Dumb and Dumber arrested after trying to lure cops into an ambush

Birmingham, Alabama -- A black Alabama couple planted a fake bomb at an elementary school with the plan of shooting cops arriving at the scene and possibly robbing a bank.

Zachary Edwards, 35, and Raphel Dilligard, 34, face charges including terrorist threats, rendering a false alarm and possessing a hoax bomb, Capt. Jeff Bridges of Trussville, Al., a town that boasts of the fewest hernias in the south.

The fake bomb was fouhnd outside Magnolia Elementary School on November 16th, prompting responses by the FBI and the ATF (Alcohol Tobacco Firearms and Explosives).

The device contained gunpowder, modeling clay and a timer that "Clockboy" would have been proud of, but it had no detonator. Bomb experts examined the device then detonated it at the scene.

"It looked real enough that it concerned us," Bridges said, adding, "No, not that Jeff Bridges.

The adorable couple, who share the same address, were arrested afterward and told law enforcement what they had planned--that's how stupid they are--they wanted to shoot officers at the school or rob a bank while cops were dealing with the fake bomb.

Experts determined that a Walmart-bought stopwatch was used as the timer and authorities searched for the location of where it was sold.

The man, Edwards, told police he was a member of the Black Panthers and the Black Mafia, Bridges said, but it wasn't verified--he may actually be too stupid to know how to find them.

It isn't yet known if Edwards or Dilligard havea lawyer to speak on their behalf, but they obviously could use anyone other than themselves.

Thankfully, no police or civilians were hurt. Blue Lives Matter.


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Poor Colin Kaepernick has just learned he's oppressed

It has been learned that the NFL's mediocre 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick has been dating Nesssa Diab, an activist whose parents were denied jobs when they came to the US from Egypt because "they have accents." 

Kaepernick, 28 (coincidentally matching his IQ) has made a stand on sitting during the national anthem. He said he will continue to sit until the United States of America stops oppressing black people and other minorities. 

The fact that the failed quarterback can sit with impunity during the national anthem attests to the fact that America does not oppress its people. Let him try protesting and sitting in North Korea and see how quickly Kim Jong Un loads up the anti-aircraft guns and blows away his butt.

So who is this woman Colin is rollin' with?

Diab is a Hot 97 DJ and MTV host. She digs long walks on the beach, Muslim activist causes, Black Lives Matter matters, Colin's tattoos, social activism, the Koran, FGM (as long as it isn't hers), defending Islam, defending Colin, Palestine and lamb chops.

Since Kaepernick began dating Diab, he began posting on social media praising Black Lives Matter and Black Panthers. 

On October 15th, he marked the 50 year anniversary of the Black Panthers on Instagram. His first 128 posts were mostly vanity photos of himself in football gear and publicity photos or those taken with friends. His last 42 posts, however, had 31 strong social justice connotations, with many featuring quotes by Black Panthers founder Huey Newton, Nation of Islam Leader Malcolm X and cop killer Assata Shakur, implying that Kaepernick is a cop-hating racist in his own right.

On a Sunday news conference about his disrespect for the nation's flag and anthem, the benched QB wore a black hat with a large, white "X" and a T-shirt with photos of Malcolm X and murderous despot Fidel Castro, implying Kaepernick is either a moron or is easily manipulated by a Muslim woman named Diab .  .  .  or both. 

Diab spent her impressionable years in Saudi Arabia where you can get 10 years and 2000 lashes. It is also the country that Sean Hannity reminds us nightly that women are not allowed to drive or leave their homes without a male chaperone.

Her father was transferred to Saudi Arabia from a job in California (which he wasn't supposed to get because he has an accent and isn't a white guy--if you believe Diab). She spoke about being in the Kingdom during the Gulf War and how the threat of bombings later colored her impression of American tragedies.

"When 9-11 happened, it didn't surprise me at all," DJ Diab said on the Guy Code Podcast. "Wow. Mmkay. This is what we went through, probably, every couple of months."

The 3000 infidels who died on 9-11 only had to go through it once.

She also posted about Alton Sterling's shooting by police officers, saying "they will also try to discredit the store owner's account of what occurred because he's Muslim and we know Islamophobia is at an all-time high in this country."

There may be a correlation between what Muslims label 'Islamophobia' and the number of jihadist terror attacks--but it isn't a phobia if it isn't irrational.

Diab said her parents were from Egypt and were highly educated but were denied jobs "because they have accents." 

It's never due to the possibility that there may have been more qualified applicants--it's always due to Islamophobia and/or foreign accents. 

That sounds like Ameraphobia to me. Or something worse: Amerahatred.

See, I can make up diagnoses just as well as the Muslim Brotherhood can.

Kaepernick, who knows that his days of being a starting QB are probably over said that he planned further activism beyond the seated demonstration. 

To learn more about his past activism, go here.

Anything for love.


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You Wanna Bet Lynne Stewart Sticks Around for Years?

Judge John Koeltl, a Bill Clinton appointee, has allowed Lynne Irene Stewart to go free from prison. Stewart, the 74 year old disbarred attorney was convicted on charges of conspiracy and providing material support to terrorists.

 Koeltl sentenced her to 28 months in prison and her felony conviction led to the disbarring when she was found guilty of passing messages from Omar Abdel-Rahman, better known as the Blind Sheikh. Rahman, you may recall, is an Egyptian cleric convicted of planning terror attacks, including the bombing of the World Trade Center.  His organization, al-Gama'a al-Islamiyya, was responsible for the Luxor Massacre, which killed 58 tourists and 4 Egyptian policemen on November 17, 1997. In the attack, a 5 year old British child was killed, 4 Japanese couples on their honeymoons, and others from different nations. The killing went on for 45 minutes and the bodies were mutilated, particularly the women. It was brutal and barbaric. (The word barbaric comes from the Barbary Coast where the US Navy fought the Barbary pirates, who, coincidentally, were Muslim.)