North Korea's Superbowl

According to my sources gone dark inside the bowels of North Korea, the country is in the process of fueling up the Unha 3 "space vehicle" named after Kim Jung Un with a "ha" at the end.  They may or may not do it by the day after the Superbowl.

The missile is currently at the Sci-Tech Complex in Pyongyang where it is undergoing its last tests, which in this case, are multiple choice questions.

North Korea is expected to finish the fueling process today but had run into some difficulties with Kim's MasterCard he tried using at the pump. The glitch has been rectified and the pumping continues.

According to my spies, the launch may go off as early as Monday and as late as Hillary's indictment. Only time will tell.

The U.S. Navy has already positioned a Japan-based guided missile destroyer with real anti-ballistic missile defense technology to shoot down the Unha 3 if it is deemed to be a threat to the homeland. However, President Obama has said that the United States should welcome all missiles and not merely U.S. missiles because that's who we are as a nation.

The Pentagon does not believe the current missile will carry a nuclear warhead but, hey, you never know. The missile can be used for a satellite or a nuke--same stuff inside, defense officials say. "The damn thing could take out LA, but good riddance to those liberal wussies," the same official said in a huff.

The North Koreans notified the U.N. earlier in the week that the launch of an earth observation satellite will take place sometime between February 8th to 25th. 

North Korea has yet to discover leap year.

In 2012 North Korea launched a satellite into orbit but it is not certain if remains in space and the U.S. at the time did an "Obama," clucking our tongue, waving our finger, and calling the test "provocative."

In December 2012 when the Unha 3 sent the "Bright Star" satellite into orbit, North Korea hailed it as a matter of great national pride as President Obama coincidentally spoke about gay pride. 

Have no fear, the U.S. commander of NORAD is confident that we can most likely shoot down a North Korean nuclear missile headed our way with any luck.


Tweet