If Sean Penn destroys his Oscar over Zelenskyy, I will destroy my road race trophies over climate change

Actor and unintentional comedian Sean Penn threatened to "smelt" his Oscars if Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy is not invited to speak at the self-aggrandizing Academy Awards show. To Penn's credit, this is the highest form of virtue signaling many of us have ever seen. What bravery. What courage. Penn doesn't only pretend to play brave and courageous people, he is willing to destroy his trophies to show the world how brave and courageous he is. Kudos, dude.

"If it comes back to it, I will smelt [my Oscar awards] in public," if the Academy doesn't do what Penn says they must. He told the Comedy News Network (CNN) on Saturday, "I pray that’s not what’s happened. I pray there have not been arrogant people, who consider themselves representatives of the greater good in my industry, that have [decided against checking] with leadership in Ukraine. So I’m just going to hope that that’s not what’s happened. I hope [every attendee] walks out if it is," if they don't do what Penn demands.

Taking my cues from this American legend, I have decided that I will throw all of my running trophies in the garbage to be picked up on Wednesday morning [if they come on time] if Volodymyr Zelenskyy is not invited to speak during the Oscar presentations. I will go so far as to ask someone who will watch the show for me [I don't watch crap] to tell me if he appeared on behalf of the Ukrainian people to demand we establish a "no fly" zone and perhaps initiate World War Three. 

But even more, I will ditch all of these trophies if Greta Thunberg isn't invited to speak at a joint session of Congress about global warming and why we suck. How dare us.

From what I heard about the 94th Academy Awards show, it will be on Sunday evening and some people might watch it. Penn has now said, "it is my understanding that a decision has been made not" to invite Zelenskyy to speak, and the world waits with hope that Penn will smelt what he was dealt in Oscars on live TV, as my wife and my best friend Cecil, wait to see if I will carry out my own self-aggrandizing demonstration of what a great person I am to throw away my running trophies.

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I may take it a step further and ditch my bowling trophy for breaking 200 at the Holy Split Bowling Center. It's old and kind of broken anyway and collecting dust.

He doesn't mean to be funny, but Sean Penn is a joke all unto himself.

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