President Trump warns that the US is "very close" to making Iran's infrastructure a smoking crater

FRISCO, TX — President Donald Trump announced Wednesday that the United States is now “very close” to replacing Iran’s infrastructure with a large smoking crater after the regime allegedly spent months “tap, tap, tapping” its way through negotiations like a telemarketer trying to extend your car warranty. Is anyone really surprised?

“I may keep going,” Trump told Fox News correspondent Trey Yingst. “They had a chance to sign a deal and survive.”

According to administration officials, Iran reportedly believed it could stall talks indefinitely by recycling the same strategy it used on previous American presidents: smile politely, drag things out for years, collect pallets of cash, and wait for CNN and MS Now to explain why America is the real aggressor and Trump is a bad man.

Unfortunately for Tehran, they are no longer negotiating with the foreign policy genius who gave them the JCPOA and a free pass to chant “Death to America” between uranium enrichment sessions.

“We hit them hard yesterday, and we're going to hit them again hard today,” Trump told reporters at the White House. “And we'll see what happens with the deal. We were really close to a deal, but they keep tapping us along. They keep playing us for suckers because you know what? They dealt with some very stupid Presidents.”

I can't imagine who he is referring to.  

Trump later clarified that by “very stupid Presidents,” he was referring to any commander in chief who thought the Iranian regime could be bribed into becoming Sweden.

“It was just tap, tap, tap,” Trump said. “I don't know what they are doing.”

Sources close to the administration confirmed Iran’s negotiating strategy largely consisted of pretending to compromise while enriching uranium and funding every terrorist organization west of the moon.

Trump also blasted Barack Obama’s nuclear agreement with Iran, calling it “the worst deal.”

“We want a deal that is meaningful, a deal that works. We don't want a Barack Hussein Obama deal, JCPOA, the worst deal,” Trump said, making sure we remember Obama's Islamic-sounding name. “That was a path to a nuclear weapon.”

Political analysts say Democrats were deeply troubled by Trump’s comments because they prefer their hostile Islamist regimes “stable, respected, and flush with American cash.”

Trump warned that a nuclear Iran would spell disaster for the region.

“If they had a nuclear weapon, there would be no Israel, there would be no Middle East, and they would have absolutely shot at us,” Trump continued.

Meanwhile, Trump casually revealed that the U.S. military has apparently been vaporizing Iran’s oil operations while most corporate media outlets remained busy fact-checking whether Trump used an improper verb tense during a rally speech.

“Did you know we've been taking out millions of barrels of oil?” Trump asked. “Nobody knows it. You know who doesn't know about it? Iran. Until right now. We took out, the other night, 22 ships.”

Pentagon officials later confirmed the administration had also launched a secret mission protecting ships through the Strait of Hormuz, resulting in over 100 million barrels of oil reaching global markets safely.

“This wildly successful effort is because the UNITED STATES of AMERICA CONTROLS the Strait of Hormuz — NOT Iran,” Trump wrote on Truth Social. “Their military is defeated, and their economy is lost. It’s over for Iran!”

The Communist News Network [CNN] reportedly responded to the post by immediately assembling a panel of former Obama officials to explain why controlling a strategic global oil route is actually problematic for democracy.

The conflict escalated after CENTCOM launched “self-defense” strikes against Iranian military targets following the downing of a U.S. Apache helicopter near the Strait of Hormuz.

Trump described the rescue of the helicopter pilots as “a miracle,” explaining that an Iranian drone became lodged in the aircraft during the attack.

“It was on fire, it was hot,” Trump said, sounding almost as if he was feeling the heat.

Military experts confirmed this still remains significantly less uncomfortable than sitting through a State Department briefing under the Biden administration.

Iranian officials responded to Trump’s comments by vowing they would “respond to threats accordingly,” which analysts translated loosely as “angrily issuing statements before another military facility explodes mysteriously overnight.”

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth also warned Iran against escalating the conflict further.

“President Trump is seeking a deal,” Hegseth said. “But not just a deal, a great deal on behalf of the American people so that Iran never gets a nuclear weapon.”

At press time, European leaders were reportedly urging “restraint” while quietly hoping the United States continues doing all the work.

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Trump was right about Iran

Western European leaders are finally realizing that President Trump made the right move about getting rid of the Iran nuclear deal. Some of the statements he made on the deal were:

"The fact is this was a horrible, one-sided deal that should have never, ever been made. It didn't bring calm, it didn't bring peace, and it never will."

"At the heart of the Iran deal was a giant fiction that a murderous regime desired only a peaceful nuclear energy program. Today, we have definitive proof that this Iranian promise was a lie."

Diplomats on Tuesday, from the U.K., the Netherlands and France expressed concerns with the Saturday medium-range ballistic missile test Iran performed.

U.S.  officials stated that the latest missile Iran tested could reach Europe and the Middle East.

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, said that the missile could carry multiple warheads and that it violated Security Council Resolution 2231, which instructed Iran to refrain from “any activity related to ballistic missiles designed to be capable of delivering nuclear weapons, including launches using such ballistic missile technology.”

That resolution was the implementation of the 2015 Iran nuclear deal, known as the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action (JCPoA).

President Trump walked away from the deal last May, but China, France, Germany, Russia and the U.K. stayed with the deal.

However, after the missile test, the U.K. and France called a closed-door meeting of the Security Council. The government of France stated that, “France is concerned by the launch of a medium-range ballistic missile by Iran on Saturday. It condemns this provocative and destabilizing act. France reiterates that the Iranian ballistic missile program is not in compliance with UNSCR 2231 (2015). It calls on Iran to immediately cease any activity related to ballistic missiles designed to be able to carry nuclear weapons, including launches using ballistic missile technology.”

Finally, France removed its collective cranium from its deepest recesses of its collective nether regions.

As Fox News reports, the European ambassadors joined in expressing their concern:

U.K. Ambassador Karen Pierce called the actions "part and parcel of Iran's destabilizing activities in the region."

Her words echo U.K. Foreign Secretary Jeremy Hunt, who on Saturday admitted that he was “deeply concerned by Iran’s actions," even as he reiterated support for the nuclear deal to avoid having to look like the U.K. was stupid to go along with it. “Provocative, threatening and inconsistent with UNSCR 2231. Our support for JCPoA in no way lessens our concern at Iran’s destabilizing missile program and determination that it should cease,” he tweeted.

Dutch Ambassador Karel van Oosterom added, “This kind of ballistic missile activity is inconsistent with the JCPoA , especially Annex B which calls on Iran not to engage in these kinds of activities.”

So Trump was right--the deal was a waste of paper and a lot of U.S. currency.

Even French Ambassador François Delattre avowed the test was "inconsistent" with the resolution, and he urged the terrorist nation to "immediately cease any activity related to ballistic missiles designed to be able to carry nuclear weapons, including launches using ballistic missile technology."

To which Iran replied: "Allahu Akbar!"

Still, the group displayed its usual wussyshistic  attitude toward Iran, with the resolution stating it only “calls upon” Iran to stop its ballistic tests instead of demanding a cessation. Adding: "Please don't get mad at us."

On Tuesday, U.S. Ambassador Nikki Haley, in her typically gutsy manner, said the ballistic test was "dangerous and concerning, but not surprising" adding, “The United States has repeatedly warned the world about Iran’s deliberate efforts to destabilize the Middle East and defy international norms. The international community cannot keep turning a blind eye every time Iran blatantly ignores Security Council resolutions. If the Security Council is serious about holding Iran accountable and enforcing our resolutions, then at a minimum we should be able to deliver a unanimous condemnation of this provocative missile test."

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX), whose father did not take part in any assassination attempts said, “The United States has only begun to reverse the damage done by Obama's Iran nuclear deal, which gave the Ayatollahs the resources and diplomatic breathing room to build more and better ballistic missiles. The last round of sanctions, while important, clearly failed to deter Iran from advancing their missile program. It's time to totally cut off Iran from the global financial system and deny them the resources they're using to threaten us and our allies.”

What do you think?


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