Michaels Cohen and Avenatti want freedom from Wuhan Virus

United States District Judge William H. Pauley III refused a request filed by Michael Cohen, for early release from his 3-year prison sentence due to his fear over the spread of the Wuhan Coronavirus within the prison system.

Cohen, you may recall, served as President Trump's personal lawyer, but has since been disbarred and can no longer practice law, although he will probably do so in the slammer. He was charged with campaign finance violations and lying to Congress.

Cohen asked the judge for a possible home confinement option on his release but this was not accepted by Pauley, who went on to blast Cohen for the request and suggested that Cohen was simply trying to use the pandemic to attempt to "inject himself into the news cycle." 

But then, of course, he did.

“Apparently searching for a new argument to justify a modification of his sentence to home confinement, Cohen now raises the specter of COVID-19,” Pauley wrote in his response Tuesday as reported by Fox News.  “That Cohen would seek to single himself out for release to home confinement appears to be just another effort to inject himself into the news cycle.”

Judge Pauley also pointed out Cohen’s previous attempt to gain an early release — a cooperation effort during which prosecutors came to believe that Cohen was lying, according to The Associated Press.

“Unable to articulate how he advanced any investigation or prosecution, Cohen and his surrogates make extravagant allegations that the Department of Justice — from the Attorney General down to line prosecutors — acted in bad faith,” wrote Pauley. “Those ad hominem attacks lack any substance and do not trigger the right to remedy or a hearing before this Court.”

As such, Judge Pauley wrote that it was time for Cohen to “accept the consequences of his criminal convictions for serious crimes that had far reaching institutional harms,” and that he disbarred lawyer should stop trying to score early release, reported CNN, in spite of my belief that Trump will win a second term and Cohen will be released before Trump's term ends, and therefore CNN will hire him as another Trump attack dog.

Now we have the other Michael--the Avenatti one.

U.S. District Court Judge James Selna, in Los Angeles, has rejected a plea from convicted lawyer and CNN hopeful for the U.S. presidency, Michael Avenatti, to be released from jail because of the risk he, like the other legal loser aforementioned, could contract the Wuhan Coronavirus.

Avenatti’s claim that a bout he had with pneumonia last September puts him in grave danger if COVID-19 begins to rampage through federal prisons like the Manhattan detention center where he’s currently locked up.

The shyster lawyer was convicted by a New York federal court jury last month on charges of trying to extort the giant corporation Nike and is facing other federal charges in Manhattan and Los Angeles, also contended that his cellmate, who Avenatti was very very fond of, was recently removed after exhibiting fever and a severe cough.

But Selna, who revoked Avenatti’s bail in January based on evidence of extensive financial manipulation, said the health concerns were not adequate to justify his release, and he was just being a scared Nancy boy.

“The Court is mindful of the Covid 19 pandemic,” Selna wrote in a three-page order Saturday. “The Court accepts Avenatti’s showing that the had pneumonia about six months ago. ... However, there is no showing that his cellmate was infected by the virus, and there have been no reported cases of Covid 19 at the New York MCC.”

“There is no basis to release Avenatti on medical grounds,” added Selna, a President George W. Bush appointee. “The Bureau of Prisons and MCC specifically have taken substantial steps to mitigate the effects of the pandemic. MCC has moved ‘at-risk’ prisoners, which presumably includes Avenatti, to a separate unit.”

So Avenatti should stop being a wimp, he implied.

Federal prosecutors opposed Avenatti’s recent request for release, arguing that his risk of infection is “minimal and entirely manageable.”

“Defendant … has not cited any information or evidence demonstrating that defendant, who is an otherwise healthy 49-year man, is at greater risk from COVID-19 merely because he may have had pneumonia six months ago,” government lawyers wrote. “Thus, there is no reason to conclude that defendant’s personal circumstances are meaningfully distinguishable from the vast majority of individuals detained in BOP facilities or would justify the extraordinary relief he now seeks.”

So he, like his soulmate Michael Cohen, do not get special treatment just because CNN's Brian Stelter fell hard for him, and the network thought he would make a great U.S. president. All that shows is their judgment deficits.

The prosecution also said Avenatti’s history indicated that the CNN hopeful was not only likely to defy court orders, but also the statewide lockdown ordered by Gov. Gavin Newsom [aka: "The Human Ken Doll"].

“A person who ignores such admonitions and rules could increase infection rates, leading to severe illness and death. Defendant has shown an unwillingness or inability to follow rules, and a disregard for the welfare of others. Thus, defendant’s failure to follow rules poses particular dangers to the community,” prosecutors wrote.

The only rule Avenatti is likely to follow is the unspoken rule: don't drop the soap in the shower.

Meanwhile, Michael Cohen has reportedly stopped weeping over his incarceration and has become "one of the guys" 

Documents submitted by the government said officials at the Manhattan detention center where Avenatti is located have taken numerous steps to limit the risk of a COVID-19 outbreak, including screening prisoners and staff for fevers, distributing more soap and segregating most prisoners over 55.

However, H. Dean Steward, a lawyer [whose mother wanted to name him something starting with "H" but couldn't come up with anything] for Avenatti, said the conditions at the lower-Manhattan jail known as the MCC are deplorable, like all Trump voters, and are inviting a major COVID outbreak.

"Mr. Avenatti’ s cell contained three rats,"[Moe, Larry and Curly] Steward claimed. "Inmates on one unit were forced to share one toilet among 26 people, and prevented from washing their clothing: prime conditions for the spread, rather than containment, of infectious disease."

Pity the plumber--nobody ever mentions him.

Avenatti’s trial in the New York case involving stealing from Daniels is set to open April 21, but the judge handling that matter said last week it seemed “highly doubtful” it would go forward then due to virus-related suspensions of most proceedings in federal courts nationwide.

Avenatti’s trial on fraud, perjury, tax dodging, and embezzlement charges in the Los Angeles case is scheduled for May 19, but Selna said that will likely be postponed as well.

Avenatti's sentencing on the Nike extortion charges is set for June 17.

He's in big trouble.

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Avenatti even worse than we thought: took money from football fans

So what's new with Michael Avenatti? Well, you know he's in trouble over the Nike extortion situation. He's also in trouble with owing clients and company partners money. 

Now the former future of the Democratic Party is accused of stealing money from dozens more clients than was previously known, according to unsealed documents and interviews with Fox News.

The allegation is that the disgraced porn lawyer directed as much as $1,300,000 in settlement funds, intended for about 170 clients, to go into his own pocket.

On a happier note, the bald-headed stooge is sitting in jail awaiting trial in New York on unrelated, but a serious charge.  

Avenatti is the guy who was lavished with praise, love and admiration by MSNBC and CNN, two of the hardest-hitting cable news companies in the business. Just kidding, they suck. These clowns were hoping for Avenatti [who is also in the clown business] to run against President Trump in this year's election. And Chris Matthews of MSNBC wanted to go out with Avenatti for coffee.

As it turns out, the only thing Avenatti will be running for is the shower room door when Bubba and his crew with tattoos come to greet him.

“We didn’t receive any of that,” Donald Albaugh, an Avenatti client said regarding money he was to receive over a lawsuit against the NFL for which Avenatti represented him. Albaugh said he and his wife, Tracy, went to the 2011 Super Bowl in Dallas but, like hundreds of other ticket holders, had problems with their seats and sued the NFL.

FYI the Green Bay Packers beat the Pittsburgh Steelers 31 to 25.

“The whole thing is so ludicrous,” Arianne Dar told Fox News about taking her son to the game as a graduation present. Dar said she made sure to buy tickets that were not “obstructed view” but they ended up behind a metal pole. “I never heard about a settlement."

H. Dean Steward, a real lawyer, who Avenatti hired to represent him last year, did not immediately respond to a Fox News request for comment. But a guy with only a letter for a first name must be very important, indeed--kind of like H. Allen Smith author of "Low Man on the Totem Pole," and "Life in a Putty Knife Factory," among other things.

The Albaughs and Dar said they each submitted itemized costs to Avenatti and his legal team seeking reimbursement for about $10,000, but they haven’t seen a penny.

In May 2017, Avenatti, representing the ticket holders, entered into an agreement with the NFL for a settlement of about $1,550,000 and a dismissal of all legal claims. However, in March of last year, a search warrant was issued by the IRS of Avenatti's computers and his phones were also seized. It was discovered that he paid out only a fraction of that settlement, according to IRS Special Agent Remoun Karlous.

“Avenatti used the remainder of the approximately $1.31 million dollars [he] and his law firm received from the settlement of the Super Bowl Litigation for [his] own personal and business purposes,” Karlous wrote.

Although Avenatti has not been charged with defrauding his clients in the Super Bowl case, Karlous wrote, “The government will be seeking to admit this evidence at trial on the basis that this criminal conduct falls squarely within and is inextricably intertwined with” an already existing 36-count federal fraud indictment in Orange County, CA.

In one of those charges, Avenatti stood accused of hiding the existence of the NFL settlement from a bankruptcy court dealing with his now-former law firm. Oh my, he is in soooo much trouble. He will never be president, not even president of a condo corporation or a high school science club.

Avenatti’s office manager had witnessed the behavior, Karlous alleged, writing, “In response to a question as to whether she was aware of Avenatti taking money from client funds, [the manager] said that the plaintiffs in the Super Bowl litigation had not all been paid out ... even though there had been money available to pay them.”

Paul Colavecchi said he got money back from Avenatti, but only after his sister, who went with him to the Super Bowl, threatened to report Avenatti to the State Bar of California. None of the Avenatti clients who spoke with Fox News said they saw any paperwork from Avenatti or his firm after the settlement.

Avenatti is facing three criminal cases. Next week he is scheduled to go on trial in New York on charges of trying to extort $25 million from Nike Corp. However, last week the scumwafer was arrested in Los Angeles for allegedly violating his bond, so the timing of the New York case may need to be changed.

Avenatti is also accused of stealing money from pornography film "actress" Stormy Daniels. He represented Daniels in litigation against President Trump over a consensual sex allegation which the president denies and nobody cares about. In his defense, the President referred to Ms. Daniels as "Horseface," intimating that he would never have a sexual encounter with someone who looks like her.

Brilliant defense but it may not get him the women vote this year.


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