Busted! Commie arrested in Molotov cocktail attack at Las Vegas Tesla shop: faces federal charges

Well, folks, it seems like a commie in Vegas have traded in his hammer and sickle for a Molotov cocktail and a can of spray paint. Paul Hyon Kim, a 36-year-old genius, decided to channel his inner anarchist and torch a few Teslas at a dealership last week. 

Nothing says "workers' paradise" like setting fire to some sweet electric rides, right?

The Las Vegas Metro Police nabbed this Einstein on Wednesday after he allegedly turned at least five cars into a barbecue on March 18 at the local Tesla Collision Center. Kim's facing a laundry list of charges longer than a CVS receipt—destruction of property, arson, and possessing a fire device. 

Sounds like he’s ready for the big leagues!

But hang on, there’s more. The feds are jumping in on the action too. 

Spencer Evans, the FBI’s top guy in Vegas, told reporters on Thursday that Kim’s got some federal charges coming his way. Evans dropped this gem: "There's nothing courageous or noble about firebombing private property and terrorizing your local community." 

Boom! Tell it like it is, Spence. He went on: "The self-righteous mob that's cheering you on today to commit acts of violence on their behalf will leave you high and dry and forget about you tomorrow. And at the end of the day, you and you alone will be held responsible and face the prospect of a lengthy prison sentence." Preach, brother! Sounds like Kim’s about to learn that revolution comes with a side of jail time.

Here’s how it went down: Kim rolled up in a black Hyundai Elantra—real subtle—then strolled over to the Tesla joint decked out in gloves, black clothes, and a concealed face. This guy’s watched one too many spy flicks. He allegedly took a rifle to the surveillance cameras—because who needs evidence?—and spray-painted "resist" on the front doors. Deep, man. Oh, and they found an unlit Molotov cocktail in one of the cars. Guess he forgot the matches or couldn't count to six.

The police say Kim’s social media is a treasure trove of communist fanboy posts and Palestinian cause shoutouts. His DNA matched samples from the scene—shocker!—and when they raided his place and cars, they hit the jackpot: rifles, a shotgun, a handgun, gun parts, and enough ammo to start a small militia.

This isn’t a solo act either. Tesla dealerships and factories have been under siege lately, mostly by folks ticked off at Trump and Elon Musk. Why? Elon’s not just the Tesla kingpin—he’s also stirring the pot at the Department of Government Efficiency, or DOGE, which sounds like a cryptocurrency but is actually a government gig. 

The haters are out in force, and the FBI’s had enough. They’ve teamed up with the ATF to form a task force to squash these pyromaniacs like the cockroaches they are.

So, there you have it—another day, another leftist lunatic thinking he’s Che Guevara. Good luck in the slammer, Kimmy! Maybe they’ll let you spray-paint "resist" on your cell wall.

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