"You no can escape our rockets, America"

Korean banner reads: "Place Quarter in Slot"

According to claims made by North Korea, it has successfully tested a solid-fuel rocket engine more powerful than a locomotive and able to boost its attack capability against the U.S. and South Korea.

In response to this new possible threat, President Obama called Secretary of State John Kerry and asked if there was any way we could bring illegal North Koreans in through Mexico. The president believes that if we can show the North Koreans how much we embrace multiculturalism, they would be our friends.

North Korea typically uses liquid rocket propellants for their main ballistic missiles that target the South and our bases in the Asia-Pacific region. They also target the west coast of our mainland, but we don't seem to be worried about it or the threat of ISIS, Russia and China.

Before launching, liquid-fuel missiles need to be fueled just before launch, and this takes precious time in military terms. Solid fuel propellants greatly cut that time and can be used to attack us with a flip of the proverbial switch. The missiles are also more portable, making them difficult to locate and blow up.

North Korean Leader for Life Kim Jong Un showed mirth and glee after watching the successful testing of a "large-output solid fuel rocket engine," by a country not known for its rocket scientists.

The first kiss

Kim, standing below his funny hairdo said at the testing: "Wow, that shakes things up a rot." He said that the test will increase their missile capability that will "mercilessly" strike enemies of the state. He was obviously referring to us and the South Koreans.

Whether or not any of this is true cannot be verified because "they say this crap all the time," Hillary Clinton uttered under her breath.

Kim gave Dennis Rodman a sealed message to deliver to President Obama which read: "Be scared, American dog. Be very scared."

President Obama was not available for comment; he was attending an exhibition baseball game and was having fun doing "the wave" with the communist fans and unshackled prisoners of Cuba.









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