Comedy News Network mum on Toobin since masturbating on Zoom

Don't touch that hand, trust me

Wow, it has been six months since CNN's legal analyst Jeffrey "Hang On, I'll Be Right There" Toobin took  time off for getting off, solo, on a Zoom call. It isn't like we all haven't done it on a Zoom call at least once, but hey, his last name is Toobin--you can't pick a better name for someone who gets caught going into "manual override," if you follow my drift.

Last October, Vice broke the story about the alleged incident in which Toobin exposed himself to his New Yorker colleagues in that infamous call that was then described as "election simulation." Even that choice of words is just 2 letters off from. a hilarious description: just change one "l" to an "r" and add a "t" in the appropriate spaces.

It was later revealed that Toobin was seen "Toobining" during what was supposed to be a 10-minute "strategy session."

Toobin was later fired by the New Yorker following an investigation, but his status at CNN remains a mystery. Will the network take him back or does he have to take matters into his own hand and demand they do?

At the time, CNN issued a statement saying, "Jeff Toobin has asked for some time off while he deals with a personal issue, which we have granted." The personal issue referred to was the fact that Toobin got caught in the process of "finding Nemo," if you get my point.

However, the fact that Toobin hasn't formally been axed is fueling speculation of an eventual return to the network once things get worked out, and certain CNN insiders believe he will.

That being said, the DIY dabbler has a history of disturbing sexual behavior and there have been rumors in a 2010 Gawker report about Toobin's inappropriate actions with women outside his wonderful marriage to his lovely wife. And then there's the situation in which Toobin fathered a child in 2009 with Casey Greenfield, the lovely daughter of Jeff Greenfield his former CNN colleague.

Toobin urged Ms. Greenfield to have the baby professionally killed by doctors but she refused and was later taken to court where he lied saying the child was not his. The weasel was forced to take a DNA test which proved he lied and was indeed the father of the child, and was ordered to pay child support.

Jeffrey Toobin may have engaged in safe sex on Zoom, but beyond that blooper he is a horrible person and that makes him star material for CNN.

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