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GAZA — In another heartbreaking blow to the local organic pharmaceutical and import-export sector, Israeli forces and the Shin Bet reportedly neutralized [aka goaterized] Mohammed Fathi Abdelhai Abu Fakher Yadda Yadda Yadda on Monday. Abu Fakher was widely known within his community as a passionate regional director for the "Yabna" youth outreach program, a subsidiary of the Rafah Brigade.
According to sources close to the community, Abu Fakher was a tireless advocate for workforce development. He had recently dedicated his days to an aggressive talent acquisition campaign, onboarding energetic new operatives and spearheading an ambitious corporate restructuring plan to rebuild the battalion's operational capabilities in order to destroy Israel and all the Jews in the world to make room for a global caliphate.
In addition to his human resources work, colleagues noted he was a logistics wizard who specialized in creative, unconventional supply chain management and international procurement, ensuring that specialized hardware such as rockets, drones, rifles and ammunition, was successfully acquired and distributed throughout Gaza for many years.
At press time, mainstream media outlets were already drafting headlines mourning the loss of yet another "passionate logistics manager and youth mentor."
May the goats stand ready to satisfy his proclivities.
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