Green New Deal 'wet noodles' in the Senate

Rep. Alexandria Obviously-Comatose's [AOC] (freshman Socialist-NY) Green New Deal (GND) was brought up to a vote on the Senate floor by Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (D-KY). This upset the socialist author of the deal because she discovered that people took it seriously by reading it and decided to call her out on her stupidity.

The deal is an ultra radical and quite "hilarious" proposal for dealing with climate change by eliminating cows because they fart a lot, and knocking down all the buildings in America and refitting them for zero carbon emissions. It also calls for the elimination of all gas-driven vehicles and airplanes and this is to be substituted with choo-choo trains that can magically travel on water or on an invisible bridge that spans the newly cleaned up planet.

The Senate failed to reach the 60 votes needed to start a debate on the non-binding, silly as a cow fart resolution. In fact, no Democrat voted for it in spite of them touting it as the best thing since Silly Putty on white bread. In fact, 42 Democrats voted "present" because they didn't have the guts to vote for the thing they supported in public.

No senator voted to begin debate on the legislation, while 57 lawmakers voted against breaking the filibuster. Democratic Sens. Doug Jones of Alabama, Joe Manchin of West Virginia and Kyrsten "Allahu Akbar" Sinema, [a Taliban supporter] from Arizona joined 53 Republicans in voting "no." Sen. Angus King, I-Maine, who caucuses with the Democrats, also noted "no."

McConnell put the vote forward so that Democratic senators would have to go on the record about the bat crap crazy measure. He referred to the proposal as "a radical, top-down, socialist makeover of the entire U.S. economy." At a news conference earlier Tuesday, McConnell said he believed that climate change was real and at least partially caused by humans, but said the real question facing lawmakers was, "How do you address it?"

Special Class let out early

[Democratic answer: By destroying the economy, killing all the cows, grounding all the planes, stopping all the cows, knocking down all the buildings, and making AOC the "boss."]

"The way to do this, consistent with American values and American capitalism is through technology and innovation," McConnell said. " ... Not to shut down your economy, throw people out of work, make people reconstruct their homes, get out of their cars, you get the whole drift here. This is nonsense, and if you’re going to sign on to nonsense, you ought to have to vote for nonsense."

Touché, mon ami.

Democrats, led by Senate Minority Leader Chuck "Nostrils Like Tunnels" Schumer, called McConnell's move a "sham vote" that aimed to draw attention away from real debate on the consequences of climate change.

No Chucky--it's a sham proposal that you idiots said you supported. All Mitch did was hold your feet to the fire.

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