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Israeli Environmental Protection Minister Idit Silman reclassified crocodiles from wild animals to “cultivated wild animals,” opening the door for them to be used to guard the country’s prisons holding Hamas operatives, a decision that has already sent progressive animal rights activists into a frenzy of pearl clutching over the welfare of the reptiles rather than the terrorists.
The regulation implemented Wednesday allowed crocodiles to be bred by government officials as long as they are held “in conditions determined by the [Nature and Parks Authority] director, to prevent their interference with nature,” the Times of Israel reported.
Finally, a government agency doing something useful with the environment instead of just lecturing people about plastic straws. Israel’s National Security Minister Itamar Ben-Gvir, who pitched the idea last year, celebrated the change online.
“Ministers Ben-Gvir and Silman are collaborating and surrounding the prisons with crocodiles!” Ben-Gvir posted on Facebook Thursday, adding an AI-generated image of himself with a pet crocodile and the caption, “You filthy terrorist, thinking about making a run for it? Think twice.”
Ben-Gvir and Silman have taken inspiration from Trump’s “Alligator Alcatraz” that used the Everglades’s natural alligator population to deter its inmates from escaping, according to NewsNation. Because nothing says justice like borrowing a page from the most successful border security innovator in recent history.
Ben-Gvir hopes that Nile crocodiles will be placed at Ketziot Prison, which hosts many prisoners from Hamas. Nile crocodiles are one of the most dangerous animals in the world, the other is jihad.
SeaWorld notes that Nile crocodiles can grow up to 20 feet long, half the length of a typical school bus, and can weigh over 1,500 pounds. Not only do Nile crocodiles prey on hippos, zebras, or wildebeest, and they are one of the only known reptile species to actively hunt humans. In other words, the perfect match for a group that has demonstrated a similar enthusiasm for hunting humans.
Neta Drori, the Environmental Protection Ministry’s legal adviser, wrote to Silman in June that there is no known precedent of using crocodiles to protect prisons, and noted that crocodile breeding in the past has led to the animals escaping and terrorizing local populations. As if the real terror were the crocodiles and not the people they would be guarding.
“With regard to the use in the United States, it was noted that this was a short-lived trial that was discontinued. It apparently took place in an area where crocodiles already occur in the wild, and there is therefore no basis for comparison,” Drori wrote. “Although Prison Service officials said they are aware of and prepared to ensure the animals’ physical welfare, among other things based on their experience with dogs, the organization apparently has no expertise in raising dangerous wild animals such as crocodiles,” Drori added, concluding that despite the reclassification of the crocodile, Israeli law requires legislative approval of the decision to add crocodiles to the country’s prisons.
Silman has rejected Drori’s opinion, citing testimony from senior officials that the bureaucratic framework allows her and Ben-Gvir to implement the crocodile plan. A rare moment of government officials actually cutting through red tape to do something effective.
The Nature and Parks Authority is expected to meet soon and discuss the legality of Silman and Ben-Gvir’s plan. “The minister is acting contrary to her own legal adviser, contrary to the legal opinion of the Israel Nature and Parks Authority, contrary to the authority’s plenum, and contrary to the law. In other words, there is no legal basis for this,” an official told the Jerusalem Post.
Sources confirm the official then returned to worrying about the emotional trauma the crocodiles might experience while staring down hardened terrorists, however they also agree that Middle East food is delicious.
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