Trump: US will beat China and Russia with 'super duper missile'

Let's not pretend that President Trump is boring and not enormously entertaining. His simple verbiage and delivery of his lines usually leaves no chance for misinterpretation, and you have to admit, he can often be compared to a standup comedian. 

But sometimes you have to guess what Trump means because he often speaks in New York shorthand, which being a native New Yorker, I generally understand.

While unveiling the flag for his new Space Force in the Oval Office in the White House, President Trump has said the United States will beat out military rivals including Russia and China with “'super duper missile.”

A super duper missile.

“We have no choice, we have to do it with the adversaries we have out there. We have, I call it the super duper missile and I heard the other night [it’s] 17 times faster than what they have right now,” Trump said on Friday.

“That’s right,” said Trump’s defense secretary, Mark Esper, standing to his right.

“You take the fastest missile we have right now,” Trump said. “You heard Russia has five times and China’s working on five or six times, we have one 17 times and it’s just got the go-ahead.”

What? We have 17 times what?

The DOD said in March it had successfully tested an unarmed hypersonic missile, a weapon that could potentially overwhelm other missile defense systems, so Trump must be talking about our missile being able to go 17 times faster than sound. That's often referred to as "super duper." 

But can it really go that fast?

According to the Pentagon, the test was successfully performed in Hawaii. The missile flew at hypersonic speeds [which is over five times the speed of sound] to a designated impact point.

Super Duper Missile

Hypersonic weapons can take missile and nuclear warfare to a new and more threatening level. They can go much faster [at super duper speeds] than current ballistic and cruise missiles, fly at different altitudes and have the maneuverability that makes them difficult to track and target with current missile defense systems.

Both Russia and China are developing similar military capabilities as they seek to field the technology and erode America’s military dominance.

Russian President Vladimir Putin has claimed Russian Avangard missiles [named after a powerful Russian deodorant] can “travel at up to 20 times the speed of sound, like a ‘meteorite’ or a ‘fireball,’” according Bloomberg.

“Not a single country possesses hypersonic weapons, let alone continental-range hypersonic weapons,” Putin reportedly told the Russian military in December. “They’re trying to catch up with us," adding, "our missiles are super."

Perhaps, Vladimir, but ours are super duper. Put that in your pooper scooper.

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