim Mohamed told Reuters. "The message is clear to Iraqis, to keep them from joining or supporting [ISIS]. This will be your fate. The Iraqi army will finish you off."

Of course the dead bodies are health hazards and the odor emitted from them makes that guy on the gym treadmill who never bathes smell like roses. The other drawback is that suicide vest could go off.

But the Iraqi army is willing to take the risk.

"We leave them in the street like that so the dogs eat them," Asaad Hussein (not to be confused with Barack Hussein Obama) told Reuters. "We also want the citizens to know there is a price for supporting terrorists."

The territory held by ISIS in and around Mosul has shrunk a lot over the past few months. The roads once easily traveled by taxi early last year are now populated with government checkpoints and bomb craters.

Western Mosul is still controlled by ISIS but is almost totally cut off from territory they hold in Syria. 



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Dr. Heimlich dies at 96

Cincinnati -- Dr. Henry Heimlich, the man who invented the Heimlich maneuver for choking victims, has died at the age of 96.

The death occurred early Saturday at Christ Hospital in Cincinnati, Ohio, after he suffered a heart attack earlier in the week, his son Phil said.

Heimlich was director of surgery at Jewish Hospital in Cincinnati in 1974 when he came up with his famous Heimlich maneuver.

The way the Heimlich maneuver is done is: abruptly squeeze the victim's abdomen, just slightly above the belly button. Push in and up with the fist to start a flow of air for the lungs. That flow can push objects out of the windpipe and prevent suffocation.

This famous maneuver is estimated to have save thousands of lives, but nothing could save Dr. Heimlich on Saturday. And yes, they tried that on him too.

Thank you, Dr. Heimlich.


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Bin Laden, Five Years Later

Oy

It seems just like yesterday that Bin Laden, of the Osama type, has been dead. But five years has gone by and the leader of al Qaeda is not looking good.

But his legacy lives on, even if he doesn't.

This is what a martyr looks like five years after he becomes a martyr. 





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Hugo Rafael Chavez Frias Has Left Us

Hugo Chavez, President of Venezuela since 1999, is dead. He was 58 and was fighting cancer and capitalism--capitalism won. Chavez was a thug and he hated America, but Jose Serrano (D-NY) apparently thought highly of him as noted in a tweet that was discussed on The Five on Fox News Network, but has since been deleted. He tweeted about how the Venezuelan dictator was a humanitarian who was loved by his people (if they knew what was good for them). 

Chavez trying out for NY's Guardian Angels of subway fame

Hugo wanted to be a baseball player. I can see him playing for the Yankees in the Bronx, making millions as a beer belly pitcher, and thinking a bit differently about capitalism once he starts raking in the dough, if he had the talent, or complaining if he were dropped if he sucked as a pitcher.

I can see how the left in the USA will somehow make him out to be a great guy. Maybe they'll even have his likeness on a Cha tee-shirt. After all, Time Magazine listed him as in the top 100 influential people in the world in 2005 and 2006, but let's face it, when Time Magazine has Barack Obama as the Man of the Year year after year, when there were several other men who might have fit the bill just as well, I say Time Magazine  has lost its credibility much like the Nobel Peace Prize. Unfortunately for Venezuela, while Chavez was in power, the homicide rate more than doubled and police corruption was rampant. The country also has one of the highest inflation rates in the entire world.

"I love you, man"

Chavez will be loved by the left because not only did Fidel Castro love him, but Mahmoud Ahmadinejad loved him too. And guess what--the saddest part in this news is the fact that Dennis Rodman will never get the chance to visit Hugo, shoot a few hoops and share body-piercing stories.

With the passing of Chavez, a few nice quotes should help us see the man for who he was:
"I hereby accuse the North American empire of being the biggest menace to our planet."
"I am convinced that the path to a new, better and possible world is not capitalism, the path is socialism."

Because of the fact that Hugo Chavez referred to us as the "Evil Empire," and to G.W. Bush as the devil, I am proud to be part of this empire and to have voted for W. It only reaffirms my conservative beliefs to have a thug like Chavez with an opposing point of view.

God Bless America.

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