Sunday, May 22, 2016

Taliban leader Mullah Mansour likely droned dead-UPDATE

Afghan authorities are now confirming that Taliban dirtbag Mullah Mansour is, indeed, deader than Hitler's flatulence. 

Afghan Taliban leader Mullah Mansour (pronounce Man Sewer) is likely doing 72 virgins right now. A U.S. airstrike is said to have blown his dirty butt to Virgin Come.

The strike was authorized by President Obama and took place along the Pakistan-Afghanistan border near Anmad Wal, a small jerkwater town little known to suicidal tourists.

Mansour was blown away while traveling southwest of Quetta, Pakistan. The strike was carried out by several drones safely operated, far away, in an air conditioned room, by U.S. Special Operations Forces. 

Nobody else was hurt in the operation, not even a mouse.

A U.S. official said that "Mansour killed American soldiers and thousands of Afghans. The world is a better place without him."

His four wives would disagree, as would his goat.

The White House is awaiting official confirmation of Mansour's death so that Obama can take full credit and pretend he has a pair, but he will not do it on camera, possibly due to a conflicting golf engagement.

Mansour was not listed on the State Department's Rewards for Justice list, a placement reserved for our top enemies, but Donald Trump is, according to Hillary Clinton. 

However, there was a $10 million bounty on Mullah Omar, the previous head scumcrumpet of the Taliban (pronounced "Tahleebahn" by our 'Hawaiian-born president). Omar was pronounced dead in 2015 but reportedly died in 2013--it was the odor that gave him away.

Mullah Omar gave Osama bin Laden shelter in Afghanistan and provided him with porn tapes for his holy entertainment.

The Taliban and Al Gore Qaeda "worked closely" in the past, but they don't fit the "official" definition as a foreign terrorist organization as defined by the State Department, who see the problem as a being caused by a lack of jobs.

Members of Congress "high-fived," and spiked Korans after hearing the news of Mansour's demise. 

May he rest in pieces.

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