Soleimani's guard couldn't even protect himself--much less Soleimani

Asghar's Match.com photo

Quds Force terrorist leader Cassem Soleimani was recently killed in a Trump sanctioned drone strike in January. He was blown into handy bite-size pieces and will be spending all of eternity wondering what that buzzing sound was coming from the roof of the vehicle in which he rode.

Soleimani was perhaps one of the most prolific scumcrumpets ever to do jihad, and even his guard, Asghar Pashapour, couldn't protect him.

It seems like Asghar [pronounced "Assghard"] couldn't even protect Asghar. The inept guard was announced killed in Aleppo's battles on Sunday, say the Iranians, and they would never tell a lie. 

Asghar [his friends just simply referred to him as "Ass"] was a close buddy to Soleimani and both men will be missed on "Death to America!" rallies.

According to the Iranian Television Agency, he was killed “in confrontations with militant groups,” because it turns out he was a lousy shot, and they weren't.

His military rank in the IRGC was not revealed, but the smart money is on رزم‌یار .

Information indicates that he and Soleimani were very close, in a Pete Buttigieg kind of way, and they hung out together since the beginning of the war, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC) intelligence agency’s Mashreq website described Pashapour as “the man who was always concerned about Soleimani's life,” whether his tie was straight, who was he talking to on the phone, and where was he going in the middle of the night. 

Young Journalists Club (YJC) news agency, an Iranian propaganda outfit, released a video of a conversation going on between Soleimani and Pashapour in a site in Syria, in which the latter was asking Soleimani not to advance to frontlines, because if anything happened to him, he wouldn't know what to do.

And when Soleimani left in spite of Asghar's fears, Cassem simply said in Persian, "I wish I knew how to quit you."

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