Convicted Teen Killer Claims He's Penniless, Seeks Taxpayer-Funded Lawyer As Parents Quietly Fire Up New Business Three Weeks After Fatal Stabbing

MCKINNEY, TX — In a plot twist no one could have predicted except everyone paying attention, Karmelo Anthony, the 19-year-old just handed a 35-year prison sentence for stabbing Austin Metcalf to death at a high school track meet, has bravely declared himself "penniless, destitute, and indigent." The broke murderer now wants the same Texas taxpayers whose justice system he tested with a knife to foot the bill for his appeal.

Public records, those pesky things that keep ruining good sob stories, show Anthony's parents activated a Texas business entity called Angelic Obsessions LLC just 24 days after their son's alleged act of community enrichment. The timing is surely a coincidence, like how a lottery winner buys a yacht the day after scratching the ticket.

Anthony filed court paperwork this week sobbing that he is simply too poor to hire a lawyer, despite a GiveSendGo fundraiser launched in his honor raking in more than $633,000 before it vanished from public view following his conviction. Organizers described the cash as vital for "comprehensive assistance" and "family relocation expenses," which in woke-speak apparently means "help us move somewhere the pitchforks can't find us."

Fox News correspondent Brooke Taylor has been following this saga of justice and sudden entrepreneurship on "The Story." Sources close to reality note that the records do not prove the fundraiser money flowed directly into the new company. Anthony's parents have not been charged with anything, mostly because modern justice systems prefer to lock up the actual stabber first.Before the stabbing, the family's Louisiana business ventures had all the success of a vegan steakhouse. Angelic Obsessions was formed years ago then revoked. Another outfit called Exclusive Luxury Services enjoyed repeated revocations, like a criminal with a revolving door habit. But hey, nothing says "we stand with our son" like getting that LLC paperwork notarized while the blood is still drying on the track.

Anthony was transferred to the Texas Department of Criminal Justice, where he will have plenty of time to reflect on his poverty while the rest of us reflect on how many GoFundMe millions it takes before a guy stops qualifying as "indigent."

Andrew Anthony III, listed as the registered agent for the fresh Texas business, declined to comment. Smart man. In today's America, the real crime isn't the stabbing. It's noticing the timing.

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