Lemon and Griffin both wish they knew how to quit Trump

Strap in for another wild ride through the fever swamps of the left, where conspiracy theories bloom like dandelions in a neglected yard, where Don Lemon and Kathy Griffin don't know how to quit Trump. It's Brokeback Mountain all over again.

In a recent episode of the eponymous Don Lemon Show, because apparently, that’s still a thing, the former CNN talking head decided to cozy up to Kathy Griffin’s tinfoil hat brigade, nodding along as she spun a yarn about the 2024 election being rigged by those dastardly Republicans.

 
Griffin, never one to shy away from a hot take or a career implosion, declared with all the gravitas of a community theater reject, “I’m Kathy Griffin and I do not think Trump won in a free and fair election. I believe there was tampering. I don’t know. I don’t know if it was the Elon [Musk] connection. I don’t know if it was just a few good old boys in the South who didn’t do, you know, I mean what they accuse us of.” 

She has no personal knowledge, no information, only her feelings and the fake severed head of President Trump, to make such an empty claim.

Lemon, who apparently traded his journalist card for a seat at the conspiracy kiddie table, didn’t push back, showing just the kind of "journalist" he was when he had a job. 

Instead, he leaned in, saying, “You’re not far off. I mean I won’t say that I disagree with you… But I’m an evidence person. I’d like to see the evidence. I think something was off, and especially when someone said, ‘oh, we’ve got this.’ And, you know, how do you know that? How do we know we’ve got this? How do you know, or ‘I don’t need your vote’ or anything like that. It’s a little bit odd.” 

Evidence person? Don, the only evidence here is your willingness to entertain Griffin’s unhinged rants without so much as a raised eyebrow. You always cared more for your agenda than the truth.

Not to be outdone, Griffin doubled down, parroting the same tired line about Trump saying, “This will be the last election. We won’t have any elections after this.” 

Lemon, ever the intellectual heavyweight, chimed in with, “’Vote for me, and you won’t have to vote again anymore.’ And also, you know, as you said, every accusation is a confession.” 

Oh, please, Don. This is the kind of deep thought you’d find scribbled on a napkin at a Starbucks in West Hollywood, when you're not shoving your hands into someone's trousers.

Let’s not forget Griffin’s track record. This is the same woman who thought posing with a fake, bloodied Trump head was a personality trait, landing her in hot water with the Secret Service back in 2017. And now she’s out here channeling Rosie O’Donnell, who back in March was also whining about Trump’s win, saying, “I question why the first time in American history a president has won every swing state and is also best friends and his largest donor was a man who owns and runs the Internet.” Because apparently, winning swing states and knowing Elon Musk is a crime now.

Look, if you’re going to cry “rigged election,” at least bring a shred of proof, or maybe just stick to bad comedy and self-owning photo shoots. The rest of us will be over here, living in reality, where elections happen, people vote, and sometimes your side loses. Deal with it, Katty.

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Tim Walz gets his tampon in a twist over Biden question

Walz's lip-sucking response

Failed vice presidential candidate and Minnesota Democrat Governor Timmy Walz really stepped in it on Sunday, didn’t he? 

When Comedy News Network’s Jake Tapper had the audacity to suggest that maybe, just maybe, President Joe Biden wasn’t exactly prime re-election material after that train-wreck of a debate, Tampon Tim pulled out the old trusty deflection card faster than you can say "geriatric gaffe." 

"He made that decision!" Walz yelped, as if that erased the months of Democratic delusion and that includes Tapper's as well.

Tapper, not one to let a squirm go unwatched, nasally pressed on. “Don’t you think your party needs to take responsibility for running Biden when he was clearly not up for the job?” 

Walz, in a dazzling display of wit, basically said, “We may have made a ‘mistake,’ but have you considered Trump’s many sins?” Cue the dramatic pivot to a Twitter clip—because nothing screams accountability like changing the subject.

The question was not about Trump, you dolt!

Tapper, barely containing his eye-roll, hit back with, “I know,” before laying out the obvious: “You all went along with the idea that he was up for it. And he wasn’t. And everybody saw it, and the country rejected it.” 

A moment of silence followed—probably Walz realizing his talking points were as stinky as Biden’s bicycle seat in the summer—before he shrugged it off with a gem of a non-answer: “Yea, well, I — look, history will tell us to go back on that. That very well could be the case, Jake.” Translation: “Oops, my bad, but let’s not dwell on it, m‘kay?” 

Then, because why not, he pivoted to Trump’s tariffs like a man desperate to escape his own party’s mess, and Tapper didn't stop him.

Let’s rewind: Biden bailed on the 2024 election after his allies finally admitted what the rest of us saw—age, incompetence, confusion, incontinence, mental fuzziness, anger, and a general vibe of “maybe not” weren’t winning any votes. 

Enter Kamala Hahahaharris, stage left, with Tampon Tim as her trusty Rockette-style sidekick. Spoiler alert: they lost every battleground state and the election to Trump. 

Fast forward to Walz’s recent pity tour, where he’s been whining that the Democrats landed in a “mess” because they weren’t “bold enough” with their woke word salad, immigration free-for-all, and DEI gospel. Brilliant Timmy--keep up that far left lean and let's see what happens in the next presidential race.

When pressed, Walz doubled down, spinning their immigration stance as some noble bipartisan quest—sure, Tim—while admitting they got too “timid” and didn’t “pass things that improved people’s lives.” Gee, you think? All they did was attack Republicans with no clear plan of what they were going to do if they won.

But the real kicker? Walz, with all the self-awareness of "Gays for Palestine" mused, “I don’t know if I’m the best spokesperson to do it after just losing an election.” 

No kidding, champ. He even turned the knife on himself, saying, “I’m criticizing myself. I own this. I’m part of the ticket. And somebody has to come up with a strategy.” 

Somewhere, a political strategist is weeping into their Starbucks "Venti Iced Caramel Macchiato with an extra shot of espresso, two pumps of vanilla syrup, one pump of hazelnut, light ice, oat milk instead of dairy, a drizzle of caramel on top, oh, and make it quick, but also add a dash of cinnamon because I’m feeling spicy today" coffee, wondering how this guy ever got near a ballot.

Keep doing what you're doing dummies.

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