FLASH: Al-Baghdadi may have been poisoned

ISIS religious and jihad leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi may be knock, knock, knocking on the Devil's door. He was allegedly poisoned by a visiting angel in Iraq along with three other senior scumcrumpets by the toxin in Al-Ba'aj, southwest of Mosul. 

The four amigos were reportedly been rushed for treatment at a secret location. 

People all over the free world are praying for the men; praying that they die a slow, painful death and take the Marrakesh Express to where your marshmallows always come toasted.

According to FARS, an Iranian news agency, ISIS is arresting several suspects to learn who has struck a blow at the self-proclaimed ISIS 'Caliph'.


Al Baghdadi is the scum who raped and tortured naive and foolish US aid worker Kayla Mueller. She was killed during a Jordanian airstrike on ISIS in February 2015.

If these reports about al-Baghdadi are true, it isn't the only time he has been injured. Last year he was severely hurt in a US airstrike in Syria, but Allah determined that he wasn't ready to cash in on his virgins and young boys and let him live.

But Allah has assured us that when Abu croaks, he will ascend into heaven on a winged horse and there will be a sign for all to see. The sign will simply read: "Mobile."



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Kayla Mueller: Sad and Stupid Death of a 'Useful Idiot'

I know, I know, the title of this post is horrible. How can I say such an unkind thing about a young, supposedly humanitarian aid worker who died while advocating peace, love and harmony? It is highly probable that she was murdered by ISIS, but they claimed a Jordanian airstrike killed her.

Even if ISIS didn't actually kill her, they were the ones who kidnaped her and only have themselves to blame for her death. They are not weeping over her demise.

Selfie Stick It, Mr. Obama

Buzzfeed released a video on Thursday, the day it was learned that ISIS hostage Kayla Mueller was dead. The video shows our so-called commander in chief playing around with a selfie stick, smiling and farting around like a self-important clown in a suit.

Liberals love that Obama is a regular dude. He's just so darn cool, like Nancy Pelosi and Jonathan Gruber.

The Washington Post called the video "cute" and "catchy," but the left also felt the same way about the Froot Loops bathtub scene with Glozell. (I wonder if any of the breakfast cereal she devoured previously, found its way into her nether regions.) The excuse the Washington Post gave for the video was the White House's need to have young people sign up for Obamacare.

Well, if Obamacare is mandatory, why does anyone need to sell it to young people? It isn't like they will not get fined if they refuse to sign up. 

It seems President Obama's sense of timing is as good as his 3-point shot. Remember how 3 minutes after he made his speech about James Foley's beheading, he headed off to play golf? He laughed and giggled with his buddy in the golf cart, like a school girl on a first date.

But while Obama mugs for the camera, the Jay Vee team continues to gain ground. Islamic State jihadists have now seized most of a western Iraqi town. Al-Baghdadi's men have marched on al-Baghdadi where about 90% of this district is under the control of ISIS terrorists of the Islamic persuasion. 

Put that in your tub and drink it, Mr. O.



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