Will Smith goes to India perhaps to work on his anger issues with a guru

Rock-slapping Will Smith has traveled to Mumbai, India [aka Bombay] acting as if nothing could bother him: not his wife sleeping with the pool guy, the Amazon delivery guy, gardener, not even Chris Rock making a harmless joke at the Academy Awards about his wife. Nothing could remove that glowing smile off his once angry, f-bomb spouting mouth.

Smith traveled to Mumbai for unknown reasons, possibly for the food, maybe for the a simple change in scenery. But obviously, he needed to get away and chill after his violent reaction to the Jada Pinkett Smith joke that he originally laughed at until he saw Jada's face.

Smith charged up to Chris Rock and unexpectedly ambushed him with a smack across his face. All Rock was doing was something known as "his job."

This isn't Smith's first India rodeo. He came to the country in 2019 to shoot his reality show "The Bucket List." He met several Bollywood celebrities at the time and also shot a cameo in a song for "Student of the Year 2."

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Perhaps this time he will team up with a peaceful guru and learn ways of dealing with his tight anger and his loose wife. Too bad A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada is dead. Smith may have learned a thing or two.

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If Sean Penn destroys his Oscar over Zelenskyy, I will destroy my road race trophies over climate change

Actor and unintentional comedian Sean Penn threatened to "smelt" his Oscars if Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy is not invited to speak at the self-aggrandizing Academy Awards show. To Penn's credit, this is the highest form of virtue signaling many of us have ever seen. What bravery. What courage. Penn doesn't only pretend to play brave and courageous people, he is willing to destroy his trophies to show the world how brave and courageous he is. Kudos, dude.

"If it comes back to it, I will smelt [my Oscar awards] in public," if the Academy doesn't do what Penn says they must. He told the Comedy News Network (CNN) on Saturday, "I pray that’s not what’s happened. I pray there have not been arrogant people, who consider themselves representatives of the greater good in my industry, that have [decided against checking] with leadership in Ukraine. So I’m just going to hope that that’s not what’s happened. I hope [every attendee] walks out if it is," if they don't do what Penn demands.

Taking my cues from this American legend, I have decided that I will throw all of my running trophies in the garbage to be picked up on Wednesday morning [if they come on time] if Volodymyr Zelenskyy is not invited to speak during the Oscar presentations. I will go so far as to ask someone who will watch the show for me [I don't watch crap] to tell me if he appeared on behalf of the Ukrainian people to demand we establish a "no fly" zone and perhaps initiate World War Three. 

But even more, I will ditch all of these trophies if Greta Thunberg isn't invited to speak at a joint session of Congress about global warming and why we suck. How dare us.

From what I heard about the 94th Academy Awards show, it will be on Sunday evening and some people might watch it. Penn has now said, "it is my understanding that a decision has been made not" to invite Zelenskyy to speak, and the world waits with hope that Penn will smelt what he was dealt in Oscars on live TV, as my wife and my best friend Cecil, wait to see if I will carry out my own self-aggrandizing demonstration of what a great person I am to throw away my running trophies.

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Sex. Now that I have your attention: for more hard-hitting content, and a few soft-hitting ones too, subscribe to Brain Flushings and check out the ads on these pages. It costs nothing to subscribe and it's worth every penny. And remember, every time you click on an ad, you help in the fight against John Kerry's global warming, the heebie-jeebies and the dreaded omicron.

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I may take it a step further and ditch my bowling trophy for breaking 200 at the Holy Split Bowling Center. It's old and kind of broken anyway and collecting dust.

He doesn't mean to be funny, but Sean Penn is a joke all unto himself.

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