Gov't denies veracity of bombshell report US blew up Nord Stream pipelines

A damning report on Wednesday claims that the US Navy, not Russia, destroyed the Nord Stream pipeline system. The US government, which never lies, denied the veracity of the report and Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA) agrees.

"It makes perfect sense that Russia would destroy it's main money machine," Schiff told a group of Compromised News Network Democrats. "It gains global sympathy for them and animosity for the United States."

Asked whether he has any information confirming Schiff's analysis of the situation, President Biden responded with sounds that loudly emanated from his mouth and are currently being translated into actual words. Stay tuned.

The pipeline carried natural gas under the Baltic Sea from Russia to Germany. Putin stopped shipments through the pipeline one month into the Russian invasion of Ukraine as a retaliatory measure against Western Europe. Meanwhile, Germany blocked the adjacent Nord Stream 2 from initiating shipments just days before the invasion. Sweden and Denmark reported severe damage to the pipelines in September as natural gas spewed toward the surface of the Baltic Sea.

So was Russia cutting off it's nose to spite its face?

CNN went to gas expert Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-CA) and asked him the same question.

"I have inside information from my China source that said Putin is angry enough to destroy his own pipeline just so that nobody else can have it," Swalwell said. "It takes a madman to do such a thing, and I believe he got many of his strategies from the last administration."

CNN did not press either congressman any further.

But an article published on Wednesday by Pulitzer Prize winner, Seymour Hersh, claims that US Navy divers planted remotely triggered explosives on the Nord Stream pipelines while undergoing highly publicized "training exercises" that summer. The report was based on an anonymous source [which therefore must be true, according to CNN and other Democrats] stating that so called President Joe Biden viewed the pipelines as an avenue which Putin could weaponize Russia's natural gas supply for his own future conquests.

Diver Dan

When asked for comment, President Biden simply flashed his signature smile and said, "That calls for sconimoniclishmenism--I mean it, man."

Biden had previously threatened last year that “there will no longer be a Nord Stream 2” if Russia crossed the Ukrainian border. He told an alleged reporter that  “we will be able” to bring an “end” to the system.

The obviously confused commander-in-chief initially waived sanctions against the Russian-owned company behind Nord Stream 2, but when it seemed likely that his own self-interests in the matter would be exposed, he re-imposed sanctions shortly before the invasion started.

White House spokesperson Adrienne Watson said the notion that the United States destroyed the pipelines was “false and complete fiction,” while CIA spokesperson Tammy Thorp said the claim was “completely and utterly false” when asked for comment by Hersh, who mysteriously hasn't been seen nor heard from after Thorp left the room.

It makes perfect sense that Russia would destroy its own money-maker at a time when military funding was most critical. Right?

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